I have attended the TGSF Executive Committee meeting for the past few months ever since winning the title of Ms. Transgender San Francisco 2009. A few months ago they were looking at some education options, one of which included seeing if Dr. O was up for presenting on FFS.
So, I contacted his office to see if he would be available at one of TGSF's End of Month activities. We settled on May 28th for him to talk. I confirmed both a month and week ahead of time and gave them my number if anything went wrong.
Dr. O and Mira both showed up right on time, if not a touch early, but unfortunately, our usual private room was not available and we were not able to have the presentation as we would have preferred.
I was horribly disappointed since we put in a lot of effort to have him there, and he was unable to present on his materials. Not only that, but there were people that came to hear him talk.
As Dr. O, Mira, and myself waited on the potential opening of our presentation room, though, we were able to chat a little.
Initially, Dr. O planned to retire in 2011. That has since changed. It appears that he plans to work another 3-5 years, making his likelihood for retirement sometime between 2012 to 2014.
It also appears that Dr. O will have a successor. Mira mentioned that they do plan on having an announcement in the future. On the downside, it appears that successor may not be in the San Francisco Bay Area. Mira mentioned a location for the announcement, but I'm not going to mention it here as it may lead to a lot of conjecture.
She also mentioned that Dr. O will be alongside the successor in the OR for a decent amount of time to ensure all knowledge has been passed along.
Dr. O did mention that the economy isn't the best right now, and even he was feeling it, but he still had patients coming in for FFS. I know a lot of trans-people have probably been affected by the economy as well, and have likely put off FFS or SRS because of their financial situations. Hopefully the delay in his retirement will bring a little sigh of relief to those still working on their funds.
Dr. O is a very resilient man. His father lived into his 90's, I believe, and at least one of his father's siblings just celebrated their 95th birthday. I think Dr. O's work has even gotten better since I saw him in 2004. A local girl recently had surgery with him this past Fall, and I have to say, she is probably the best result I have ever seen of his patients. So, it's nice to know he is still spitting out some great work, and will continue to do so for the next few years.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Marie Claire article
I caught this on-line article a week or two ago and finally got a little time to write about it.
In the article, a woman with a disfiguring condition discusses her dating situation. When I first read the title, the thought of my own situation definitely ran through my mind. As I read the article, though, I definitely related to her on some issues, especially as we try to live up to the physical female expectations of our bodies.
But, as many people mentioned in the comments of a couple of the sites hosting this article, she definitely lets the condition affect her own dating perception, just as I let my own transsexual status affect mine. There is even a comment from another transsexual on the Marie Claire site that I found particularly interesting.
The hard part with all of it is being secure with our own situations and feeling comfortable enough with potential dateables to let them in on some of our more personal characteristics.
In the article, a woman with a disfiguring condition discusses her dating situation. When I first read the title, the thought of my own situation definitely ran through my mind. As I read the article, though, I definitely related to her on some issues, especially as we try to live up to the physical female expectations of our bodies.
But, as many people mentioned in the comments of a couple of the sites hosting this article, she definitely lets the condition affect her own dating perception, just as I let my own transsexual status affect mine. There is even a comment from another transsexual on the Marie Claire site that I found particularly interesting.
The hard part with all of it is being secure with our own situations and feeling comfortable enough with potential dateables to let them in on some of our more personal characteristics.
Friday, May 01, 2009
Lost
The radio alarm awoke me from my slumber this morning, and I had no idea what day it was. Was it Saturday, or was it Friday?
Darn...it's Friday. I need to go to work.
The past 12 days have been a whirlwind of activity. And if, as some believe, brain exertion is just as taxing as physical exertion, then I am worn out. I'm fatigued. Tired. I've reached a state of decreased mental consciousness.
And it's not from spending 7 of the past 10 work days at a vendor. It's not from the 2-hour 1-way drive to the vendor. It's not the project whose cryptic data leads us in circles around our minds.
It's a combination of all of it, combined with all of life's little worries.
I'm lost. Usually I'm a problem solver. And I'm a pretty good one. It's what I know I'm good at. I can look at a problem, figure out why it's a problem, come up with different ways to systematically solve it, and then figure out how to prevent it from happening again.
And, this one, well, this one seems to defy logic. It sends us one way, we get there, and then it sends us off in another direction. The current noise oscillates outside the data stream, causing us to run off every which way like a 5 year old girl chasing a puppy. Except it's not a puppy. It's Cujo.
I'm tired.
Even though I had a guy over to my place the other night who likes me, and I said he could crash at my place, I told him I needed to get some sleep because I had to get up early the next morning to be on the road at my vendor. All I could think about was sleep...crawling into my bed and just not thinking about anything.
And, so, when I stepped outside my apartment this morning, I noticed the soft rain falling from the gray gloomy sky above. I totally drove to work on auto-pilot.
At work, my boss and I finally had our little quarterly one-on-one where he told me, although I am still doing a good job, I haven't been assertive enough in my daily meeting with the vendor.
Assertiveness hasn't been one of my strongest points...especially when I am tired. It's also hard when the project leader and your boss attend the meeting in order to further drive actions as this one item becomes the major sticking point. My authority extends only so far, and beyond that I have to rely on those above me. When they participate in the meeting, it's hard to not take on a less assertive role. And I wonder if the less assertive observation is in reference to who and what I was. I may have looked like a guy, but inside I was still a fragile little girl. If they expect the assertiveness of the man I was and not the woman I am, then I may seem even less assertive.
Either way, I'm tired, and could really use a few days to sleep. And not drive. And to not think about any of it.
Darn...it's Friday. I need to go to work.
The past 12 days have been a whirlwind of activity. And if, as some believe, brain exertion is just as taxing as physical exertion, then I am worn out. I'm fatigued. Tired. I've reached a state of decreased mental consciousness.
And it's not from spending 7 of the past 10 work days at a vendor. It's not from the 2-hour 1-way drive to the vendor. It's not the project whose cryptic data leads us in circles around our minds.
It's a combination of all of it, combined with all of life's little worries.
I'm lost. Usually I'm a problem solver. And I'm a pretty good one. It's what I know I'm good at. I can look at a problem, figure out why it's a problem, come up with different ways to systematically solve it, and then figure out how to prevent it from happening again.
And, this one, well, this one seems to defy logic. It sends us one way, we get there, and then it sends us off in another direction. The current noise oscillates outside the data stream, causing us to run off every which way like a 5 year old girl chasing a puppy. Except it's not a puppy. It's Cujo.
I'm tired.
Even though I had a guy over to my place the other night who likes me, and I said he could crash at my place, I told him I needed to get some sleep because I had to get up early the next morning to be on the road at my vendor. All I could think about was sleep...crawling into my bed and just not thinking about anything.
And, so, when I stepped outside my apartment this morning, I noticed the soft rain falling from the gray gloomy sky above. I totally drove to work on auto-pilot.
At work, my boss and I finally had our little quarterly one-on-one where he told me, although I am still doing a good job, I haven't been assertive enough in my daily meeting with the vendor.
Assertiveness hasn't been one of my strongest points...especially when I am tired. It's also hard when the project leader and your boss attend the meeting in order to further drive actions as this one item becomes the major sticking point. My authority extends only so far, and beyond that I have to rely on those above me. When they participate in the meeting, it's hard to not take on a less assertive role. And I wonder if the less assertive observation is in reference to who and what I was. I may have looked like a guy, but inside I was still a fragile little girl. If they expect the assertiveness of the man I was and not the woman I am, then I may seem even less assertive.
Either way, I'm tired, and could really use a few days to sleep. And not drive. And to not think about any of it.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
A new Kara on the scene
I saw her on TV and totally fell in love.
She ran across my screen and dashed into my heart. Her name is Kara Goucher and she placed 3rd in today's Boston Marathon.
And she's hot.
Don't be surprised if you see her name a little more often now.
I totally forgot that today was the Boston Marathon, but I caught the highlights tonight on the news. Today was also the 10th anniversary of Columbine. I happened to be sick that day and spent the entire day on the couch in my pajamas watching the affair unfold on live TV. It was such a tragic event.
Another year, I found myself at home with food poisoning, and yet again curled up on the couch watching TV. I think it was the only time I have been able to watch almost the entire Boston Marathon. Before moving to California, I used to race home for lunch just to watch the winners cross the finish line. The three hour time difference has prevented that from happening since.
Perhaps that will change now that America has a new gal to root for.
Of course, she broke my heart when I saw the big rock on her finger...but I totally understand the emotions she is going through right after the race.
She came so close to winning, and was right there to see the winners just ahead of her. I'll still be rooting for her in the future...even if she does like guys.
She ran across my screen and dashed into my heart. Her name is Kara Goucher and she placed 3rd in today's Boston Marathon. And she's hot.
Don't be surprised if you see her name a little more often now.
I totally forgot that today was the Boston Marathon, but I caught the highlights tonight on the news. Today was also the 10th anniversary of Columbine. I happened to be sick that day and spent the entire day on the couch in my pajamas watching the affair unfold on live TV. It was such a tragic event.
Another year, I found myself at home with food poisoning, and yet again curled up on the couch watching TV. I think it was the only time I have been able to watch almost the entire Boston Marathon. Before moving to California, I used to race home for lunch just to watch the winners cross the finish line. The three hour time difference has prevented that from happening since.
Perhaps that will change now that America has a new gal to root for.
Of course, she broke my heart when I saw the big rock on her finger...but I totally understand the emotions she is going through right after the race.She came so close to winning, and was right there to see the winners just ahead of her. I'll still be rooting for her in the future...even if she does like guys.
Friday, April 10, 2009
2009 Transgender Leadership Conference
I have attended a variety of different conferences throughout my life. The first one on my own was the Hugh O’Brien Leadership Conference when I was between my sophomore and junior year. I was the only representative for my high school. A girl from the grade ahead of me who had attended the previous year was one of the counselors. She and I had also kinda dated on and off for a while. I’ll admit, I went in unsure of what I was doing there. I wasn’t sure what to expect at the conference, either.
The following year, I went to Missouri’s Boy’s State...a political model acted out by high school males. I would equate it to a conference on who had the larger penis, without the mess of getting naked, nor the act of violence.. I was one of two from my high school who participated, and perhaps that experience alone made me realize I had no business in politics. Also, I was the lamb thrown in with the lions, a girl amongst a tidal wave of testosterone. I did have fun with the sports we participated in there, though, and I met a lot of new people. Upon reflection, I remember one feminine quiet guy...I wonder what happened to him.
I was never aggressive as a kid. I was the one in study hall that actually studied, ran off to the library, or slept. OK, I ran off to the library more than anything. Instead of study hall, it should have been called Library Hour. I’m sure in one of my trips to the library, I wandered through the forty-pound dictionary and found the word transsexual. I probably put it in the same vault as fairies and leprechauns. No one would ever change sexes.
And, yet, some twenty odd years later, I attended the 2009 Transgender Leadership Conference. Last year was my first time, which happened to be local to me in Berkeley. This year, San Diego played host. Luckily for me, I have family in San Diego...and was able hang out with them a bit. My uncle, who is only 10 years older than me, his wife, a mere 3-4 years older than me, and their son, my cousin, who is headed off to college later this year, are a total blast to hang out with.
I flew in Friday morning and caught up with my aunt and uncle. I was able to chat one on one with them while the other was off at their appropriate appointments that day. It was actually really nice being able to just chill with them. When my little cousin got home from school, he, my uncle, and I jammed on Rock Band for a few sessions. OK, I just tried to stay up on Medium while both of them rocked out on Expert.
After bringing down the house, I headed over to UC San Diego for the Friday introduction to the conference. I met up with Ally, Lisa, and Bonnie, who all drove down from San Francisco. I saw a number of other familiar faces, as well, along with a lot of new faces.
Saturday started off with the first main plenary, as Masen Davis provided the first look at their transgender survey results (summary available here). It’s incredible data, and I hope TLC will move forward with gathering more info. There are some very obvious results, and some shocking ones, as well.
The first class sessions started shortly after the morning plenary. A number of us from TGSF headed off to the Lobby 101 session in what looked to be one of the better classes for the first time slot. It turned out so well, I came back for the second class after lunch.
I bounced around a few classes during the third time slot until I found the Beyond Jerry Springer session. It was entertaining, and actually led to some interesting discussions about how transgender people are portrayed on the screen.
Mara Keisling and Ms. Major delivered the evening plenary, which contained some very lively vocabulary. Mara has to be one of my favorite speakers at both leadership conferences I have attended. While she gives a great update on the current affairs in DC, she is also very entertaining.
Mara (not pronounced like Kara) told us that Alzheimers runs in her family. From what it sounds like, Mara’s sister is also a good kidder...just like Mara. Her sister joked that Mara’s future included her screaming “I want to transition” and “Who stole my penis?” I have to admit, I totally laughed my ass off.
After that plenary, a number of us were off to the Transgender Law Center’s fundraiser and then over to the San Diego LGBT Center for the night activities. My aunt and uncle were in the area, so I was lucky enough to have them drop by so I could introduce them to a lot of my friends, and my friends to them. I then jaunted off with them for a little dancing at a spot in the very posh La Jolla downtown.
Since I’m not religious, I skipped the early Sunday morning plenary focused on religion, but caught the final plenary which included San Francisco local, Cecilia Chung. I consider her one of my big trans-sisters, especially with how active she is here in the Bay Area.
Over the weekend, I’ll admit that I ran into a number of people that I was attracted to. There was a guy in the Lobbying 101 session who I thought might be pre-transition, but he turned out to be a recently transitioned FTM...and probably a bit too young.
And then there was this guy I saw at the LGBT Center. Cute, tallish...well, taller than me, and nicely built. I asked one guy who he was, and got a name. Later, I introduced myself and we chatted briefly. The guy who I initially asked later came up to me and asked if he wanted him to introduce me, and I told him I already took care of it.
I ended up introducing myself to a lot of new people at the conference, and found it was a great way to network and meet new people. It's amazing how easy it is now to just walk up, say hi, introduce myself...and get a conversation going.
I ran into the guy again Sunday morning, and he told me he had been looking around for me. Ahhh...so cute. It was unfortunate that we met so late into the weekend. In fact, we were basically the last two to leave as we wandered off to our separate vehicles after chatting for almost an hour.
I caught an early dinner with my relatives before almost missing my plane home. I even saw a number of leadership conference attendees on the flight home.
So, what about the guy, huh? Well, we’re still chatting here and there, but since he is in San Diego and I am in San Francisco, it makes it kinda hard. But who knows, our circles overlap here and there.
The following year, I went to Missouri’s Boy’s State...a political model acted out by high school males. I would equate it to a conference on who had the larger penis, without the mess of getting naked, nor the act of violence.. I was one of two from my high school who participated, and perhaps that experience alone made me realize I had no business in politics. Also, I was the lamb thrown in with the lions, a girl amongst a tidal wave of testosterone. I did have fun with the sports we participated in there, though, and I met a lot of new people. Upon reflection, I remember one feminine quiet guy...I wonder what happened to him.
I was never aggressive as a kid. I was the one in study hall that actually studied, ran off to the library, or slept. OK, I ran off to the library more than anything. Instead of study hall, it should have been called Library Hour. I’m sure in one of my trips to the library, I wandered through the forty-pound dictionary and found the word transsexual. I probably put it in the same vault as fairies and leprechauns. No one would ever change sexes.
And, yet, some twenty odd years later, I attended the 2009 Transgender Leadership Conference. Last year was my first time, which happened to be local to me in Berkeley. This year, San Diego played host. Luckily for me, I have family in San Diego...and was able hang out with them a bit. My uncle, who is only 10 years older than me, his wife, a mere 3-4 years older than me, and their son, my cousin, who is headed off to college later this year, are a total blast to hang out with.
I flew in Friday morning and caught up with my aunt and uncle. I was able to chat one on one with them while the other was off at their appropriate appointments that day. It was actually really nice being able to just chill with them. When my little cousin got home from school, he, my uncle, and I jammed on Rock Band for a few sessions. OK, I just tried to stay up on Medium while both of them rocked out on Expert.
After bringing down the house, I headed over to UC San Diego for the Friday introduction to the conference. I met up with Ally, Lisa, and Bonnie, who all drove down from San Francisco. I saw a number of other familiar faces, as well, along with a lot of new faces.
Saturday started off with the first main plenary, as Masen Davis provided the first look at their transgender survey results (summary available here). It’s incredible data, and I hope TLC will move forward with gathering more info. There are some very obvious results, and some shocking ones, as well.
The first class sessions started shortly after the morning plenary. A number of us from TGSF headed off to the Lobby 101 session in what looked to be one of the better classes for the first time slot. It turned out so well, I came back for the second class after lunch.
I bounced around a few classes during the third time slot until I found the Beyond Jerry Springer session. It was entertaining, and actually led to some interesting discussions about how transgender people are portrayed on the screen.
Mara Keisling and Ms. Major delivered the evening plenary, which contained some very lively vocabulary. Mara has to be one of my favorite speakers at both leadership conferences I have attended. While she gives a great update on the current affairs in DC, she is also very entertaining.
Mara (not pronounced like Kara) told us that Alzheimers runs in her family. From what it sounds like, Mara’s sister is also a good kidder...just like Mara. Her sister joked that Mara’s future included her screaming “I want to transition” and “Who stole my penis?” I have to admit, I totally laughed my ass off.
After that plenary, a number of us were off to the Transgender Law Center’s fundraiser and then over to the San Diego LGBT Center for the night activities. My aunt and uncle were in the area, so I was lucky enough to have them drop by so I could introduce them to a lot of my friends, and my friends to them. I then jaunted off with them for a little dancing at a spot in the very posh La Jolla downtown.
Since I’m not religious, I skipped the early Sunday morning plenary focused on religion, but caught the final plenary which included San Francisco local, Cecilia Chung. I consider her one of my big trans-sisters, especially with how active she is here in the Bay Area.
Over the weekend, I’ll admit that I ran into a number of people that I was attracted to. There was a guy in the Lobbying 101 session who I thought might be pre-transition, but he turned out to be a recently transitioned FTM...and probably a bit too young.
And then there was this guy I saw at the LGBT Center. Cute, tallish...well, taller than me, and nicely built. I asked one guy who he was, and got a name. Later, I introduced myself and we chatted briefly. The guy who I initially asked later came up to me and asked if he wanted him to introduce me, and I told him I already took care of it.
I ended up introducing myself to a lot of new people at the conference, and found it was a great way to network and meet new people. It's amazing how easy it is now to just walk up, say hi, introduce myself...and get a conversation going.
I ran into the guy again Sunday morning, and he told me he had been looking around for me. Ahhh...so cute. It was unfortunate that we met so late into the weekend. In fact, we were basically the last two to leave as we wandered off to our separate vehicles after chatting for almost an hour.
I caught an early dinner with my relatives before almost missing my plane home. I even saw a number of leadership conference attendees on the flight home.
So, what about the guy, huh? Well, we’re still chatting here and there, but since he is in San Diego and I am in San Francisco, it makes it kinda hard. But who knows, our circles overlap here and there.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Gender Diversity of a different degree
A week and a half ago, I was at the San Jose Coronation. I hung out with the usual crowd of Ally, Lisa, and Carol. During the evening, Ally and I talked a bit...especially about the crowd and our observations.
The two girls that won Co-Empress of San Jose are fairly femme. They look fabulous as seen in this photo, and, well, they seem to have a slightly different gender expression than your typical drag queen. There were also a few others in the crowd that showed slightly different drag qualities, and more regular femme qualities.
Ally called it gender diversity.
I like it. I mean, it seems like a person would be very secure with themselves to even present with gender diversity.
What is gender diversity? It's kinda hard to explain, but there are fairly distinct qualities to being a drag queen or a gay man. Drag queens in themselves have gender diversity, but there are some that do drag quite well such that the dramatized quality of it is almost absent, and a more femme quality is present. I suppose this could also be said of drag kings.
Anyway, this gender diversity deals more with a person expressing a security around different gender presentations.
As Ally and I conversed further, we talked about a number of people that expressed gender diversity. Most often, we noticed that there are some gay boys that show this quality. A few seem fairly comfortable and quite natural as women, but they are also quite comfortable being gay men. Well, they seem to be.
Perhaps it is a stage toward self acceptance, or perhaps it is just a variety of gender that does not need labels...other than to say some people are more gender diverse than others.
The two girls that won Co-Empress of San Jose are fairly femme. They look fabulous as seen in this photo, and, well, they seem to have a slightly different gender expression than your typical drag queen. There were also a few others in the crowd that showed slightly different drag qualities, and more regular femme qualities.Ally called it gender diversity.
I like it. I mean, it seems like a person would be very secure with themselves to even present with gender diversity.
What is gender diversity? It's kinda hard to explain, but there are fairly distinct qualities to being a drag queen or a gay man. Drag queens in themselves have gender diversity, but there are some that do drag quite well such that the dramatized quality of it is almost absent, and a more femme quality is present. I suppose this could also be said of drag kings.
Anyway, this gender diversity deals more with a person expressing a security around different gender presentations.
As Ally and I conversed further, we talked about a number of people that expressed gender diversity. Most often, we noticed that there are some gay boys that show this quality. A few seem fairly comfortable and quite natural as women, but they are also quite comfortable being gay men. Well, they seem to be.
Perhaps it is a stage toward self acceptance, or perhaps it is just a variety of gender that does not need labels...other than to say some people are more gender diverse than others.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
More women playing men
Today's movie news:
'Twilight' Star Nikki Reed To Play Transgender Woman In 'K-11'
Sigh...two more women playing men playing women.
It seems like basic knowledge that a transsexual would probably play a transsexual best. Instead, it looks like they will have a pair of attractive women playing the down and out transsexuals.
If you look back at movie history, you rarely see men playing very passable transsexuals. They always throw women in the role if they are looking for the shocking "she was born a man" scenario. It happened in Ace Ventura, and Nip/Tuck, and TransAmerica. When a man plays the role, it seems like it's more for slapstick or chills...Tootsie, Silence of the Lambs, To Wong Fu, Dressed to Kill, etc. The only one that kinda falls out of that is The Crying Game...where a man did a pretty decent job of playing a MTF transsexual, and perhaps Boys Don't Cry...where a woman played a woman becoming a man. OK, OK, they did a decent job with TransAmerica. I've heard rumors about Southern Comfort, but haven't seen anything further on it.
Anyway, I wonder when we will finally see a transsexual in a major film role.
'Twilight' Star Nikki Reed To Play Transgender Woman In 'K-11'
Sigh...two more women playing men playing women.
It seems like basic knowledge that a transsexual would probably play a transsexual best. Instead, it looks like they will have a pair of attractive women playing the down and out transsexuals.
If you look back at movie history, you rarely see men playing very passable transsexuals. They always throw women in the role if they are looking for the shocking "she was born a man" scenario. It happened in Ace Ventura, and Nip/Tuck, and TransAmerica. When a man plays the role, it seems like it's more for slapstick or chills...Tootsie, Silence of the Lambs, To Wong Fu, Dressed to Kill, etc. The only one that kinda falls out of that is The Crying Game...where a man did a pretty decent job of playing a MTF transsexual, and perhaps Boys Don't Cry...where a woman played a woman becoming a man. OK, OK, they did a decent job with TransAmerica. I've heard rumors about Southern Comfort, but haven't seen anything further on it.
Anyway, I wonder when we will finally see a transsexual in a major film role.
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