Before I start this post, I wanted to mention how ironic it is that the one woman most impersonated by gay men has a daughter that became a man. The irony just eclipses this total gender binary.
OK, so Cher was on Letterman last night, and the two talked about her son, Chaz, for a while. (I didn't catch the episode, but you can catch the interview here.) Now, I've never met Cher, but I have had the opportunity to chat with Chaz for a while, and he seems like a really nice guy.
I watched the interview and it's this total mash-up of improper pronouns and sexual orientations...even calling Chaz a lesbian. Dave tried to stay on track with the pronouns, sexual orientations, and providing a glimpse of the female past along with the male present, but Cher can't seem to let go.
I suppose that's one of the hardest parts for a parent...saying good-bye to the child you raised and then welcoming in a new member of the family that you feel you don't even know.
She's not a bad parent...she's still there for Chaz, but I get a strong sense that not everything is keen for Cher. What I thought was awesome, though, was the audience's applause when Cher said that Chaz was brave. I think if more parents saw that society is more impressed with parents being there for their children no matter what, than the parents being embarrassed because they think they'll be thought of differently and blamed for something their child did, there would be a lot fewer homeless transgender children.
I also cringed when Cher kept messing up the pronouns and then said that Chaz didn't care about her using the wrong pronouns. Yeah, right...he's probably just tired of always correcting your ass. OK, that's not what Chaz thinks...it's just what I think. That would drive me crazy if my parents did that, and I really hope that's not how they talk about me when I'm not there.
At least they won't be on Letterman anytime soon, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem.
2 comments:
First... I like the new design.. its more clean looking.
Second.. now I haven't yet started HRT yet (still.. very soon I hope tho) but my mom still to this day has not ever once used the correct pronoun and its been a few years since I've told her. She doesn't ever talk about it.. its like she thinks if she doesn't then it will just go away. Of course, me not start hormones yet probably isnt helping her see who I really am, but still she's never even tried.
I guess what I'm saying is while it may be hard for Cher to except, at least she's trying... and being public about it.
Hi Kara - this is such a beautiful post and I agree that accepting parents validate themselves in a much more socially admirable fashion than those who would prefer to simply burry the subject by discarding their offspring into the streets like a piece of garbage. I was extremely fortunate to not only have an extraordinarily supportive father but a surprisingly supportive social network as well. Being a very shy person I dreaded the thought of confrontation or harassment when I came out. I had pretty much resigned myself to a life of marginalization and was enormously surprised when the majority of my loved ones went out of their way to support me. One exception to this was my mother - to this day she still treats me like a preclivity. Strangely she had been a fag hag for my entire upbringing - all of her friends were gay males - which let me to the false assumption that my acceptance was granted. Eleven years after comming out, 5 of continuous hormone therapy, FFS with Dr. O in 2005 and countless hours of electrology she still goes out of her way to make explicit her condemnation of what she considers to be my "lifestyle." Such is life.
Anyways, I have been following your blog for like 5-6 years. I remember IM'ing you in 2005 before my surgery with Dr. O to ask you some question or another - not really a conversation that you should remember. I hold you in very high regard and your detailed journaling of your transition has been invaluable in achieving my own fairly smooth transition. Also, we are about the same age (I just turned 37 on Monday)and both professional women (i'm an attorney in South Carolina). I have started my own blog at www.postopliving.com and my name is Abbi if you ever want to talk. Thanks again for the work you do for the community and for being such an inspiring woman.
Abbi
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