JoanB first brought it up several years ago...could we ever have dinner without talking about anything T related? We only get together for dinner once in a while, but when we do, it's usually a T friendly environment and eventually, the conversation leads to something T related.
In a unique set of circumstances, her friend is dating my friend, so we're now related via friends and friends of friends, even though her friend was my friend before my friend met her friend. Got it? Good.
So, anyway, one of the friends has a birthday dinner and both of us are invited. Some in the group have never been told about either of our situations, and there is really no need to disclose. Thus, we went the entire 3 course meal without talking about anything T related....
...well, except for the conversation started by someone else in the dinner party who was going to AsiaSF for a get together. We briefly talked about T stuff then (they wondered how some of the dancers were able to tuck it so well), but it was more from of a different perspective there.
JoanB and I sat at one table with two other women. I think the fact that they were dating one another didn't come up I had disclosed that I was queer in some manner. It's funny how secrets don't really come out until one person discloses something that gives the disclosure it's own sense of security.
Anyway, one of the women seemed really nice. She was sporty and seemed fairly level headed. The other, ehhh...she kinda rubbed me the wrong way. She wasn't that hard to deal with, though.
OK, follow with me here. I'm riding along a few weeks later with my friend who had the birthday party. It's a 3 hour drive to our sporting event. We chat off and on the entire way. One of the conversations leads to the birthday dinner we had, and how the one woman had kinda annoyed me a little. My friend says that isn't uncommon, and that she herself hasn't seen eye-to-eye on some things. She says her and her friend disagree on stuff...like transgender surgery.
Whoa...did you see that coming? Me neither.
My friend says she doesn't believe in transgender surgery, but the annoying one does. Wow, I'd have never thought that. She also isn't into plastic surgery...even though she knows I had a boob job.
To my knowledge, my friend does not know I am a transsexual. I don't think she would have said what she said had she known. I also think her opinion would change if I were to talk to her about what I have gone through. It's very hard to form an opinion about transgender stuff until you actually know someone who is transgender and has gone through transition.
I did let her know that not all transgender people have surgery, and that most insurances do not cover it...so it is being paid for by the transgender individual...but I doubt that changed her mind.
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At lunch one day, one of my coworkers (who doesn't know about me, but then I'm not out/haven't transitioned either) told us a story about he ran into a friend from college who was full time MTF and how freaked out he was about it. He then proceeded to explain in detail how it weirded him out and how he wouldn't be able to be friends or work with someone like that. Some of my other coworkers started talking about gender transition (and knew much more than I expected).
I didn't say a word, fearing I would reveal my first-hand experience.
I used to be nervous about it, too, but I've become much more secure in talking about stuff like that. I now even say that I know many T's and will try to enlighten people if I hear something bad or they state a misconception of some sort.
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