Authentikate

I still see a lot of people searching around for Kate's old site: Authentikate. It looks like it is now out of order, even though Kate still seems to own the domain name.

I caught up and followed her diary in the year before I went full time, although I was already headed down the road when I first started reading it. Yes, she was a huge inspiration for what I eventually did, especially when comparing her time line to my own. I did a few things differently based on my own judgments and the results of some of her own actions. Luckily for me, though, I did not "feel like butt" the night of FFS, or I simply cannot remember feeling like butt, BUT, I went in expecting to, based on what she wrote. What made her diary excel above others at that time was she wrote so clearly about experiences many of us went through.

So, if anyone is still searching for her delicious diary, it can be found on archive.org in a vast array of pieces.

UPDATE 28 NOV 2009: It appears that the archive.org version of Kate's old site is no longer available as well...so, those looking for any of her old reads will have to hope she posts them again some day.

How early?

There's a nice article on transgender teens from yesterday. It's the typical debate about how early to allow a child to start chemical aspects of transition. It appears more and more doctors are seeing the implications of transgender children dealing with their natural puberty. For some transgender children, going through it can be so painful that they end up choosing to end their lives.

I remember. It hurt going through puberty. I developed a mustache around 8th grade (13 years old). At that time period, I was about 5 feet (152cm) tall and weighed about 90 pounds (41kg). I wasn't very big, but that darn mustache was horrible. The psychological pain I went through was incredible. I tried to hide it, of course, but it was still visible when I shaved. When my uncle noticed it in the summer of 1983, I felt so ashamed. Weird, I know. Most boys would relish the onset of their manhood, but I was just the opposite. Too bad I was such a shy kid...perhaps things would have been different if I had the internet and a more courageous voice.

Now, doctors are reviewing how early and what types of hormones or hormone blockers to use. This, of course, relies on the child telling their parents that they are transgender, and the parents respecting their child's situation. Lots of "ifs" still.

Almost

Sigh.

It just seems like it happens all too often...it's that whole "second place" thing...again. The Packers almost made it to the Super Bowl, but lost in overtime. I was so looking forward to having a real team to root for in the big game.

I watched the game last night in a bar with a couple of lesbian friends...most of which were rooting for the Pack. The whole bar seemed to be filled with people rooting for the Packers, too. Sure, there were a couple of Giants fans, but every time something good happened for the Packers, there was a loud roar that swept through the facility. Perhaps people were rooting for Brett Favre similar to how everyone rooted for John Elway in the late 90's.

Anyway, not many mistakes were made during the game, only two turnovers...both by the Packers...with the one killer one happening at the end of the game to give the Giants the win.

Moral of the story: Don't give up your balls....well, unless you really want to, then it's OK.

Poll

I was driving the other night and had some of the Cotillion still on my brain. I seem to do a lot of thinking sometimes, and yes, some of the whole T stuff makes me curious.

I was chatting with a T at the Cotillion. She is on the initial steps of transition, but already looks great. I was curious about her family and asked her if she had siblings. Two sisters.

"Were you first born?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, same here. I see a lot of that. There are also a lot of military brats."

"My dad was military."

"See? So was mine."

It would be incredible to do a large sampling of transgender people to see if there are any correlations or commonalities, or at least compare it to the general population. Do we migrate to certain professions or careers? Do we have similar backgrounds or regions? Is there something biological going on?

Of course, a really good study would require DNA testing and possible medical charts dating way back to the mother/father or grandparents, or even exposure to different substances over time (think professions such as coal miners or something, that are exposed to different chemicals). That would cost more money than most of us could ever dream about, but it would be amazing to look at some of it.

Hell, maybe I'll put together a questionnaire and start sending it out to transgender contacts. We're all connected by three degrees of separation, anyway, right? Hmm...

(to be continued?)

Stanford

I'm headed to Stanford next Thursday. Jana Marcus is doing a presentation there and invited a few of the photographic subjects to attend on a panel...similar to what we did in New York. It looks like there will be four subjects along with Jana. Stanford is also checking if the presentation will be video recorded and put in their itunes library. If they do, I'll be sure to get some type of link up here.

Here's the statement from Stanford's calendar:

Jana Marcus, Transfigurations. Santa Cruz-based artist Jana Marcus will be discussing her award winning photographs of transgender people. Lecture, January 24, 2008. 4:30pm to 6:00pm. Oak East Lounge, Tresidder Union, White Plaza, Stanford, CA 94305. Also participating will be individuals featured in the photographs. Audience questions welcome. To be followed by a reception with light refreshments, to allow the photographs to be viewed, at Serra House, 589 Capistrano Way, Stanford CA 94305. Reception 6:00pm to 7:00pm. All welcome.

Straight Hair

I had my hair straightened on Saturday. It's that one time of the year I get to have straight hair for a few days. Yes, I shower, but I wear a shower cap to keep my hair away from the evil water.

For the past two days, I've had a lot of compliments on my hair.

"It looks nice"

"It's so long."

"It's so straight."

"I like it."

Yeah, I know...I like it, too. A lot of people say they like the curly hair, but...sigh, I really like it when it's straight. It's so much easier to take care of, and it looks really nice...and, well, I just like it that way.

Sigh.

If it weren't so expensive to maintain, I'd do it...but paying $300-500 every few months just isn't in my budget.

More good news

Mom is headed home.

Her blood count numbers were on the rise to normal levels when I visited her and my dad in the hospital over Christmas, but she was having some issues with her heart and blood pressure. She recovered enough to leave the hospital and go to a "self-care" house about a week ago, and now they are sending her home. She's still having some heart issues, which happen to a small percentage of people that have gone through what she went through, but they feel it will subside with time and the medication she is on.

It's the first time she has been home in around 2 months, and I bet she's glad to be back.

Cotillion 2008

So, I'm at my hair stylist's yesterday morning getting my hair straightened for the Cotillion later that evening and she mentions Dr. Gray again. (Her and I both went to Dr. Gray for breast augmentation.) One of Dr. Gray's office staff has her hair done by the same stylist, and I guess she was in for an appointment the day before me. My stylist asks me who my surgeon was for my facial work...either for recommendations for facial surgeons or for hospitals that are cool with the whole transgender stuff. My stylist was even aware of the whole transgender lawsuit at Seton and knew that Dr. Gray was performing transgender operations at another hospital now.

Anyway, I told her about Dr. O, and that he was quite excellent with bone work.

My stylist is pretty awesome. She did my hair before I went fulltime, and when I told her what type of event I was going to, she told me about a former hair stylist she worked with that was a transsexual. Wow...that all seems so long ago.

Anyway, she was telling me a little about her son, and how he actually had to wrestle a number of girls in high school. That's just wild...girls wrestling. I guess he gained a bit of weight so that he wouldn't have to wrestle them so much in the lower weight classes.

OK, where was I..oh yeah, my hair. She trimmed and straightened it for the Cotillion last night. After having it styled, I went home and watched the Packers play. I almost had to turn off the TV after watching the first 5 minutes, but luckily they came back to stomp the Seahawks and move into the championship game this coming weekend. Woot!!! One win away from the Super Bowl!!!

After the game was over, I was off to the Cotillion. I chatted with a number of old friends, then met a number of new people as I made my way around recruiting for the Debutante and Guys Walk. I've actually met a lot of people doing this the past 3 years, and have a blast announcing names as they walk across the stage....especially when the crowd really gets into it and cheers for these people in possibly some of their first moments dressed up outside their own secure dwellings.

Lisa won Ms. Transgender San Francisco 2008. I ran against her way back in 2005, and was happy to see her finally pull out a win. She's a sweetheart and should have a great time in her role for the next year.

As the event drew to a close, I debated following the crowds off to a number of bars, but since it grew so late, I decided just to head home and get some sleep before attending practice the following morning. It was a fun time, but I do wish I would have had the energy to party it up until the wee hours of last night...and still make it to practice without bloodshot eyes.

Writer's strike = TransTV?

With the Writer's Guild on strike, it appears many stations are turning to reality TV to fill their schedules. This is most apparent with American Gladiators back on. I watched an hour or two this past weekend, and I have to say, nothing has changed. I mean nothing. It looked like the exact same set and exact same tennis ball shooter.

That being said, it appears there could be a couple of transgender themed reality shows to hit the airwaves soon. The one I had heard about involved Calpernia Addams doing sort of a Bachelorette style show.

I found the other one randomly. A lesbian friend of mine is planning a party at AsiaSF, so I went online to look at their website after hearing they were opening a new restaurant in Hollywood. They are holding auditions for transgender women to be their new lip syncing dance machines...and it appears they may make that process a new reality show. Interesting.

Let's just hope they do well in showing real life, and not the life everyone seems to think that we live.

High School

When I was in the middle of transition, I finally found a few others around the same age and in similar times of transition that lived near me. We were all on a forum together, so basically, we chatted almost every day.

Over time, the forum became quieter and quieter as more and more moved back into some sort of life outside a forum shell. Actually, I guess the forum also shifted, due to trolls that always tend to show up after a while.

It became a rather close knit group of 6: Me, Amy, Amber, Claire, Rachel, and Joan. Claire moved away a number of years ago, and Amy moved off to another school. The remaining four still chat here and there, but we're all spread out over the Bay Area just living our lives. When the other two are in town, though, we usually try to get together...which happened just last month.

I think some of this topic came up as we all ate dinner. I told them there were always other T's around going through transitions, but it was hard to build strong relationships with them, even though we might be around the same ages.

Claire mentioned that it was like going through high school...you only do it once.

That Claire is a smart one. She's nailed it right on the head. Yeah, there are others that have transitioned and been down the same path...like we've all been to nearly the same school, but just at different times.

"Yeah, you had Dr. Meltzer for SRS 101??? So did I!!!"

"Oh, and that Dr. O dude for FFS 105...he almost gave me a C at midterm, but I finished strong on the final and pulled out an A."

I've met a number of T's around my age bracket...or close, and we share that common bond. We've even adopted some of those transfer kids or foreign exchange students, but it's still hard to break into that core group simply because of the bond we all shared with overlapping transitions.

"Amy and I still haven't graduated," states Claire, in reference to not having had SRS yet.

"Eh, you have your GED. That's all that matters."

I still get together with a number of other T's here and there. It's a larger group that encompasses a wide range of transitioners. I guess you could say it's a Homecoming of sorts, but without the football game.

Catholic boobs

The only religious part of me is my boobs. They're Catholic.

Well, I mentioned it before, but it has finally happened. A local woman tried to schedule her breast augmentation with Dr. Gray last year (the same doctor that performed my BA). The doctor, unfortunately, told her that the hospital he operates in no longer operates on transgender patients when having breast augmentation or any other related transgender surgery. She decided to sue. Good for her.

The hospital claims they can do this since they are a Catholic hospital. What I find amazing is they continue to do BA's on genetic women. Haha...I guess the Pope approves of larger breasts. They gotta make more Catholic babies, right, and what better way than through larger boobs?

Seriously, there is just so much irony in all of it. I guess they think what's good for the goose, is...well...uhh...good for just the goose. I hope she gets enough out of to get free Catholic boobs for her and all of her friends.

I'd love to see one of the hospital officials in a TV interview where one of the tough hitting anchors asks why it's not good for transgender patients, but it's OK for genetic women. As the person pauses for the words to say, the news anchor should bring in like a ton of Hooter's chicks and ask the person if they have stock in hot wings.