A Eulogy for Claire

A friend of mine and her husband were over for lunch last year.  We chatted about how we were all doing and everything that was going on in our lives.  Later in our conversation, I asked her if she had talked to Claire lately.  

"I'm not sure she is on this planet anymore," she replied.

My heart dropped.

She told me that she thought Claire had died.

It makes me sad.

It makes me sad that a close "high school" friend died.

It makes me sad that I never got to say good-bye.

It makes me sad that she likely died alone.

Knowing her, she likely would have preferred it that way.

I met Claire twenty-two years ago tonight.  The last time we saw one another was almost eight years ago.  She tended to be a fairly private person.  She also lived several hundred miles away, and because of that, we usually only chatted when she was up here, or I was down there.

When I first met Claire, it was her first interactive time out in public.  We chatted over dinner and dessert, and I think we walked around in the Castro a little.  It's been a while.  A long while.

We hung out a lot over the years, especially during those transition years.  We had a number of things in common, but we were different in so many ways.

She came to my wedding.  She met my oldest child.  She slept on my couch a couple of times.  My dog loved her.

She was a natural athlete.  We threw the ball here and there.  She eventually found sports to be her passion, and she gave back to the community by coaching kids sports.

She was such a gentle soul.  With a lead foot.

She had a warm heart.  And was competitive as hell.

She would laugh at my dumb jokes.  But she would call me a dork.

I miss our foody "adventures."  I miss our long-standing rivalry over who got to wear the long, black, fuzzy sweater-coat (she wore it first, but I claimed status once she moved away).  I miss playing pool with her.

I miss her.

She was my friend.  But as two military brats, we weren't great at staying in contact.  The last time I texted her was the night before she died.

She never responded.

I can't imagine what she was going through in the days before her death.  I'll likely never have an answer to any of it.  She would have preferred it that way.