High School Reunion

Things actually went better than I expected.

Sure, there were wrong pronouns and perhaps a slip or two of the old name, but my old classmates did well. Most everyone came up to say hi and a number of them told me I seemed a lot happier and more comfortable as me now. A few also said I was really brave.

I told them it wasn’t bravery...it was survival. I don’t think I would have made it much longer without transitioning, or I would have gone bonkers.

It’s kinda weird, as time has gone by, I’ve built up this little tolerance to stuff. I used to stare out that peephole in my door to make sure no one was outside. Then I would take a few steps out to see if anyone was around between my door and the garage. And of course, once I started going out more, I looked at the people around to see who was staring at me. Gradually, I just stated settling into who I am, and just going wherever I wanted and doing whatever I wanted to do. Sure, there was that lingering question in my mind of “can they tell”, but even that question stops ringing so loud.

So, I brought along three dresses, two of which were new. One was a low cut little black dress. Another was a more conservative black dress that still fit me rather well. The third was this amazing blue dress that had it all...low cut, eye grabbing, and, yet, very tasteful. I modeled all three for my mom to help me decide, and although she thought the low cut black one was best, I still wasn't sure I wanted to show that much cleavage. I told her it was labeled as dressy casual, and both of us thought the blue one would be way too much. I eventually decided on the conservative black dress.

My high school reunion activities kicked off with an evening dinner. I had a hair, mani, and pedi appointment in the afternoon. Whenever I go to anyone other than my usual hair stylist, I usually get a question or two...especially if they are brave enough to ask or if they see my scar. One woman in the past commented about how I had really thick hair on the side and less dense on the top...part of the male hair pattern that started to kick in before I really started losing hair. I suppose my sides will always be thicker than on top, but when you look at it, I just have a lot of hair around the sides.

This time, she didn’t ask. And I didn’t supply anything. I just enjoyed her doing my hair. And she was doing a great job of straightening it. I’m betting they underestimated the job required to straighten my hair, because soon I had two other people pulling on my head getting my hair straight. Yeah, I guess it is pretty long right now.

Anyway, the hair styling was followed up with a pedicure and my first ever manicure. Yeah, I’d never had my fingernails done before.

OK, OK...I have this weird claustrophobia with fingernail polish on my nails. I can tolerate it for a while, but soon it just starts to bug me...and I can literally feel it on there.

The price tag for all of that was under $70. My jaw almost dropped. I guess I am so used to California prices.

My parents still live fairly close to where I went to high school, but I decided to get a hotel room since we'd all be out fairly late...and I could simply get ready there. On my walk from the hotel to the dinner, I got a phone call from Laci about something. I don't actually remember the reason why she called me, but I told her I was about to walk into my high school reunion.

...and, yes, I was a little nervous.

As I turned the corner down the stairs, I saw my old classmates. I hung on the phone with Laci a little longer before finally saying goodbye and heading to the sign in table.

I had a few people come up to say hi to me as I was signing in. One was the girl I kinda dated in high school.

After saying a few hello’s, we grabbed some food and sat down as our organizers started the evening off. They started with the general stuff, then passed the microphone around for everyone to say what they have been doing or where they are. Not everyone had to, of course.

When the microphone made it to me, I stood up and said, “Hi. My name is Kara...” and rattled off what line of work I was in now and briefly about what I had been up to lately…and then passed the microphone on.

When I sat down, one of my best friends from high school taps me on the shoulder and says hi. He’s been a lifelong military man since high school…fighting in both Gulf Wars. It was actually a very warm smile. I had previously contacted him a few years ago about my journey, and although he mentioned that it was important for me to do what I needed to do, he also said he didn’t agree with it. But now, that he saw me face to face, things seemed different...as though that fear of the unknown was gone, and, perhaps it was the best thing for me.

The rest of the night was similar. I had two older friends on the wrestling team who both went to state my junior year, their senior year. I saw them at the 10 year reunion and had emailed with one of them a while back. He was fine with it, and mentioned it again at the dinner. Both were still very cool with stuff, and I caught up with their lives. Yeah, they had a lot of stuff going on in high school, and they didn’t follow all of the rules, but deep down they were good guys…and I looked up to them.

...and I still do.

Of course, once the alcohol was flowing, I had more people say hi and be a little more outgoing. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was everyone had seen others come up to me. Who knows? One guy in the organizing committee was one of the first to say hi to me actually mentioned later on that I “seemed to be a very popular girl tonight” and that it was hard to get spare time with me.

OK, yes, I did make it around to say hi to people, but if I didn’t get the warm and fuzzy feeling, I didn’t approach.

And, of course, when I first stepped foot in the bathroom, I was worried. A few women were in there, but things went well, and one woman actually asked me if shopping was more fun now.

“Of course,” I said (but shopping is still a pain…trying to find clothes that fit – with the shoulder, chest size, waist, and boobs to consider).

When all was said and done, I’d say I conversed with probably 90% of the attendees and had a crowd to talk to for most of the night.

I didn’t really have too many questions about transition, and if there were, they weren’t too personal. One person asked if my hair was real, and when I said it was, they seemed to just express a bit of jealousy. Of course, they saw it when it was straight and not with the full curl factor 10.

We had a school tour and picnic the following day, followed by adults-only at a local bar.

Word had made it around to some of the locals about the reunion (apparently some of them either didn’t know about it or didn’t worry about attending), so we had a few new faces the second night. One guy was from a few grades behind me, but looked hella older (which my sister says is from him doing too many drugs). His older brother showed up later (who I knew) and the little brother said things were cool. Well, apparently, the little brother only told him there was a surprise when he got there, so when I introduced myself, he asked, “When did this happen?” I always want to say something like, “yesterday,” but just say “a few years ago.”

Another classmate brought his 22 year old bisexual girlfriend who later came up to me and said there was “going to be a lot of hair pulling, titty squeezing, and ass grabbing.” I asked her to be gentle. She later came through on the ass grabbing during one of the pictures being taken.

Again, with the alcohol flowing, people seemed very friendly. I swear I started getting some mixed signals from some of the guys – but it’s really hard to say. I mean, I seriously wouldn’t expect anyone in my class to hit on me, especially since it is the middle of Oz and a lot of people couldn’t expect to confront that type of security in their sexual orientation in two nights.

Overall, I had a really good time. I even got to spend some time with the family…including dinner out for my birthday. It’s strange still – now that I look back – that I didn’t make a birthday wish. Perhaps I’ll make one tomorrow on my actual birthday, or just be glad that the whole high school reunion thing went so well.