Sunday, January 03, 2010

Safe spaces

I made a mistake this New Years that hurt someone. It wasn't a physical hurt, but more of a trustful hurt.

We all make mistakes. If I could take it back, I would...in a heartbeat. If I could have changed how things unfolded, I would have. I wish things would have been different...but they aren't.

And now I have hurt the trust built between the two of us.

I have a hard time lying. Always have. And, in this case, I thought we were in a safe space. I was wrong.

We transsexuals can be so fragile. Our securities are not held at banks or in trusts...we wear them like paper hats and expect them to keep the rain off of us. Most importantly, though, we never expect our friends to pull our hats off.

5 comments:

Kelly said...

Things happen, don't beat yourself up.

Jessica Lyn said...

I'm sorry hun. I know I don't know anything about this event but as it sometimes said, things that hurt us can also make us stronger, right? Maybe this event will help your friendship grow in the future.

Having read your blog for some time now, I can tell you're kind and caring person. I'm sure your friend knows this to be true as well and that you would never have intentionally done something to hurt them. Just give it some time for the wounds to heal.

Anonymous said...

"You're not how much money you've got in the bank. You're not your job. You're not your family, and you're not who you tell yourself. You're not your name. You're not your problems. You're not your age. You are not your hopes. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else."

So how about instead of "transsexuals can be so fragile." instead "i am so fragile." i don't think you can speak for an approximate 20,000 individuals (in the United States alone).

That is also the number of refugees in Israel. I wonder if they feel fragile?

Fat Bastardo said...

"Our securities are not held at banks or in trusts...we wear them like paper hats and expect them to keep the rain off of us. Most importantly, though, we never expect our friends to pull our hats off."

That's some good stuff! Sometimes it pays to wear a helmet.

I am here out of curiosity. I was watching an episode of House MD and there was a case of a person with AIS androgen deficiency syndrome. House's comment was, "how do you like that? The perfect woman is a man." I think that boys are socialized to deal with our testosterone fueled aggression but girls are not. Genetic women can be brutal and think nothing of it. It sucks waling on egg shells for fear of offending someone who may need to be offended. Don't let people take advantage of your grace and gentleness.

I Fat Bastard am a greedy glutton who thinks only of himself. I am the epitome of the average ugly American. I am an offensive pig of a man who works hard at playing the victim but my hide is almost thicker than my blubber. Fat Bastard is my alter ego. I love him!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes people overreact to innocent comments made in good faith.