Pulling teeth

I usually don't mind talking to people about the T stuff, it's just there are some people with whom I'd rather not. I'm finding I am most uncomfortable chatting with people that knew me before transition...duh, right? I just have this feeling that they are looking on me as who I used to be, and not how I am now. Family members don't seem to fall in this since I see them a bit more often, but really, the only people I see on a regular basis are pretty much those that know me now. Sure, there are a few at work who knew me before, but the ones I chat with have been pretty cool with everything. I suppose the uncomfortable feelings originate with those that knew me before, but don't see me that often. The ones that see me often got over the whole novelty of my transition pretty fast.

I was at the dentist last week for my semi-annual checkup and cleaning. Initially, when I popped in there two years ago after going fulltime, the receptionist took one look at me when I walked in the door and basically said, "uugghhh...OK." She seemed unfazed and fairly supportive. By supportive, I guess I mean more affirming more than anything. She told me they had lesbian and gay patients, and were ok with everything.

She's right, I've been treated very fairly there. The dentist is very professional and we've chatted in general before. He doesn't ask about the T stuff, but he asks me how I'm doing and we've discussed some of the hardware that pops up on my X-rays.

After the cleaning, I made arrangements for my next appointment in 6 months. The receptionist was on the phone, but made gestures for me to wait a second. After ending the call, she pulls me to the side and tells me that when she was recently home in the Philippines, she ran into a childhood friend who had transitioned from male to female...like me. She had some surgeries and had fillers injected into her hips to look fuller. She said her friend was either getting married or was already married to a guy. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I basically mentioned that I was open to dating men or women. She thought I should only date a guy. A lot of people think transitioning is totally related to sexual orientation, and that's probably where a lot of people become confused.

Her initial response of, "Nahhh...you should get a man," along with her facial response led me to believe she needed me to date a man in order for her to see me as a woman....otherwise, I was just the man in a dress still dating women. After telling her that I was keeping my options open, I think she understood a little more of where I was coming from. I didn't have the time to explain to her that my attraction extends beyond gender and that society's heteronormative expectations are not going to hinder who I am attracted to. I think she was finally starting to see that not every transitioner is the same. I'll likely continue to see my dentist, but I didn't appreciate her disapproval of who I can or cannot date, no matter the degree. That's my life, and what I do with it is up to me.

On the positive side, no cavities.