Monday, March 29, 2010

Low expectations

Ever since I started confronting my gender issues in the early 2000's, I have had a keen eye on all things transgender. I don't think I was as aware before transition, especially while the internet was still developing.

One thing I have noticed is that whenever a transgender person makes something of themselves and enters the public eye, they end up getting slapped with the trans label. Instead of being the female golfer, or the female mountain biker, or the female appointed to the Commerce Department by President Obama, they end up being labeled as the transgender golfer, the transgender mountain biker, or the transgender woman appointed to the Commerce Department. And, of course, I'm using the more polite adjectives.

It's almost as though we're not expected to do anything with our lives, and then when we do, they label us as though to say that we either don't belong there or to remind people that we should be thrown back to the gutter.

This made me wonder if one could be famous without the whole T thing coming out? And if so, how famous could one be without it being an issue? Sure, there is the super stealth scenario, but someone somewhere likely still knows.

And is that fear of being outed a hindrance for transgender people? Are we afraid to be too good simply because all of the attention might out us? Do we fear going in front of TV cameras or appearing in newspapers for fear that someone might see us and go, "Hey, there's that girl who used to be a boy."

Or are we afraid of our own "community"?

A former teammate of mine transitioned, and when we met in a bar a number of months after his transition, he approached me and asked if I was MTF. He'd found out via some sort of grapevine...a grapevine probably throughout the T community.

Are we our own worst enemies? Will we out one another to our friends, family, or coworkers just to say, "Hey, I know her...she's a transsexual, too" just to provide justification to the success transgender people can obtain. Or are we just too fragile to believe that it's OK for other transgender people to know there are others out there who can make a name for themselves and be highly successful at what they do?

1 comment:

Jessica Lyn said...

Which is exactly why some of us never tell anyone, which in the end could backfire on them.

I have thought about this subject many times as well, and since I'm just starting my transition, now is the time when I start telling people about me. But I wonder, what if I don't tell anyone, or at least not anyone whose not close to me? Perhaps my life would benefit if less people knew.

Of course the questions about growing up and high school will come about, early photos would be an issue.. and what do are family members say when people ask about me the old me? There is always another way of the "T" stuff to come about even if I'm not the one telling it.

Like you said, perhaps we do out others.. maybe because others outed us!?