A Gay Old Time

Another Pride weekend has come and gone. It was packed with tons of activities, which started off with the Trans March Friday evening. I met up with a few friends there, hung out, walked around with a bucket taking donations, and then brought up the rear of the march with Safety Kurt. It's the second year in a row that we've brought up the rear.

The entertainment for the Trans March...hmmm...well, let's see...how do I put this. It wasn't my flavor of entertainment. There was a distinct punk tint to most of it...that, and the usual woe-is-me tranny speech or two. I don't think I heard any 'I have a dream' type speeches, or positive aspect speeches. It all comes down to 'he wouldn't respect me or fuck me cuz I have a penis' type speeches. Sorry...that's just the way I'm going to describe it because that's how it hits you. Of course, I didn't catch the entire afternoon of activities, so I can't really talk about all of it...only the parts I caught. And, I dunno....I'm just not big on lip synching...on either side or between fences. I just find it boring.

The organizers can only do so much, though, because there typically aren't very many sponsors for T stuff. The advertisers are just now tapping into the last big 10% by hitting gay and lesbian stuff...do they really want to throw that much money into the 0.04% transgender population?

On Saturday, I hung out with some teammates at the Dyke March before some transgender friends joined me there. I think I previously mentioned that worlds would collide this weekend...and they finally did. And, so far, it hasn't really been that bad.

Here's the thing...I think a lot of transgender people that live stealth or something close, worry that knowing a transgender person or introducing a transgender person to their own friends, will out them as a transgender person, too. But in fact, as we walked along in the Dyke March, one of my transgender friends knew plenty of non-transgender friends...and greeted them along the way with hugs and hellos. One can be transgender and living fairly stealth, and still have transgender friends.

I guess some of us want to put it entirely out of our minds...that anything transgender related will either out us or remind us of our own past. But ya know, they are my friends, and I'm not gonna ditch them because I'm insecure about who I am.

This was my first time for such an occurrence, so I will admit I was nervous. I pointed out my teammates to them and some of my teammates introduced themselves in return. My teammates are pretty cool, and were very warm. I totally love my teammates...they rock.

As we approached the Castro, I kinda ditched my teammates, though, since they most likely were just going to drink...and I was starting to get hungry. We had a 45 minute wait to get in, but we finally had a very nice dinner at Nirvana. Good food. If one is visiting the Castro, definitely give it a shot.

OK, so Sunday was the actual Pride parade. I was signed up to volunteer with TGSF, and worked the northern gate for a couple hours before Amy and Tiffany showed up. We walked around a bit...looking at the sites to behold, and the booths to visit. Tiffany snapped a few photos of the weekend, including one of yours truly during my little volunteer stint.

Since I rode public transit most of the weekend, and since MUNI was shut down at 10pm, I probably ended up walking quite a bit during the weekend. By Sunday evening, I was quite tired...evidence of a very eventful weekend.

Pride

Well, this weekend is one of the largest LGBT Pride events in the world...happening right here in my backyard. It kicks off Friday night with the T moving to the front of the TLGB pack with the 3rd Annual Trans March starting in Dolores Park. I'll be volunteering at the site and during the march, so say hey if anyone is around. Here's today's article on the Trans March and some of the people that will be participating. I spoke at the first march two years ago; and last year, I even noticed Morgan Freeman taping some of the activities.

Saturday is filled with a variety of activities, including the main pavillion areas. This is a good time to get around to the many different booths without actually fighting a majority of the crowds. I'm not sure if I'll be at the TGSF outreach booth that day, but I'll definitely be there on Sunday for a little bit.

Sunday is the parade. I won't be in it this year...it's just something I have done enough of in the past (my first was in 2002 after becoming an officer of TGSF)...why not let the newbies get their time in. Plus, they usually have trouble staffing the Outreach Booth while everyone else is on the float for the parade.

I'm sure there are plenty of events I'm not listing here, so check out www.sfpride.org for more details.

Summer Programming

Lifetime is airing the Gwen Araujo story tonite in a made-for-TV movie called "A Girl Like Me". From what I can tell, it's mainly going to deal with the family coming to grips with 'Eddie' becoming Gwen/Lida (I use two names because she was known as those names with different groups of people) and then conclude with her death.

I'm hoping this will be a very valuable movie, because it may, for once, deal more with the family's reaction to the transitioner, similar to what was partially seen in the movie Transamerica. The Transamerica reaction was, unfortunately, dramatized so that it all came down at once, but the Gwen Araujo story should show reactions over time. The stages of acceptance will probably be seen similar to the Denial-Anger-Bargaining-Depression-Acceptance line. It's also going to show the view of a young transitioner, and not only that, but someone that isn't white. In the LGBT world (I'm starting to use 'world' more so than 'community' since the word 'community' has become very construed and the word 'world' makes it sound more diverse), minorities seem very under-represented. A lot of people only see White gay America, and not Asian, Latino, or Black gay America. Of course, I also think that, unfortunately, many people within ethnic minorities, don't understand that the issue of 'coming out' has it's own problems regardless of race or culture. There are cultures that seem more tolerant of transitioners, but perhaps those strides are made when the LGBT world starts standing up for itself a little more.

Either way, I'm hoping this show will provide a real-life look at a young person going through transition and the obstacles one faces. It should provide a real life look at a family dealing with a very hard topic.

On a side note, the locker room, nor the hot-tub, happened this past weekend...setting up worlds to collide this coming weekend with San Francisco's Pride.

After our sporting event, a number of the teams gathered at a local gay bar to hang out. I noticed one young man playing pool. He didn't appear to be gay, and I kinda wondered why he was there. After hanging out with my team for a while, and following them back to the bar for 'refills', I motioned at the now empty pool table. None of them were really interested in playing, but the man who had been there before appeared and asked if I was interested in playing. I told him sure. We chatted for a little as we set up, and when he told me his name, I realized that he wasn't a he afterall...he was a she. She had a shaved head and basically no breasts. She looked like a guy. After we hung out for a while, I even asked her if she was mistaken as a guy that often. She said she was, but that she didn't mind. At that point, I seriously wanted to ask her if she thought about transitioning....but I didn't.

One of my teammates came up to me as we were playing and asked about 'him'. I said, "you mean, her?"

"Ohhhhh," they said, which was basically my same response.

R, as I will call her, and I chatted more throughout the evening. I could tell she had something for me, especially after telling me that there was something about my aura that she liked. Could she tell? Hard to say. But she might have picked up on some of my masculinity and just couldn't put her finger on what she was sensing. Or, she might have simply read me, and was politely trying to tell me such...in a way that she was also possibly T.

She gave me her phone number, and told me that she would be in San Francisco for Pride. I'm not sure I really want to get involved with her, though, since she had contacts with many of the teams we were playing...which could cause a whole other fiasco. I'm very hesitant about dating players on my own team...let alone those on other teams. I just don't want to bring any relationship drama to the playing field.

The Locker Room 2

My team is back on the road this weekend...and the locker room may come into play again. Not only that, but there may be a hot tub involved at some point. Oh well...ce la vie.

On a different note, today's 'Dear Abby' has a question brought to us by a man who's been told that the girl he likes used to be a man.

The question, as it's read, boils down to this: The girl I'm dating used to be a man...can I smash her face in?

Insane. But yet, this is a severe reality for some. Abby seems to have answered the transgender related question fairly well...something the crew behind DA has improved with over the years.

Hopefully my teammates don't have the same reaction if/when they ever know.

Jobs

A friend passed this information along to me and I figured it was worth posting. It's a job search for LGBT-friendly employers.

http://www.simplyhired.com/glbt

Thanks Becca.

Everyone was so tall

[Every time I've tried to log in to write and post this, blogspot was down...thus the post dated blog entry.]

The GLAAD Media Awards were held in San Francisco this past Saturday night. This was my first time attending such an event with a variety of stars. The screechy woman from Will and Grace was one of the hosts, Carson from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (they need a Queer Eye for the T Girl...seriously) popped in a few times, Jennifer Tilly received an award and hung out at the after party, and I even sat near Julie Newmar's table...and got a picture with her afterward (I'll put the picture up soon). One thing I noticed during the evening, though, was that there were a lot of tall people there. I think the lesbians, on average, were taller than the transsexual women.

Besides the 'stars', there were even a few T-stars, as well. Calpernia Addams presented one of the awards, and Andrea James, her business partner, accompanied her to San Francisco from Southern California. I hung out on a table hosted by a local T-woman who has been involved with GLAAD lately. Fortunately for myself and the rest of the people at the table, she bumped us up a notch so that we got VIP goodie bags and invites to the VIP after-party.

As the ceremony was closing, I said hi to Andrea and Calpernia. Most of my friends have met the two in the past, either with V-Day in 2004 or other activities related to it, but I never have. (I was laid up in Cocoon in case one hasn't been following along.)

Although there were numerous 'stars' there, I think Andrea was the biggest star to me. She has provided a lot of information on her website (www.tsroadmap.com)...information I have read over the years. I remember reading a lot of her stuff early on, which I think is valuable for anyone considering transition to at least scan over. There is so much that she (and others thru their own contributions) provide as insight from the other side. It's always good to get many perspectives on transition and take away the information you need.

At the VIP party, Carson and Jennifer hung out, as well as Esera Tuaolo, an ex-NFLer who came out as gay a few years ago. He started dancing near me, so I shook his hand and whispered to him that most of the women's sports (I've played) were basically the opposite...with most of the women assumed to be gay..and that the straight girls took most of the friendly banter from the gay girls.

The VIP party started wrapping up around midnight, so I said my good-byes and made my way home. I had to be up early the next morning for a game, then off to Jana's for another round of pictures. I made it to Santa Cruz by early afternoon, and had my clothes off for the pictures soon after. Yup, we took another round of nudes for Transfigurations: The Making of a Woman. She is likely to premiere the women's nude pictures in San Francisco in July, but wasn't sure if she could get this latest round in or not.

After the pictures, I wasn't feeling that well (something that had been hitting me on and off the past few days), so I drove home instead of dealing with the possibility of worlds colliding at San Jose's Pride...which shall have to wait until San Francisco's Pride later this month.

666

There's this whole thing about today being 6-6-06. Scary, huh?

While I was at lunch with L, I mentioned to him that I could totally freak someone out today (or any day, for that matter).

"How?" he asks.

"I could go into convulsions and then start speaking with my 'devil' voice....or I could be possessed by Homer Simpson....hahahahahahaha."

He didn't think it was very funny.

Pulling teeth

I usually don't mind talking to people about the T stuff, it's just there are some people with whom I'd rather not. I'm finding I am most uncomfortable chatting with people that knew me before transition...duh, right? I just have this feeling that they are looking on me as who I used to be, and not how I am now. Family members don't seem to fall in this since I see them a bit more often, but really, the only people I see on a regular basis are pretty much those that know me now. Sure, there are a few at work who knew me before, but the ones I chat with have been pretty cool with everything. I suppose the uncomfortable feelings originate with those that knew me before, but don't see me that often. The ones that see me often got over the whole novelty of my transition pretty fast.

I was at the dentist last week for my semi-annual checkup and cleaning. Initially, when I popped in there two years ago after going fulltime, the receptionist took one look at me when I walked in the door and basically said, "uugghhh...OK." She seemed unfazed and fairly supportive. By supportive, I guess I mean more affirming more than anything. She told me they had lesbian and gay patients, and were ok with everything.

She's right, I've been treated very fairly there. The dentist is very professional and we've chatted in general before. He doesn't ask about the T stuff, but he asks me how I'm doing and we've discussed some of the hardware that pops up on my X-rays.

After the cleaning, I made arrangements for my next appointment in 6 months. The receptionist was on the phone, but made gestures for me to wait a second. After ending the call, she pulls me to the side and tells me that when she was recently home in the Philippines, she ran into a childhood friend who had transitioned from male to female...like me. She had some surgeries and had fillers injected into her hips to look fuller. She said her friend was either getting married or was already married to a guy. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I basically mentioned that I was open to dating men or women. She thought I should only date a guy. A lot of people think transitioning is totally related to sexual orientation, and that's probably where a lot of people become confused.

Her initial response of, "Nahhh...you should get a man," along with her facial response led me to believe she needed me to date a man in order for her to see me as a woman....otherwise, I was just the man in a dress still dating women. After telling her that I was keeping my options open, I think she understood a little more of where I was coming from. I didn't have the time to explain to her that my attraction extends beyond gender and that society's heteronormative expectations are not going to hinder who I am attracted to. I think she was finally starting to see that not every transitioner is the same. I'll likely continue to see my dentist, but I didn't appreciate her disapproval of who I can or cannot date, no matter the degree. That's my life, and what I do with it is up to me.

On the positive side, no cavities.