So, I am buying lunch in the cafeteria today and I see this one guy I have noticed for a while now. He’s about 5’9”, lean and fit, who has longer straight brown hair tied into a small ponytail. He doesn’t have much of a brow bone and has little facial hair, except for a little scraggly stuff around the mouth and his sideburns. Although I am not really into feminine men, I do have to admit that he is fairly attractive in a feminine sort of way. Perhaps it’s not a feminine man way, just more of an androgynous sort of way, even though he is definitely a guy. I guess he just seems very masculine but in a very clean way.
I asked Robi if she thought he was cute, and she said I was the second one to ask her that recently. She said she didn’t really find him that attractive, but I still think he’s pretty decent looking.
Monday, June 28, 2004
Sunday, June 27, 2004
First Ever San Francisco Trans March
I think it was sometime near last weekend when a guy posted an unusual thread in a Yahoo group I subscribe to. He posted something along the lines of opening up a Transgender Crisis Center. It’s a good idea, but he also posted that he was an admirer of trans women and wanted the center to be a place where a T could safely be with her lover….well, it’s my words trying to express what I was reading. It sounded more like a brothel when I first read it, and it set him up for a huge power differential with T’s who need help looking up to this guy who is attracted to them. It’s a situation just asking for trouble.
I responded to this guy’s email, perhaps a bit harshly, to express my concerns over the situations he might find himself in. He thought I was flaming him. Perhaps I did, perhaps I didn’t. I’m sure there are two truths hidden within what happened, but we disagreed. He said his operation had already begun and he was setting up housing in an area between San Francisco and San Jose.
I didn’t know if this guy was legit or not, so I asked around the TGSF yahoo group to see if they had heard anything. Because I am fairly small and feared for my own safety, I didn’t really want to meet this guy to check him out. A friend on TGSF, though, told me she was meeting with him and would let me know what she thought of him. Late this past week, she said she met with him and said he meant well, but had a little trouble expressing his exact intentions. He didn’t realize that “admirers” were frowned on a little within the T community. They’re typically men who are interested in having sex with T’s, but nothing else. They prefer the fantasy of sex with a T without having an actual relationship.
Anyway, she also said that they were driving around some of the known T areas looking for anyone that was giving T’s a hard time. She said they performed a little education on some guys, but she didn’t really say anything beyond that.
So, the guy goes by DarinX. We’ve exchanged a few emails here and there. He says they are more like Guardian Angles, similar to the public vigilantes on the East Coast. They don’t hurt people, but they will step in to protect people from harm.
Friday night was the first ever Tranny March. I was asked by the organizer to speak for five minutes, along with a number of others, at the gathering in Dolores Park. Because this past week was pretty busy for me, along with having a light cold hit me Thursday, I didn’t have much time to prepare a speech. I kinda threw one together on Thursday, and then refined it during the day on Friday. Too often, I see a lot of hate spill forth in speeches from the transgender community and I didn’t want to do that. Plus, I am not one that usually lets hate rule my life. I wanted to say something positive, so below is the approximate dialogue from my less-than-5-minute speech:
After a few other speakers, the gatherers proceeded up Dolores to Market, then over to the Civic Center where they had started a trans alter as well as arranged more speakers to talk. Cecilia Chung of SF Pride did an excellent job putting it all together in such short time. After a number of people who are influential within the T community talked, along with Sylvia Guerrero and Mark Leno, I called Claire to see if she was up for a bite. As I was standing there talking to her, two men walk up to me and are standing fairly close. Too close. The area has pretty much cleared out except there are a few people still around. The one guy sticks out his hand…..I cautiously grab it to shake, and he says, “DarinX,” then walks away with his buddy. It happened so fast I had no time to be scared or frightened.
So, Claire and I met up for dinner down in the Tenderloin area. The area isn’t all bad, but it’s not the nicest neighborhood. I walked past DarinX and his buddy on my way there, telling them, “Don’t cause too much trouble” in a joking manner.
After dinner, Claire sat with me as I waited for the bus back to BART. A gentleman approached and sat next to me..….for more on this, see Claire’s blog. Although she had a bad reaction to his presence, I had no trouble with him. He was most likely a tranny chaser as we were about a half block from downtown transsexual-central and he asked questions indicating his knowledge of the area. We even saw a TS sex worker getting arrested across the street from us as we waited for the bus.
Anyway, I ran into DarinX a few times during the weekend as we had a few activities with TGSF in San Francisco’s Pride. Darin seems like a nice guy, just not quite aware of the “admirer” label he used in his introduction of himself and his idea. Darin also visited us at the booth that I worked mainly on Sunday, when we also had a float in the parade. All I know is I am crashing early tonight. I’m bushed.
I responded to this guy’s email, perhaps a bit harshly, to express my concerns over the situations he might find himself in. He thought I was flaming him. Perhaps I did, perhaps I didn’t. I’m sure there are two truths hidden within what happened, but we disagreed. He said his operation had already begun and he was setting up housing in an area between San Francisco and San Jose.
I didn’t know if this guy was legit or not, so I asked around the TGSF yahoo group to see if they had heard anything. Because I am fairly small and feared for my own safety, I didn’t really want to meet this guy to check him out. A friend on TGSF, though, told me she was meeting with him and would let me know what she thought of him. Late this past week, she said she met with him and said he meant well, but had a little trouble expressing his exact intentions. He didn’t realize that “admirers” were frowned on a little within the T community. They’re typically men who are interested in having sex with T’s, but nothing else. They prefer the fantasy of sex with a T without having an actual relationship.
Anyway, she also said that they were driving around some of the known T areas looking for anyone that was giving T’s a hard time. She said they performed a little education on some guys, but she didn’t really say anything beyond that.
So, the guy goes by DarinX. We’ve exchanged a few emails here and there. He says they are more like Guardian Angles, similar to the public vigilantes on the East Coast. They don’t hurt people, but they will step in to protect people from harm.
Friday night was the first ever Tranny March. I was asked by the organizer to speak for five minutes, along with a number of others, at the gathering in Dolores Park. Because this past week was pretty busy for me, along with having a light cold hit me Thursday, I didn’t have much time to prepare a speech. I kinda threw one together on Thursday, and then refined it during the day on Friday. Too often, I see a lot of hate spill forth in speeches from the transgender community and I didn’t want to do that. Plus, I am not one that usually lets hate rule my life. I wanted to say something positive, so below is the approximate dialogue from my less-than-5-minute speech:
Pride. What is it? I decided to rummage through the dictionary to get the official definition: (I asked the emcee and friend, Travis, if he would kinda have a little fun with every definition I read off…and since he is one of the nicest guys I know, he obliged. I even threw in a few of my own little comments) Pride - 1. A sense of one’s proper dignity or value. [oh, yeah, work it Travis] 2. Pleasure or satisfaction taken in achievement, possession, or association. [Hey now!!!] 3. Arrogance, conceit. [w h a t e v e r] 4. The best of a group or class. 5. A group of lions. [rrrwwwwoooooaaaarrrrrrrr]
OK, that’s Pride, but what about Proud: Proud – 1. Feeling pleasurable satisfaction. [Travis!!!!] 2. Occasioning pride. [What the hell does that mean???] 3. Feeling or showing self respect. 4. Filled with or showing excessive self-esteem. 5. Of great dignity, honored. 6. Majestic, magnificent. 7. An even larger group of lions. [Just kidding].
For five letters words, those are pretty complex definitions. I thought of a simpler definition – I’m happy to be me.
Yeah, I’m proud of my journey, proud of my decisions, and proud of who I am today. I share that pride by just being me, as does everyone here. Some of you may not believe this, but things are getting better for all of us – things are changing – and it will continue to change as long as each of us is true to our selves – true to who we are.
Our journeys are very unique, but our roads do cross – tonight, maybe this weekend, and possibly in the future. We’re all different, that’s a given. Don’t be afraid to be different, but don’t let it prevent you from being you. I may be different in the eyes of some, but I’m happy being me. I hope you are happy being you.
After a few other speakers, the gatherers proceeded up Dolores to Market, then over to the Civic Center where they had started a trans alter as well as arranged more speakers to talk. Cecilia Chung of SF Pride did an excellent job putting it all together in such short time. After a number of people who are influential within the T community talked, along with Sylvia Guerrero and Mark Leno, I called Claire to see if she was up for a bite. As I was standing there talking to her, two men walk up to me and are standing fairly close. Too close. The area has pretty much cleared out except there are a few people still around. The one guy sticks out his hand…..I cautiously grab it to shake, and he says, “DarinX,” then walks away with his buddy. It happened so fast I had no time to be scared or frightened.
So, Claire and I met up for dinner down in the Tenderloin area. The area isn’t all bad, but it’s not the nicest neighborhood. I walked past DarinX and his buddy on my way there, telling them, “Don’t cause too much trouble” in a joking manner.
After dinner, Claire sat with me as I waited for the bus back to BART. A gentleman approached and sat next to me..….for more on this, see Claire’s blog. Although she had a bad reaction to his presence, I had no trouble with him. He was most likely a tranny chaser as we were about a half block from downtown transsexual-central and he asked questions indicating his knowledge of the area. We even saw a TS sex worker getting arrested across the street from us as we waited for the bus.
Anyway, I ran into DarinX a few times during the weekend as we had a few activities with TGSF in San Francisco’s Pride. Darin seems like a nice guy, just not quite aware of the “admirer” label he used in his introduction of himself and his idea. Darin also visited us at the booth that I worked mainly on Sunday, when we also had a float in the parade. All I know is I am crashing early tonight. I’m bushed.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Depression
It’s not a constant problem, but it does exist to a degree. It’s sorta like the ocean tides; it comes and goes, and it eats away with the gentle pounding.
I wrote earlier this month that I was happy. I’ve come to realize that I’ll probably never be happy. I’m happier than I was, yes, but I’ll truly never be where I’d like to be. I’ll never have my fully female body, nor my youth as a girl. Sometimes I wonder if my facial hair will ever go away, and will people in my family be able to accept me (well, those that don’t already). Sure, I’m whining. I have a lot going for me – but we all have things we’d like to get past. They weigh on me. I can say, “hey, I can’t help how they feel about me” – but in reality I still care for them even though they have shut me out of their life.
I wrote earlier this month that I was happy. I’ve come to realize that I’ll probably never be happy. I’m happier than I was, yes, but I’ll truly never be where I’d like to be. I’ll never have my fully female body, nor my youth as a girl. Sometimes I wonder if my facial hair will ever go away, and will people in my family be able to accept me (well, those that don’t already). Sure, I’m whining. I have a lot going for me – but we all have things we’d like to get past. They weigh on me. I can say, “hey, I can’t help how they feel about me” – but in reality I still care for them even though they have shut me out of their life.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Justice?
San Francisco’s Pride celebration is this coming weekend. The parade is this Sunday starting around 10:30am. I will be riding with TGSF since I am the first runner-up to Ms. TGSF 2004. The theme for this year’s Pride is “Out for Justice.” Some in the T community have also organized a Tranny March for Friday night to show that although we may be a minority within the LGBT community, we are still here. I, along with the other TGSF Outreach Co-Chair, was asked to speak at the gathering. In light of today’s events, I would be honored to say a few words in front of my transgender brothers and sisters.
What happened today, you might ask? Well, the Gwen Araujo trial ended in a mistrial. The jurors could not come to a conclusion on the guilt of the three defendants. All three are accused of brutally murdering Gwen, a transgender youth, in a small suburb here in the San Francisco Bay Area. A fourth man plead to manslaughter in exchange for his testimony. The jury came back 10-2 against first-degree murder for two of the men, and 7-5 in favor of first-degree murder for the third. From what I am reading, none of the jurors thought any of the defendants should walk away with manslaughter, and the judge did not let them consider either manslaughter or second-degree murder since they did not fully acquit them of first-degree murder. The prosecution says they will retry the case, which is not expected to begin until next year.
I wasn’t able to get that involved with this case because I was going through my own turmoil of going full time and having facial surgery. I had friends that did attend portions of the trial, and they can probably provide better accounts of the proceedings than I can. I know Gwen Smith was present and has some words about all of this in her blogger.
It’s too bad justice wasn’t served. Hopefully it was just delayed. I know that there are a lot of people who know that these four men did a very bad thing in murdering Gwen, but it’s too bad that the defense attorneys can get away with pushing this gay panic thing on the jury. Via channels, I heard that the defense lawyer was able to tell the male jury members (8 of the 12) that they should look at the murder through the eyes of the defendants, and that the women should think like a man in order to understand. Pathetic. Perhaps people will see the injustice that transgender people face on a continual basis. Let’s turn it around for a moment. Four gay guys who aren’t openly out as being gay are hanging out at a party in their residence when a fifth man, who a few of them have had sex with, shows up to party as well. During the course of the night, they find out this guy is really a straight woman who just comes across as being fairly masculine. They beat and strangle her to a bloody corpse, then bury her over 150 miles away. Do you think these four gay guys are going to get first-degree murder charges even though they had “straight-panic” for a moment and felt rage against this straight woman? You bet they will, especially if they killed a straight woman. Why then, is it different if the victim is a transgender woman? Her essence was female. These men saw it, but when confronted with her physical body, their macho male ego was shattered. OMG…they were gay. Whatever. Listen, if you think a transgender woman is pretty, it’s no big deal. You're not gay. Most men are going to find her attractive as well. Gwen was a very pretty young woman and there were obviously a few men attracted to her. It’s too bad their fragile egos felt the need to kill her.
Hopefully, one day, justice will prevail.
What happened today, you might ask? Well, the Gwen Araujo trial ended in a mistrial. The jurors could not come to a conclusion on the guilt of the three defendants. All three are accused of brutally murdering Gwen, a transgender youth, in a small suburb here in the San Francisco Bay Area. A fourth man plead to manslaughter in exchange for his testimony. The jury came back 10-2 against first-degree murder for two of the men, and 7-5 in favor of first-degree murder for the third. From what I am reading, none of the jurors thought any of the defendants should walk away with manslaughter, and the judge did not let them consider either manslaughter or second-degree murder since they did not fully acquit them of first-degree murder. The prosecution says they will retry the case, which is not expected to begin until next year.
I wasn’t able to get that involved with this case because I was going through my own turmoil of going full time and having facial surgery. I had friends that did attend portions of the trial, and they can probably provide better accounts of the proceedings than I can. I know Gwen Smith was present and has some words about all of this in her blogger.
It’s too bad justice wasn’t served. Hopefully it was just delayed. I know that there are a lot of people who know that these four men did a very bad thing in murdering Gwen, but it’s too bad that the defense attorneys can get away with pushing this gay panic thing on the jury. Via channels, I heard that the defense lawyer was able to tell the male jury members (8 of the 12) that they should look at the murder through the eyes of the defendants, and that the women should think like a man in order to understand. Pathetic. Perhaps people will see the injustice that transgender people face on a continual basis. Let’s turn it around for a moment. Four gay guys who aren’t openly out as being gay are hanging out at a party in their residence when a fifth man, who a few of them have had sex with, shows up to party as well. During the course of the night, they find out this guy is really a straight woman who just comes across as being fairly masculine. They beat and strangle her to a bloody corpse, then bury her over 150 miles away. Do you think these four gay guys are going to get first-degree murder charges even though they had “straight-panic” for a moment and felt rage against this straight woman? You bet they will, especially if they killed a straight woman. Why then, is it different if the victim is a transgender woman? Her essence was female. These men saw it, but when confronted with her physical body, their macho male ego was shattered. OMG…they were gay. Whatever. Listen, if you think a transgender woman is pretty, it’s no big deal. You're not gay. Most men are going to find her attractive as well. Gwen was a very pretty young woman and there were obviously a few men attracted to her. It’s too bad their fragile egos felt the need to kill her.
Hopefully, one day, justice will prevail.
Monday, June 21, 2004
I walk like a lesbian
Well, that’s what I was told, at least. I was at dinner with a lot of the usuals this past Friday evening with two special guests. Lisa and her friend were in from the Pacific Northwest and decided to have dinner with us. They both transitioned in their thirties, but in the late 80’s. You think it’s hard to transition now? You should have tried back then. Both of them went to Brussels for their SRS back when I was just entering college. How I wish I had transitioned so long ago, but the resources available now were not as readily available back then, and for those in the 60’s and 70’s, I just can’t imagine how hard it must have been. Anyway, it was nice to hear how two people were able to successfully transition and were now living their lives as two very sweet women.
During the dinner, I was sitting next to JoanB’s roommate, who just happens to be a lesbian. She was checking out one of the waitresses. They both pointed her out to me, and I found out that she likes them fairly butch. I asked her if anyone there at our table gave off a lesbian vibe. Now, she’s heard Claire on numerous occasions call me a lesbian, so she was quite fast in pointing to me. Doh! I told her that was an unfair assessment, and she just laughed. She said I did give off a very lesbian vibe though, and that I walked like a lesbian. When I asked her how lesbians walked, she said they just have a much more loose walk to them. I’ll check back after I have SRS. Perhaps my swagger will have changed by then.
During the dinner, I was sitting next to JoanB’s roommate, who just happens to be a lesbian. She was checking out one of the waitresses. They both pointed her out to me, and I found out that she likes them fairly butch. I asked her if anyone there at our table gave off a lesbian vibe. Now, she’s heard Claire on numerous occasions call me a lesbian, so she was quite fast in pointing to me. Doh! I told her that was an unfair assessment, and she just laughed. She said I did give off a very lesbian vibe though, and that I walked like a lesbian. When I asked her how lesbians walked, she said they just have a much more loose walk to them. I’ll check back after I have SRS. Perhaps my swagger will have changed by then.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
The Evil Candy Machine
A battle raged in my mind like it does in many others. I wanted chocolate, but I didn’t want the calories that are preventing me from losing the small amount of boy fat around my waist. It became almost a conversation in my mind as I debated whether or not to get some candy.
Once I decided to get something out of the vending machine, I rummaged through my purse. A brief look into my wallet showed no single dollars and my change section contained no silver. “Ha ha little girl, I’ve stopped you!” said the evil health voice.
I looked in my desk and found $0.50, still $0.15 short. “Ha ha little girl, I’ve thwarted you again!”
“No you haven’t!” I looked back through my change section and low and behold, there was a quarter. “Yes, ha ha you evil bastard, I'm getting some candy.”
At the evil candy machine, there was a guy ahead of me fumbling with his change. He finally puts in enough money to start pressing buttons, and the machine begins to whir as his item moves closer to the cliff that no item returns from. The whirring stops, but nothing falls. He’s ordered chips, and they’re hung up on the last little edge. This often happens to me with my M&M’s, but I’ve come to look before I order since there are two rows of the peanut variety. He’s trying to shake the machine, but he’s doing a poor job, so I step in to help. The guy is bigger than me but he’s a total wuss. So, I rock it a few times before finally giving it a few good shoves. Down fall his chips.
He jokingly says, “Did you used to play linebacker?” as though I seem pretty strong for a girl.
“No – running back,” I respond with. I think he thought I was joking. I used to play running back, defensive back, and wide receiver in a flag football league for a number of years. I was also the captain and the organizer of the team. At 5’5”, though, I had to make up for my lack of height with my speed and agility.
Anyway, with his response, I seem to think, more and more, that half the people in my building have no idea that I transitioned, and probably think I’m just a new person working there.
Once I decided to get something out of the vending machine, I rummaged through my purse. A brief look into my wallet showed no single dollars and my change section contained no silver. “Ha ha little girl, I’ve stopped you!” said the evil health voice.
I looked in my desk and found $0.50, still $0.15 short. “Ha ha little girl, I’ve thwarted you again!”
“No you haven’t!” I looked back through my change section and low and behold, there was a quarter. “Yes, ha ha you evil bastard, I'm getting some candy.”
At the evil candy machine, there was a guy ahead of me fumbling with his change. He finally puts in enough money to start pressing buttons, and the machine begins to whir as his item moves closer to the cliff that no item returns from. The whirring stops, but nothing falls. He’s ordered chips, and they’re hung up on the last little edge. This often happens to me with my M&M’s, but I’ve come to look before I order since there are two rows of the peanut variety. He’s trying to shake the machine, but he’s doing a poor job, so I step in to help. The guy is bigger than me but he’s a total wuss. So, I rock it a few times before finally giving it a few good shoves. Down fall his chips.
He jokingly says, “Did you used to play linebacker?” as though I seem pretty strong for a girl.
“No – running back,” I respond with. I think he thought I was joking. I used to play running back, defensive back, and wide receiver in a flag football league for a number of years. I was also the captain and the organizer of the team. At 5’5”, though, I had to make up for my lack of height with my speed and agility.
Anyway, with his response, I seem to think, more and more, that half the people in my building have no idea that I transitioned, and probably think I’m just a new person working there.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Frozen Oysters
Two days ago, I came home to my roommate lounging on the couch – his usual position. This time, however, he looked a little different. He said he was sick. Yuck. He said he and a friend had eaten some oysters on Sunday that were frozen in his friend’s freezer for quite a while. His friend was also sick, so they figured it was food poisoning.
Yesterday morning, my stomach starts feeling pretty woozy, and during the course of the day, I ended up having to visit the restroom on a number of occasions. Yuckola. When I got home yesterday evening, I told my roomie that I think I had his bug, and he informed me that a female friend at work that had visited our apartment that Sunday had picked it up too.
So, for lunch yesterday, all I was able to get down were some snap beans and rice. That was it. I think it came out later that afternoon. Nice, huh?
When I’m usually sick like this, I like to eat bread since it makes my stomach feel better. Since I didn’t have any lying around the apartment, I decided to get a sandwich at Subway. I haven’t had a sandwich there in over 3 years, outside the one I had in an airport terminal this past year. I used to work at a Subway in college, and when I saw the latest menu I was blown away with how many choices there were now. All I wanted was a Steak N' Cheese, but couldn’t find it. Then I noticed they changed the name to Cheese Steak. Anyway, it was quite delicious and, lucky for me, it did not come out anytime soon.
My stomach has still been quite woozy today, although I haven’t had to run for the bathroom at all.
Tonight, I was in the city at the Community Q&A for the Gwen Araujo Trial. They had a panel consisting of Jim Hammer, a former SF Assistant District Attorney; JoAnne Keatley, Project Director of the UCSF-CAPS Transgender Resource and Neighborhood Space; Saifa Wall, Community Organizer with Gay-Straight Alliance Network; and Chris Daley, lawyer for the Transgender Law Center. I met Jim at the 2002 Cotillion when he was a judge. I was one of the judge assistants, and sat right next to him. He and another guy got totally wasted wasted when the other guy pulled out this flask of some pretty hard alcohol. I said hi to him before the Q&A event started and reminded him where we first met. He remembered and started reminiscing about that darn flask. Jim is also covering the Scott Peterson trial for one of the local channels. I have worked with JoAnne on a number of outreach committee activities in the city. I’d never met Saifa before tonight, but she was a very well spoken young woman. I have known Chris Daley for a number of years now, ever since I met him with one of the first education activities I put on with TGSF. They were all great speakers and provided a different perspective on a number of different aspects of the trial…from the trial itself, its possible outcomes, how to prevent the murder from happening again, how to educate the rest of the US starting in the schools, and how much of the US isn’t sensitized to transgender people. We even touched on the upcoming Pride festivities.
Cecilia and I were two of the first to arrive and we sat and chatted a bit before the event. Afterward, I hung around and talked with Gayle after not seeing her in quite a while. I think she was one of the first fully recovered Dr. O patients I had ever seen. I thought she was GG when I first met her. We talked about some of the lingering aftereffects of Dr. O’s surgery.
Gwen Smith and I chatted for a while after most of the people had cleared out. It was nice talking to her about some of her past history with her family and wife. I even chatted with a woman from CUAV (Community United Against Violence) who said I looked quite different than most of the TGSF people she’d met in the past.
I didn’t tell her this, but who else is there to do outreach projects with besides TGSF? I don’t work in the city, so it’s hard to do any of the weekly activities there. Plus, I have to work to pay for my own transition, so I can’t really volunteer during the week to help out. There are a few other possible groups, and I have worked with one or two of them in the past. Now that I have most things in order after FFS, I might look into working with some of them again.
Yesterday morning, my stomach starts feeling pretty woozy, and during the course of the day, I ended up having to visit the restroom on a number of occasions. Yuckola. When I got home yesterday evening, I told my roomie that I think I had his bug, and he informed me that a female friend at work that had visited our apartment that Sunday had picked it up too.
So, for lunch yesterday, all I was able to get down were some snap beans and rice. That was it. I think it came out later that afternoon. Nice, huh?
When I’m usually sick like this, I like to eat bread since it makes my stomach feel better. Since I didn’t have any lying around the apartment, I decided to get a sandwich at Subway. I haven’t had a sandwich there in over 3 years, outside the one I had in an airport terminal this past year. I used to work at a Subway in college, and when I saw the latest menu I was blown away with how many choices there were now. All I wanted was a Steak N' Cheese, but couldn’t find it. Then I noticed they changed the name to Cheese Steak. Anyway, it was quite delicious and, lucky for me, it did not come out anytime soon.
My stomach has still been quite woozy today, although I haven’t had to run for the bathroom at all.
Tonight, I was in the city at the Community Q&A for the Gwen Araujo Trial. They had a panel consisting of Jim Hammer, a former SF Assistant District Attorney; JoAnne Keatley, Project Director of the UCSF-CAPS Transgender Resource and Neighborhood Space; Saifa Wall, Community Organizer with Gay-Straight Alliance Network; and Chris Daley, lawyer for the Transgender Law Center. I met Jim at the 2002 Cotillion when he was a judge. I was one of the judge assistants, and sat right next to him. He and another guy got totally wasted wasted when the other guy pulled out this flask of some pretty hard alcohol. I said hi to him before the Q&A event started and reminded him where we first met. He remembered and started reminiscing about that darn flask. Jim is also covering the Scott Peterson trial for one of the local channels. I have worked with JoAnne on a number of outreach committee activities in the city. I’d never met Saifa before tonight, but she was a very well spoken young woman. I have known Chris Daley for a number of years now, ever since I met him with one of the first education activities I put on with TGSF. They were all great speakers and provided a different perspective on a number of different aspects of the trial…from the trial itself, its possible outcomes, how to prevent the murder from happening again, how to educate the rest of the US starting in the schools, and how much of the US isn’t sensitized to transgender people. We even touched on the upcoming Pride festivities.
Cecilia and I were two of the first to arrive and we sat and chatted a bit before the event. Afterward, I hung around and talked with Gayle after not seeing her in quite a while. I think she was one of the first fully recovered Dr. O patients I had ever seen. I thought she was GG when I first met her. We talked about some of the lingering aftereffects of Dr. O’s surgery.
Gwen Smith and I chatted for a while after most of the people had cleared out. It was nice talking to her about some of her past history with her family and wife. I even chatted with a woman from CUAV (Community United Against Violence) who said I looked quite different than most of the TGSF people she’d met in the past.
I didn’t tell her this, but who else is there to do outreach projects with besides TGSF? I don’t work in the city, so it’s hard to do any of the weekly activities there. Plus, I have to work to pay for my own transition, so I can’t really volunteer during the week to help out. There are a few other possible groups, and I have worked with one or two of them in the past. Now that I have most things in order after FFS, I might look into working with some of them again.
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