Thursday, October 07, 2004

Beneath the Planet of the Kate's

I stopped by the hospital tonight to check in on Kate. She was garnished with the usual bandages when I arrived at her room, but surprisingly, she was quite conscious.

She was in the same room that I was in; the same room that Claire stayed in. When I dipped into the bathroom to get out of the way of the nurses, I spotted myself in the mirror...the same mirror I looked at myself post FFS for the first time. I hadn’t looked in this mirror since then. It was eerie revisiting a path I took what seems like ages ago - yet, just 8 months have passed.

To be honest, when Spock, Captain Kirk, and Bones debated if “life is but a dream” throughout the quite horrible Star Trek 5, I always kinda thought it was sort of a stupid conversation. But the more I live my life, I’ve come to realize that life is more a dream than anything else. We only exist in the present which comes and goes, leaving only our memories as a record of the past. The past tends to fade, and soon, it becomes simply a dream.

FFS almost seems like a dream now. It’s sorta weird seeing old pictures of me, simply because I have become used to seeing me now...and not as someone that I wasn’t. The memories of what I went through - of staying in the room that Kate now resides in, of seeing my new, yet very swollen, face for the first time - seem distant. And one day, this entry will be but another dream. And then, one day, my whole life...just a dream. And then someone else will dream until all of the dreams are dreamt. Row, row, row your boat......

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