Earlier this week, my blog disappeared for about a day. Google (which owns Blogger) determined that my blog was a spam blog and pulled it from the web.
This is the second time this has happened, and to be honest, I'd prefer that it not happen again. It would be nice if they would tell me how their bots determined I was a spam blog so that I could rectify the situation instead of just having me tell them that I am a real person.
Sigh.
I have some free time coming up...I'll probably end up finally putting the remainder of my old site up here. While I'm at it, I'll probably look over the entries and see which links are good and which ones aren't. (I feel like Santa.)
I have a number of tech savvy friends...I should ask them why Google is giving me such a hard time.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Losing more teammates
I don't post to Facebook what I am doing every 20 minutes, but I will post once in a while, and I do end up looking at some stuff that other people post. Recently, one of my teammates changed their listed name...from a female name to a masculine name.
Now, I've seen their name the new way for a few weeks, and while I didn't say anything up front, I finally sent a note asking about the name change.
Sure enough, I've now lost two teammates inside the past 8 months. The previous one I found out last November.
To be honest, neither of their transitions is a surprise, and from what I have seen, most people that knew them aren't surprised either. It's almost as though it was seen as the logical step for both of them. In fact, it almost seems opposite to the reaction of MTF's where people seem to wonder why we would do such a thing...to go from being a powerful man to a weak woman.
And that's when I realize that most people that view transition from the outside never seem to see the gender identity dysphoria...they see it as a much larger gender flop. They see MTF's losing their penis, and FTM's gaining male privilege.
It's too bad that most of the population never sees the inner peace, the glowing resolution, or the victory of reaching an almost unreachable goal. They never see us land on the moon.
And so, when my friend took his first steps as a man...his giant leaps to mankind, I made sure to acknowledge his journey. I found out about his transition about a month ago and I tried to hook up with him during Pride, but it never worked out. He and I connected well as teammates, so much that I called him my twin the past few years. In a way, I guess we are.
It's kinda ironic that I ran into my other former teammate a week after Pride. Claire was in town, and the old gang got together for some activities...one of which included a stopover in a lesbian bar. As we were gathered in one area, I noticed my former teammate sitting at a table. After ordering a drink, I stopped by to say hi.
As I did, he stood up and we conversed. I asked him how he was doing, and he said things were going well. After a few seconds, he paused.
"So...I have to ask...I heard...are...are you MTF?"
"Who told you that?"
"Uh...I heard a rumor."
At this point, I'm kinda stuck. There is no use denying it, because, well, I am MTF...and even if I did, I'm sure it would come back to bite me in the arse somehow. Plus, I have always kinda said that if someone asked me if I was a transsexual, I wouldn't lie.
"Yeah. I am."
"Wow. I never would have thought."
And so the conversation went. We talked about some of our past dealings with the teams, and how one of our previous coaches was interested in having him play as a woman even though he was on testosterone. He even asked if I had dated FTM's in the past. He felt that his dating options were far less as an FTM than as a lesbian, but he also mentioned that he, like many transsexuals, found himself more open to dating a variety of genders.
I have no idea how he found out, nor who told him, but it's likely that through our many transsexual channels, someone passed along the knowledge that there was another transsexual playing. I knew that as time went on, more people would likely know, but I still plan on playing by the "don't ask, don't tell" policy...until I see that the policy is accepting. Actually, from what I have seen since my two teammates jumped the fence, they may allow transsexuals to play...perhaps both MTF and FTM, but I need to see how it all falls together. This gives me investigative options, though, by seeing if my two friends are still eligible to play or not.
The policy may be the least of my worries, though, since I may find most of the resistance from my own teammates. I've never told any of them, outside of one. They may look at it as a trust issue, or they may not want me in the locker room. Who knows. Either way, I hope they will be able to see it from my point of view.
Now, I've seen their name the new way for a few weeks, and while I didn't say anything up front, I finally sent a note asking about the name change.
Sure enough, I've now lost two teammates inside the past 8 months. The previous one I found out last November.
To be honest, neither of their transitions is a surprise, and from what I have seen, most people that knew them aren't surprised either. It's almost as though it was seen as the logical step for both of them. In fact, it almost seems opposite to the reaction of MTF's where people seem to wonder why we would do such a thing...to go from being a powerful man to a weak woman.
And that's when I realize that most people that view transition from the outside never seem to see the gender identity dysphoria...they see it as a much larger gender flop. They see MTF's losing their penis, and FTM's gaining male privilege.
It's too bad that most of the population never sees the inner peace, the glowing resolution, or the victory of reaching an almost unreachable goal. They never see us land on the moon.
And so, when my friend took his first steps as a man...his giant leaps to mankind, I made sure to acknowledge his journey. I found out about his transition about a month ago and I tried to hook up with him during Pride, but it never worked out. He and I connected well as teammates, so much that I called him my twin the past few years. In a way, I guess we are.
It's kinda ironic that I ran into my other former teammate a week after Pride. Claire was in town, and the old gang got together for some activities...one of which included a stopover in a lesbian bar. As we were gathered in one area, I noticed my former teammate sitting at a table. After ordering a drink, I stopped by to say hi.
As I did, he stood up and we conversed. I asked him how he was doing, and he said things were going well. After a few seconds, he paused.
"So...I have to ask...I heard...are...are you MTF?"
"Who told you that?"
"Uh...I heard a rumor."
At this point, I'm kinda stuck. There is no use denying it, because, well, I am MTF...and even if I did, I'm sure it would come back to bite me in the arse somehow. Plus, I have always kinda said that if someone asked me if I was a transsexual, I wouldn't lie.
"Yeah. I am."
"Wow. I never would have thought."
And so the conversation went. We talked about some of our past dealings with the teams, and how one of our previous coaches was interested in having him play as a woman even though he was on testosterone. He even asked if I had dated FTM's in the past. He felt that his dating options were far less as an FTM than as a lesbian, but he also mentioned that he, like many transsexuals, found himself more open to dating a variety of genders.
I have no idea how he found out, nor who told him, but it's likely that through our many transsexual channels, someone passed along the knowledge that there was another transsexual playing. I knew that as time went on, more people would likely know, but I still plan on playing by the "don't ask, don't tell" policy...until I see that the policy is accepting. Actually, from what I have seen since my two teammates jumped the fence, they may allow transsexuals to play...perhaps both MTF and FTM, but I need to see how it all falls together. This gives me investigative options, though, by seeing if my two friends are still eligible to play or not.
The policy may be the least of my worries, though, since I may find most of the resistance from my own teammates. I've never told any of them, outside of one. They may look at it as a trust issue, or they may not want me in the locker room. Who knows. Either way, I hope they will be able to see it from my point of view.
Friday, July 03, 2009
San Francisco Pride 2009
I'm a bit late with this entry, but it's been a busy few weeks. San Francisco Pride 2009 was its usual busy event with the Trans March kicking off the official festivities last Friday night.
There were a number of big names in the Trans World that spoke at the pre-march, including Andrea James and Cecilia Chung. I walked with a few friends to a spot where the march just seemed to end. I'd heard the joke that it was a circle, but we didn't even make it back to the start...so, the gang just wandered off to dinner.
On Saturday, I chilled until heading over to the Dyke March. I met up with a friend and we wandered back and forth between friends before finally marching along with all the lesbians.
Sigh...I love lesbians.
I made semi-reservations at one of the restaurants in the Castro earlier in the week so that we wouldn't have to fight the lines to eat. Luckily, we slipped right in before all the crowds hit. After being there for a bit, I saw one guy sitting across from us that I recognized.
"Hey Carissa...recognize that guy over there?"
He was the brother from Prodigal Sons...the trans-themed movie Carissa and I had seen earlier in the week. I then noticed Kim and her mom sitting at the other end of their table and thought it an interesting coincidence to see them here.
I was hoping to chat briefly with Kim after their movie had aired on Wednesday, but there were so many people in that part of the theater, and we were so far back, that it would have been almost impossible to reach her. So, we waited until they were about to leave to approach, and then mention how much we loved the film. We were even able to capture a photo with them before everyone filtered back into the crowded streets of Pink Saturday.
Sunday morning came all too fast, and before I knew it, the San Francisco 2009 Pride Parade was underway. I rode the TGSF float designed and built by a variety of the officers of Transgender San Francisco. Not many floats can claim to have been built by their organization, but we did. Ally, Lisa, Bonnie and crew did a fantastic job putting it all together. I was able to get in a few hours on construction, and even spent about 15 minutes wedged in the inner workings of the base while securing the handrails. I actually had a little trouble with my boobs fitting over the support system that held it all together.
The float was built on the concept of an all inclusive ENDA. Some of the remaining classes that do not enjoy federal protection include transgender people...which were thrown to the side in the previous attempt to get ENDA through our national government. The push now is to have an all inclusive ENDA to protect not only gay and lesbian people, but also transgender people as well.
As seen recently with the Sacramento radio station controversy, we may be a very small minority, but we can still pack a punch. I didn't have too much time to write about it and I have yet to listen to their apology show, but I caught some of the initial stuff on Facebook and responded before GLAAD sent out their mass action email.
And I think we are seeing the transgender power coming through with ENDA now. HRC seems to have seen how powerful the transgender side can be (but I still haven't given them any money).
I had a really nice time riding and waving to the crowd as we rolled along Market street. Both of my arms became tired with the waving and operating of the "hammer" on the wall. Luckily, Lisa is a scrappy little fighter, and was able to keep the hammer going for quite a while...well after my arm had started to give out.
I spent a bit more time at the parade and hanging out with a friend before finally crashing back at my place for some rest. Pride is a pretty busy weekend, and it's hard managing enough energy to make it all the way through Sunday afternoon. This was also kind of a special year for me since I finally rode the float as Ms. Transgender San Francisco 2009...which probably helped provide more energy for the weekend.
Edit: Here's another photo from the parade...or, well, right before the parade. I was able to get a picture with Andrea James and Calpernia Addams, who were up from LA for San Francisco Pride.
There were a number of big names in the Trans World that spoke at the pre-march, including Andrea James and Cecilia Chung. I walked with a few friends to a spot where the march just seemed to end. I'd heard the joke that it was a circle, but we didn't even make it back to the start...so, the gang just wandered off to dinner.
On Saturday, I chilled until heading over to the Dyke March. I met up with a friend and we wandered back and forth between friends before finally marching along with all the lesbians.
Sigh...I love lesbians.
I made semi-reservations at one of the restaurants in the Castro earlier in the week so that we wouldn't have to fight the lines to eat. Luckily, we slipped right in before all the crowds hit. After being there for a bit, I saw one guy sitting across from us that I recognized.
"Hey Carissa...recognize that guy over there?"
He was the brother from Prodigal Sons...the trans-themed movie Carissa and I had seen earlier in the week. I then noticed Kim and her mom sitting at the other end of their table and thought it an interesting coincidence to see them here.
I was hoping to chat briefly with Kim after their movie had aired on Wednesday, but there were so many people in that part of the theater, and we were so far back, that it would have been almost impossible to reach her. So, we waited until they were about to leave to approach, and then mention how much we loved the film. We were even able to capture a photo with them before everyone filtered back into the crowded streets of Pink Saturday. Sunday morning came all too fast, and before I knew it, the San Francisco 2009 Pride Parade was underway. I rode the TGSF float designed and built by a variety of the officers of Transgender San Francisco. Not many floats can claim to have been built by their organization, but we did. Ally, Lisa, Bonnie and crew did a fantastic job putting it all together. I was able to get in a few hours on construction, and even spent about 15 minutes wedged in the inner workings of the base while securing the handrails. I actually had a little trouble with my boobs fitting over the support system that held it all together.
The float was built on the concept of an all inclusive ENDA. Some of the remaining classes that do not enjoy federal protection include transgender people...which were thrown to the side in the previous attempt to get ENDA through our national government. The push now is to have an all inclusive ENDA to protect not only gay and lesbian people, but also transgender people as well.As seen recently with the Sacramento radio station controversy, we may be a very small minority, but we can still pack a punch. I didn't have too much time to write about it and I have yet to listen to their apology show, but I caught some of the initial stuff on Facebook and responded before GLAAD sent out their mass action email.
And I think we are seeing the transgender power coming through with ENDA now. HRC seems to have seen how powerful the transgender side can be (but I still haven't given them any money).
I had a really nice time riding and waving to the crowd as we rolled along Market street. Both of my arms became tired with the waving and operating of the "hammer" on the wall. Luckily, Lisa is a scrappy little fighter, and was able to keep the hammer going for quite a while...well after my arm had started to give out.I spent a bit more time at the parade and hanging out with a friend before finally crashing back at my place for some rest. Pride is a pretty busy weekend, and it's hard managing enough energy to make it all the way through Sunday afternoon. This was also kind of a special year for me since I finally rode the float as Ms. Transgender San Francisco 2009...which probably helped provide more energy for the weekend.
Edit: Here's another photo from the parade...or, well, right before the parade. I was able to get a picture with Andrea James and Calpernia Addams, who were up from LA for San Francisco Pride.
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