This site is blacked out for the Transgender Day of Remembrance to honor those people that were killed this past year simply for being themselves.
It has been said by many that it is better to be hated for who we are, than loved for who we aren't. Either way, no person deserves to be killed simply for not adhering to the heteronormative lifestyle.
Though judged by many, we stand proud, live strong, and endure as best we can.
Kara Flynn's continuing blog and random ramblings of transgender &
transsexual
related thoughts on life
through and after transition.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Drunk men
I attended TGSF's month social tonight. We had Matt from the Transgender Law Center stop by and discuss the legalities of name and gender changes. He also answered a number of questions from the audience. I asked him how one can verify that the Social Security Administration actually changes your gender marker. He said there is a little section on the annual Social Security report that indicates gender, but once I got home tonight, I found no gender marker on my report. He also indicated that if you feel out the California DMV form to permanently change gender (as opposed to the "temporary" check box), that the DMV should no longer have an AKA listing in their database. I told him that I permanently changed my name and gender well over 5 years ago and that when I did a ride-along with the cops a few years back, they still had an AKA listed under my driver's license number with my old name. I might need to check that one out further.
As I was leaving, though, a 30-something guy at the bar points at me and says, "You!"
"Me?" I said as I looked around.
"You're a girl...right?"
He must have seen the large group of transgender women there and thought I wasn't one...or he wanted the typical transsexual fantasy that a lot of men have where they think a girl is a girl until being surprised. Sigh.
"I'm a girl...now," I said.
"You mean you're a girl tonight?"
This guy was pretty wasted, obviously, especially with his next line.
"I'm writing a book and you can really determine how this chapter goes," he says with a glow in his eyes.
"I'm a transsexual."
"No, really?"
"Yeah. I'm Ms. Transgender San Francisco 2009."
"Huh?"
By this time I am starting to catch up to my friends that are just outside the entrance.
"No you're not a tranny."
"Yeah, I am. Don't make me use my deep voice."
"Yeah...do it. Say 'I've got a surprise for you'."
"Uh...no," as I rush out to Ally and hide behind her.
They proceed to tell him that I am in fact a transsexual. He kinda just stands there for a few seconds and then says, "I'd hit that," before jumping in his friend's car.
Sigh...men.
As I was leaving, though, a 30-something guy at the bar points at me and says, "You!"
"Me?" I said as I looked around.
"You're a girl...right?"
He must have seen the large group of transgender women there and thought I wasn't one...or he wanted the typical transsexual fantasy that a lot of men have where they think a girl is a girl until being surprised. Sigh.
"I'm a girl...now," I said.
"You mean you're a girl tonight?"
This guy was pretty wasted, obviously, especially with his next line.
"I'm writing a book and you can really determine how this chapter goes," he says with a glow in his eyes.
"I'm a transsexual."
"No, really?"
"Yeah. I'm Ms. Transgender San Francisco 2009."
"Huh?"
By this time I am starting to catch up to my friends that are just outside the entrance.
"No you're not a tranny."
"Yeah, I am. Don't make me use my deep voice."
"Yeah...do it. Say 'I've got a surprise for you'."
"Uh...no," as I rush out to Ally and hide behind her.
They proceed to tell him that I am in fact a transsexual. He kinda just stands there for a few seconds and then says, "I'd hit that," before jumping in his friend's car.
Sigh...men.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Rabbits, huh? Who'd have thought?
I read an article this morning about the progress in rebuilding penile erectile tissue. The researchers report they are having success in restoring the tissue in rabbits.
One of the best lines in the article is:
Those rabbits are fast.
So, what does this mean? Well, it's definitely something that FTM's should cheer about. It's one of the first steps towards being able to build a penis with erectile tissue so they can have penetrative intercourse without the use of foreign support.
It's also good news for those MTFTM's who transition to female and have SRS, and then realize they want to go back to male for a variety of reasons. Doctors might be able to rebuild some of the penis with this type of technology.
Either way, though, they'll be pushing it to have sex within a minute of meeting their snugglebunny.
One of the best lines in the article is:
"Rabbits with the engineered penises attempted to have sex with females within a minute of the time they met. Rabbits that had not been given the implanted tissue did not attempt copulation, in most cases, and there was no evidence of sperm on any swabs."
Those rabbits are fast.
So, what does this mean? Well, it's definitely something that FTM's should cheer about. It's one of the first steps towards being able to build a penis with erectile tissue so they can have penetrative intercourse without the use of foreign support.
It's also good news for those MTFTM's who transition to female and have SRS, and then realize they want to go back to male for a variety of reasons. Doctors might be able to rebuild some of the penis with this type of technology.
Either way, though, they'll be pushing it to have sex within a minute of meeting their snugglebunny.
Monday, November 09, 2009
DOR next week
The 11th Annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, better known as simply DOR, is in 11 days. For those in the Bay Area, I've listed some of the participating locations from http://www.transgenderdor.org/.
Oakland, California
Friday, November 20, 2009
at Preservation Park, Nile Hall
Doors will open at 7PM and the ceremony will start at 7:30 and we will end by 9:30.
Contact: Tiffany Woods at twoods@tri-cityhealth.org
San Jose, California
Friday, November 20, 2009
7:00 PM
Billy DeFrank LGBTQQI Community Center
938 The Alameda, San Jose, CA 95126.
Santa Cruz County, California
Friday, November 20, 2009
6:30PM - 8:30
Watsonville Plaza, 358 Main St, Watsonville, CA
Website: http://diversitycenter.org/programs/transgender-program/2008-transgender-day-of-remembrance/
San Francisco, California
Friday, November 20, 2009
6:00 - 8:00 PM
API Wellness Center
730 Polk Street (corner of Ellis)
For more info: Leeza Edwards, Co-chair of SF TEAM
415. 724.1680 or lavendergoddess@mac.com
San Francisco, California
Transgender Day of Remembrance Shabbat
Friday, November 20, 2009
7:30 PM
Congregation Sha’ar Zahav
290 Dolores Street (corner of 16th Street)
San Francisco, CA 94103
For more info: http://www.shaarzahav.org/node/1852
Oakland, California
Friday, November 20, 2009
at Preservation Park, Nile Hall
Doors will open at 7PM and the ceremony will start at 7:30 and we will end by 9:30.
Contact: Tiffany Woods at twoods@tri-cityhealth.org
San Jose, California
Friday, November 20, 2009
7:00 PM
Billy DeFrank LGBTQQI Community Center
938 The Alameda, San Jose, CA 95126.
Santa Cruz County, California
Friday, November 20, 2009
6:30PM - 8:30
Watsonville Plaza, 358 Main St, Watsonville, CA
Website: http://diversitycenter.org/programs/transgender-program/2008-transgender-day-of-remembrance/
San Francisco, California
Friday, November 20, 2009
6:00 - 8:00 PM
API Wellness Center
730 Polk Street (corner of Ellis)
For more info: Leeza Edwards, Co-chair of SF TEAM
415. 724.1680 or lavendergoddess@mac.com
San Francisco, California
Transgender Day of Remembrance Shabbat
Friday, November 20, 2009
7:30 PM
Congregation Sha’ar Zahav
290 Dolores Street (corner of 16th Street)
San Francisco, CA 94103
For more info: http://www.shaarzahav.org/node/1852
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Transgender Law Center Celebrates #7
Happy Birthday Transgender Law Center!!!!
Actually, this turned out to be a pretty big event tonight. They had both Margaret Cho and Chaz Bono scheduled to attend. I went mainly to see Chaz. Of course, at $100 for the regular ticket and $150 for the VIP spot, I went for the lower of the two.
They honored a number of people and groups, including my friends Cecilia Chung and James Green, both very honorable and deserving people. They also had some decent entertainment and a little food in the back, but, again, I was hoping to meet Chaz.
Fortunately, Chaz hung out in the garden area and was easily accessible, especially with a few of my friends chatting with him. Ally came to my rescue by introducing me. We shook hands and casually conversed.
I usually omit the obvious questions that have been asked a gazillion times or which might be sensitive.
"Fantastic event, huh?
"It's awesome that you were able to attend."
Someone else had asked questions about his transition, so I caught some of his tale and participated in some of the conversations as they went along.
Since it was a bit chilly outside and I was wearing a sleeveless little black dress, I started to shiver. I looked away for a moment, and when I looked back, Chaz was offering me his jacket. He'd noticed I was cold and offered a little something to keep me warm. Awwww...how nice.
I took it, of course. Do you know how much that will go for on Ebay? Just kidding. I gave it back a little bit later, once I was feeling pretty warm and ready to head inside.
I thought he was a really classy guy, though, and a true gentleman! Thanks Chaz!
Actually, this turned out to be a pretty big event tonight. They had both Margaret Cho and Chaz Bono scheduled to attend. I went mainly to see Chaz. Of course, at $100 for the regular ticket and $150 for the VIP spot, I went for the lower of the two.
They honored a number of people and groups, including my friends Cecilia Chung and James Green, both very honorable and deserving people. They also had some decent entertainment and a little food in the back, but, again, I was hoping to meet Chaz.
Fortunately, Chaz hung out in the garden area and was easily accessible, especially with a few of my friends chatting with him. Ally came to my rescue by introducing me. We shook hands and casually conversed.
I usually omit the obvious questions that have been asked a gazillion times or which might be sensitive.
"Fantastic event, huh?
"It's awesome that you were able to attend."
Someone else had asked questions about his transition, so I caught some of his tale and participated in some of the conversations as they went along.
Since it was a bit chilly outside and I was wearing a sleeveless little black dress, I started to shiver. I looked away for a moment, and when I looked back, Chaz was offering me his jacket. He'd noticed I was cold and offered a little something to keep me warm. Awwww...how nice.
I took it, of course. Do you know how much that will go for on Ebay? Just kidding. I gave it back a little bit later, once I was feeling pretty warm and ready to head inside.
I thought he was a really classy guy, though, and a true gentleman! Thanks Chaz!
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Still 6 minutes
I ran a 5K a few weeks ago. Since I've had a bit more time to work out lately and get in a few more miles, I thought I would put in a pretty decent time.
Wrong.
I ran the first mile in just over 7 minutes, and the second mile in just over 8 minutes, to finish in a little over 24 minutes. Gah...24 minutes!!!!
Before transition, I was still breaking 18 minutes for a 5K. Granted, that was 8 years ago, but still. When I got to the first mile I thought, "This is only the first mile. Wow! I'm toast!"
There was an article I blogged about a few years ago entitled "A 6 Minute Difference" about a transsexual woman who now runs a 5K six minutes slower than she did before transition. Funny how we see the same results.
One of the problems I see, though, is that it really shouldn't be that slow. Even Janet mentions in the Runner's World article that she trains and trains, and doesn't seem to get any faster. And we are both 2 minutes per mile slower. When I look at the age adjusted times, I was running around the 75% percentile as a man, and as a woman, I've dropped down to the low 60's.
What's the difference? Well, my bet is that is has something to do with the dreaded testosterone. Men of my age have a typical range of around 300-900 ng/dL and women run between 20-75 ng/dL. What is my testerone level? Well, mine comes in under 20 ng/dL...which means I'm not making enough for the test to detect.
I think it's also part of the reason why my libido is so low, and why I can't seem to run much faster...there just isn't any drive. I'm basically running on empty. The other problem is that if I take testosterone to improve my libido and sex drive, will people accuse me of doping for athletic performance? If I did take the testosterone would it improve my athletic performance up to the relative level I had before, or would this give me too much of an advantage?
Unfortunately, I don't know if I can have my cake and eat it, too. It seems like I can only have one or the other, and I'm not giving up my sports.
Wrong.
I ran the first mile in just over 7 minutes, and the second mile in just over 8 minutes, to finish in a little over 24 minutes. Gah...24 minutes!!!!
Before transition, I was still breaking 18 minutes for a 5K. Granted, that was 8 years ago, but still. When I got to the first mile I thought, "This is only the first mile. Wow! I'm toast!"
There was an article I blogged about a few years ago entitled "A 6 Minute Difference" about a transsexual woman who now runs a 5K six minutes slower than she did before transition. Funny how we see the same results.
One of the problems I see, though, is that it really shouldn't be that slow. Even Janet mentions in the Runner's World article that she trains and trains, and doesn't seem to get any faster. And we are both 2 minutes per mile slower. When I look at the age adjusted times, I was running around the 75% percentile as a man, and as a woman, I've dropped down to the low 60's.
What's the difference? Well, my bet is that is has something to do with the dreaded testosterone. Men of my age have a typical range of around 300-900 ng/dL and women run between 20-75 ng/dL. What is my testerone level? Well, mine comes in under 20 ng/dL...which means I'm not making enough for the test to detect.
I think it's also part of the reason why my libido is so low, and why I can't seem to run much faster...there just isn't any drive. I'm basically running on empty. The other problem is that if I take testosterone to improve my libido and sex drive, will people accuse me of doping for athletic performance? If I did take the testosterone would it improve my athletic performance up to the relative level I had before, or would this give me too much of an advantage?
Unfortunately, I don't know if I can have my cake and eat it, too. It seems like I can only have one or the other, and I'm not giving up my sports.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Post-Halloween
I was watching the status updates of my Facebook friends this afternoon, and I caught what I thought was my little cousin dressed up in a dress. Sure enough, him and two of his college buddies were dressed in a variety of prom dresses. My little cousin was in a sleeveless blue gown, while his buddies wore a strappy purple dress and sexy little black gown.
Doh!
I'm sure it was a harmless little Halloween event and even his girlfriend made a cute little comment. He grew up in California and went to an artsy high school, so he's always been pretty comfortable doing whatever he wants to do. I can just see the headlines now, though:
Kara infects cousin with crossdressing habit!!! Story at 11!!!
There are plenty of guys that dress up in women's clothes around Halloween simply because they can. People can dress up as anything. I mean, how many times do you second guess your friend dressed as a vampire that he or she might actually drink blood in their spare time? Or what about that witch who might like bat wings baked into their favorite dish?
All I'm saying is that I hope people don't read anything into my little cousin's foray into women's clothing.
Doh!
I'm sure it was a harmless little Halloween event and even his girlfriend made a cute little comment. He grew up in California and went to an artsy high school, so he's always been pretty comfortable doing whatever he wants to do. I can just see the headlines now, though:
Kara infects cousin with crossdressing habit!!! Story at 11!!!
There are plenty of guys that dress up in women's clothes around Halloween simply because they can. People can dress up as anything. I mean, how many times do you second guess your friend dressed as a vampire that he or she might actually drink blood in their spare time? Or what about that witch who might like bat wings baked into their favorite dish?
All I'm saying is that I hope people don't read anything into my little cousin's foray into women's clothing.
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