Back

About a month and a half ago, my mom was diagnosed with cancer again. Yes, it has returned. They decided to pursue a different course of chemotherapy this time, followed by a bone marrow transplant. Her first chemo was 3 weeks ago. This week is her second session. She has one more in 3 weeks, and hopefully, based on being in remission or not, heads off for the bone marrow procedure. If she’s not in remission, they say there is nothing else they can do...which is not something I really want to think about.

Because some alumni activities were being held this coming weekend as well, I decided to fly home and help take care of my mom during her session.

My mom and I were able to chat quite a bit this morning while she sat in her chair as the IV dripped into her port. She told me about her doctor, the facility, the whole gist of her bone marrow procedure...I told her I was asked out.

“Man or woman?”

“Woman. And she’s really cute, Mom. We’re supposed to set something up when I get back to town.”

After eating lunch with my dad, I helped my mom arrange her medical information similar to how I arranged all of my surgical information during my surgeries. I told her it was easier to keep it all arranged and in order so if she or anyone else had questions about her procedures, it was all right there...especially since she is going between facilities. Of course, my parents tend to forget more stuff now, so it’s best to have all of it neatly organized so that when they do forget, it is easily accessible.

My mom drifted off to sleep for the rest of the afternoon. I checked in on her once in a while. Chemotherapy is such a silent beast. As my mom lay there in the chair, her hair cropped short as it begins to fall out again, she looked so peaceful. Yet, there in that bag of clear liquid that slowly dripped into her chest port were strong chemicals attempting to bring her body
so close to death to kill the cancer, but far enough away to allow her to survive. And the pain she endures is only visible in her hair as it falls out. Sure, she becomes tired. She loses her appetite. She feels like butt.

Even going through all of that, she keeps her chin up. She's stared straight into the eyes of cancer and hasn't backed down...but it's such a huge creature to defeat. It comes at you from all sides...and the worst part, it comes at you from inside. It's your own body harboring the evil beast.

All I can do now is just try to be there when I can...maintain contact, and be a voice of positive support.

Asked out

I’ve only had a few guys ever show interest in me, and most of them were drunk. (I'm not sure if that is good or bad.) There was one recent guy that tried hitting on me when I was doing a track workout, but he lived relatively far away and was a bit older. Of the women that have hit on me, most of them were drunk, too.

I suppose that’s why I was relatively curious when a friend recently told me that someone she knew who I had met previously found me interesting (she’s my friend’s roommate’s co-worker if that last part was a little confusing). I met her via my two friends at one of their parties, and arranged it so that both of us were at another recent party. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to chat much then.

Via connections, two friends asked if it was OK for them to give my phone number to her.

“Of course.”

When she called yesterday to ask me out, wow, what can I say. I don’t think I’ve ever had a girl actually ask me out before. I’ve had a few guys kinda ask for my number or ask if I would go on a date with them, but this was definitely different. I’d always asked girls out previously, so this was kinda nice, and because I remember the courage it takes to ask someone out, I took it easy on her. I said “yes,” of course, but we won’t set anything up until I get back from visiting the Midwest.

Sperm Bank

Early this year I realized I was approaching the 5 year mark on the sperm I had frozen before I started taking hormones. I called the sperm bank to see what type of renewal options they had. At that time in April, they said they would send out a renewal notice in June when my term ended. June came around and I never got anything.

I called again in July in almost a panic hoping they hadn’t “trashed” “the boys.” They said a renewal letter had never been sent since there had been some type of glitch in the system. I was ensured that my deposits were still safely stored and that a renewal letter was on the way. I finally got it and mailed everything back in. I’m now good for another 5 years. They even let me know that sperm has reportedly been stored indefinitely, which is way longer than I will likely need.

I’ll admit, I’ve actually pondered the whole foster child thing lately...mainly when I saw a need for foster parents of LGBT youth. I need to get my own finances in order first, though, before I consider finding a place on my own where I could have room for a kid. Even with the nice raise and bonus I recently received, I still won’t pay off FFS until sometime next year.

Speaking of FFS, I’ve scheduled a little work with Dr. O for later this year. It’s just to iron out a little section of my jaw. I’m hoping it won’t knock me out too bad, nor create too much swelling. It’s just on one side, too, which may leave me looking a little lopsided for a while.

She's back

If you watch FX, you have likely heard of the show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. They have been running a few promo's lately, including one where the transsexual woman is back. As it is, they have the full episode already on their myspace page.

They had the T character in the first season, but never had her appear this past season. This time, Mac is dating her again...but he doesn't want anyone to find out. This leads to a little suspicion as to what he is doing. The gang then thinks, of course, that he is the serial killer running around loose in Philadelphia...which leads to a number of funny situations.

Unfortunately, they are still emphasizing she is T by having a huge bulge in her pants which Mac obviously sees every time her groin is viewable. The T situation isn't too far from real life though...in that there is a huge stigma around dating a T...especially one that is pre-op.

Besides the bulging pants, it's nice to see this situation where a main character is interested in dating a T. Of course, the T is played, again, by a hot genetic female. It would be nice to see them develop her into a fairly regular character on the show, but only time and their writing skills will determine that.

Katrina

Yesterday marked the two year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina slamming into New Orleans. Two days ago, I received a letter from Louisiana's Vital Records. It was a thick envelope, and when I noticed their address in the corner, my eyes got really big. Was this my new birth certificate? Did they finally get through all of the mess from the hurricane and process my request to have the M replaced by an F?

I opened the letter and found a cover letter, along with all of the paperwork I sent them. They'd also made copies of everything and included them as well.

The cover letter did not make my day. I don't have it on me to quote, but it basically said, "We haven't heard from you, so here is all of your stuff back."

WTF? Haven't heard from me? They never contacted me once. Sigh.

When life throws you lemons, make lemonade, right? What happens when life throws you poo? I say throw it back. I called Lamda Legal and got some referrals for LGBT-friendly attorneys in Louisiana. I also looked around online and found some limited information. Now it's just down to finding a lawyer willing to take my case.

Voices from the Past

It had been over a year since I heard from her.

"Guess who is here with me?"

I could only think of one person who would prompt her to ask such a question.

"Claire?"

"Yup, she's up here for a few days."

Claire was our social butterfly while she lived her in San Francisco. She was the backbone of our group of GPers that got together fairly regularly.

Most of us went full time, then Claire moved to Southern California. I won't say we lost touch with one another, but we all started to settle back into life. While she was here, though, she managed to get all of us back together again. It was nice seeing everyone again...all together.

With a new friend also about to go through FFS, she was able to join us for dinner and see four faces changed by Dr. O. I think it eased her mind being able to see how we all slipped back into life.

A month or two ago, someone prodded me about Amber’s site. Supposedly it was down. After spotting Amber online around that time, I sent her an IM. It appeared Sianna ran into financial strain hosting hers, anothers, and Amber’s site. Amber said her’s would likely stay off line, but also mentioned that it might return in the future even bigger and brighter than the past.

I have to admit, I haven’t touched my site in over a year...which is quite obvious since the last update was around February 2006. I should update it a little so it’s a little more current. I’ve thought about switching it away from AOL to it’s own URL, but we’ll see...too much other stuff to do.

After running into Amber, she said she had her's up and running again, and was in the process of revamping it again. So, her link is now updated at www.amberspace.net. Enjoy.

IRS article and catching up

Sorry...I haven't been posting lately. I have a number of blog entries I've written, just haven't posted. I plan to throw them up here soon...as soon as I find a little time. (They will be retroactively posted, so they will have dates prior to this one.) In the meantime, though, I ran across an IRS/SRS article this morning:


I've mentioned this before, but it looks like Rhiannon is finally suing the IRS over their disallowing SRS costs to be deducted from her taxes (also here). I think she has a strong case, but the problem is, too many people have a hangup over transgender stuff. The poll shows 63% of people don't think it should be allowed as a tax deduction, 29% do, 8% don't know. Of course, I have a vested interest in the topic since I claimed my SRS costs as a tax deduction last year.

I've met Rhiannon at least twice now. Perhaps one of the issues she is dealing with is what I will term Societal Passability Discrimination. It basically comes down to the theory that the prettier and more passable you are, the better society will treat you. Rhiannon is up there in age, and I'll admit, she isn't a supermodel, but she does OK.

Some in society will say, when they see a pretty transsexual, that it was a good move for them. When the same person sees someone who doesn't pass very well, they may not have the same opinions. To me though, both can have the same reasons, desires, and pain associated with GID. There is no reason to deny one person the same opportunities of another simply based on looks.

If the IRS decides to decline my SRS costs as a tax deduction, I plan to defend my actions as well. Sure, I could pay the bill...but it's not the money...it's the philosophy of the policy.