The Evil Candy Machine

A battle raged in my mind like it does in many others. I wanted chocolate, but I didn’t want the calories that are preventing me from losing the small amount of boy fat around my waist. It became almost a conversation in my mind as I debated whether or not to get some candy.

Once I decided to get something out of the vending machine, I rummaged through my purse. A brief look into my wallet showed no single dollars and my change section contained no silver. “Ha ha little girl, I’ve stopped you!” said the evil health voice.

I looked in my desk and found $0.50, still $0.15 short. “Ha ha little girl, I’ve thwarted you again!”

“No you haven’t!” I looked back through my change section and low and behold, there was a quarter. “Yes, ha ha you evil bastard, I'm getting some candy.”

At the evil candy machine, there was a guy ahead of me fumbling with his change. He finally puts in enough money to start pressing buttons, and the machine begins to whir as his item moves closer to the cliff that no item returns from. The whirring stops, but nothing falls. He’s ordered chips, and they’re hung up on the last little edge. This often happens to me with my M&M’s, but I’ve come to look before I order since there are two rows of the peanut variety. He’s trying to shake the machine, but he’s doing a poor job, so I step in to help. The guy is bigger than me but he’s a total wuss. So, I rock it a few times before finally giving it a few good shoves. Down fall his chips.

He jokingly says, “Did you used to play linebacker?” as though I seem pretty strong for a girl.

“No – running back,” I respond with. I think he thought I was joking. I used to play running back, defensive back, and wide receiver in a flag football league for a number of years. I was also the captain and the organizer of the team. At 5’5”, though, I had to make up for my lack of height with my speed and agility.

Anyway, with his response, I seem to think, more and more, that half the people in my building have no idea that I transitioned, and probably think I’m just a new person working there.