Changes

Have you ever had the convergence of many different changes in life happening around the same time? It seems like it has been that way for me lately.

A few weeks ago, my mom received word that her cancer treatments weren't working. At that time, they had no other options for her, and they told her that she basically has a year to live. Yes, it's crappy news, but I know the process of life. I love my mom, but I also know that none of us live forever. I suppose it seems like 'forever' as we age, and we almost assume that everyone in our lives will be around in our day to day activities. Because this fight against the cancer has gone on for years, I suppose it has given me time to deal with it all, and my own journey has given me insight into the whole grieving process. And, perhaps since I am a problem solver by nature, Denial and Bargaining never enter into my equation. Sure, there is a little anger at the whole dying thing, but I usually skip into the Depression and Acceptance steps pretty fast. There is no use spending energy on things I cannot change.

About a month ago, my roommate told me that she needed to move to Chicago to follow what her employer subtly said was basically her only option to stay employed. It wasn't much notice, and I had to go through the whole process of finding a new roommate. Not only that, but when she left at the buttcrack of dawn this past Sunday, she spent little time cleaning her room or bathroom. She didn't have too much stuff here since she was able to pack it all into a couple of suitcases for her flight, but she still left things in a bit of a mess...especially the bathroom. It took me 3 hours to clean it Sunday night, and then start on the rest of her room. Since I was also getting the carpets replaced, I had to move stuff around for the carpet layers on Monday and Tuesday. Shifting around the entire apartment was very physically demanding and time consuming. I don't think I have made it to bed before 1am all this week as I move, clean, and replace everything around the apartment. My new roommate has made minimal contact thus far, but she is due to move in sometime over the next week.

In my personal life, I have also found that Warcraft is too much of a time sink. I'm not doing anything creative, and I really need to. When I was at Wondercon, it really brought back my desire to write. I've already got a new story I need to start working on, and see what I can make of it. To free up time, though, I've already told myself that I'm only playing computer games 2 days a week...maximum. The hard part is the social part of the game. I've gotten to know a lot of fun and cool people to hang out with via ventrillo. Leaving them behind really makes me sad, but I suppose there are plenty of other people out in the world still to meet.

Taking on the duties of Ms. Transgender San Francisco has also led to a reflection on my involvement in the transgender world, as I have mentioned in a few past posts.

The other aspect is my life in general. I'd like to find a place of my own...one that I own, instead of renting. Interest rates are rock bottom low right now, but housing prices are still fairly expensive here. And finding a decent place is still kinda hard. My lease ends in November, and I think I'd like to be in a new place before then.

Finally, my sports teams have started up again, and I wonder how this year will work in my schedule. Hopefully there will be no injuries this year.

All in all, I have a lot of new paths to take...but, that is what life is all about...our roads to tomorrow.