Losing more teammates

I don't post to Facebook what I am doing every 20 minutes, but I will post once in a while, and I do end up looking at some stuff that other people post. Recently, one of my teammates changed their listed name...from a female name to a masculine name.

Now, I've seen their name the new way for a few weeks, and while I didn't say anything up front, I finally sent a note asking about the name change.

Sure enough, I've now lost two teammates inside the past 8 months. The previous one I found out last November.

To be honest, neither of their transitions is a surprise, and from what I have seen, most people that knew them aren't surprised either. It's almost as though it was seen as the logical step for both of them. In fact, it almost seems opposite to the reaction of MTF's where people seem to wonder why we would do such a thing...to go from being a powerful man to a weak woman.

And that's when I realize that most people that view transition from the outside never seem to see the gender identity dysphoria...they see it as a much larger gender flop. They see MTF's losing their penis, and FTM's gaining male privilege.

It's too bad that most of the population never sees the inner peace, the glowing resolution, or the victory of reaching an almost unreachable goal. They never see us land on the moon.

And so, when my friend took his first steps as a man...his giant leaps to mankind, I made sure to acknowledge his journey. I found out about his transition about a month ago and I tried to hook up with him during Pride, but it never worked out. He and I connected well as teammates, so much that I called him my twin the past few years. In a way, I guess we are.

It's kinda ironic that I ran into my other former teammate a week after Pride. Claire was in town, and the old gang got together for some activities...one of which included a stopover in a lesbian bar. As we were gathered in one area, I noticed my former teammate sitting at a table. After ordering a drink, I stopped by to say hi.

As I did, he stood up and we conversed. I asked him how he was doing, and he said things were going well. After a few seconds, he paused.

"So...I have to ask...I heard...are...are you MTF?"

"Who told you that?"

"Uh...I heard a rumor."

At this point, I'm kinda stuck. There is no use denying it, because, well, I am MTF...and even if I did, I'm sure it would come back to bite me in the arse somehow. Plus, I have always kinda said that if someone asked me if I was a transsexual, I wouldn't lie.

"Yeah. I am."

"Wow. I never would have thought."

And so the conversation went. We talked about some of our past dealings with the teams, and how one of our previous coaches was interested in having him play as a woman even though he was on testosterone. He even asked if I had dated FTM's in the past. He felt that his dating options were far less as an FTM than as a lesbian, but he also mentioned that he, like many transsexuals, found himself more open to dating a variety of genders.

I have no idea how he found out, nor who told him, but it's likely that through our many transsexual channels, someone passed along the knowledge that there was another transsexual playing. I knew that as time went on, more people would likely know, but I still plan on playing by the "don't ask, don't tell" policy...until I see that the policy is accepting. Actually, from what I have seen since my two teammates jumped the fence, they may allow transsexuals to play...perhaps both MTF and FTM, but I need to see how it all falls together. This gives me investigative options, though, by seeing if my two friends are still eligible to play or not.

The policy may be the least of my worries, though, since I may find most of the resistance from my own teammates. I've never told any of them, outside of one. They may look at it as a trust issue, or they may not want me in the locker room. Who knows. Either way, I hope they will be able to see it from my point of view.