What is there to look forward to?

My dance class is having their end-of-semester performance show tomorrow night, and tonight was the dress rehearsal. I basically worked on one routine this year, and because I have electrolysis tomorrow night, I won’t be able to perform with them. I really wanted to, especially since I would have been the only “guy” there, although I might have come out to them before that since they’d probably want me to wear a tight shirt. After we finished our routine, they continued on as some of the more advanced members had worked on a few other routines on their own. As they ran through their routines, I drifted. And this was way off topic.

I started thinking about life again. What is there to look forward to? Why do we go through all the motions? Like I’ve mentioned before, I’m not going to kill myself, but seriously, what is there in life to look forward to? Love? Money? Happiness? Or does it all become mundane? What is it that we will continue to put our nose to the grindstone to make money for? Alcohol? Drugs? Sex?

I drove around after class to take care of some errands. I picked up some cash for electro, then stopped by the grocery store to grab some orange juice since I was out. I usually check the store to see if they have any specials on my favorite cereal simply because my cereal seems horribly expensive. It usually runs over $5 a box, and is NEVER on sale. Tonight, as I was walking back down the cereal aisle, I spot a 2 for 1 sale on my cereal. Yeah! I sat in the express lane with one large orange juice jug and 6 boxes of cereal. That was it. What a dork, huh?

As I was walking out, I realized what there is to look forward to....the moment. We all live for the moment...whatever that moment may be. For me, in this instance, it was saving a few bucks on my favorite cereal. I am SO easy to please. But that moment is different for everyone....getting married, being proposed to, competing in a big event, having a child, making a birthday wish....and the list goes on and on. I think those that are in love have a lot more moments they can look forward to, especially with a person they want to share their life with. For me though, I guess I am dating a box of cereal.

The after party

I stopped by Claire’s tonight. She had a little “party” going on with her, Corinne, Amy, and myself first there, then with Elaine (one of Claire’s GG friends who just found out like 2 weeks ago) and Vivianne showing up later on. Claire was still drifting in and out with the pain meds and recovery. Corinne, Amy, and I just kinda sat around and chatted for a while. Elaine returned Claire’s cats that she had been watching for the last few days...with the cats keeping us fairly entertained for a while. Vivianne made it over just before I departed while dropping Corinne off at the Cocoon House.

Work has been crazy lately, and combined with visiting Claire, I haven’t had much sleep lately. Perhaps tonight I’ll get a little.

I received a mysterious phone call tonight...possible details in the future.

Claire out of the OR

Pulled from my post on GenderPeace:

Claire came out of the OR sometime just after 5pm PST. I arrived slightly before 8pm to find Vivianne already in her room who said they had just wheeled her in. We stayed until about 11:30 to make sure she was doing OK.

Most of her responses over the first hour or so where mainly just "uuugggghhhhh" but she was able to tell us later that her throat was sore and she was thirsty. The nurses weren't too big on letting her drink anything since she was in and out of consciousness and they were afraid she would choke. [Note to self: take a spray bottle of water]

They had the pain meds already running, then hooked up the suction and IV after a while. At that point, most of her conversation was "I feel like shit." We spent a little time educating her on the pain-med button, with her taking to that pretty fast. We also did a little manual suction and hooked the air tubing back up to the leg massage machine that probably came loose after an accidental kick. (Claire was a little tall for the bed)

Claire then became conscious enough to again request water, and instead of running off for the nurse, I gave her a sip. She seemed to like that. She also wanted a mirror, but I said that wouldn't be a good idea, and that she was doing OK...plus there weren't any mirrors around

Then, Claire wants me to hurry and take a picture of her before she pukes or loses consciousness again. OK, now, Claire never lets me take her picture while she is looking fabulous, but here she had Princess Leia blood bags, tubes sticking out of her bloodstained mouth, gauze wrapped around half of her head, a wrapped nose, a swollen jaw, and two black eyes...and she wants me to take a picture of her. Imagine the irony.

Anyway, Claire had the usual bruising around the eyes and was doing OK with the Princess Leia blood bags. The color in her cheeks was really good, although she was probably feeling like butt. The nurses said she will probably be feeling much better on Tuesday.

Going to get some sleep now....Kara

Weed whacking

I had 4 hours of electro last night, taking out most of the weeds in my goatee area. The only ones left there are just beneath my bottom lip. Yep, over 225 hours, and we’re still not clearing my face in 4 hours. Whew...I have such a long way to go it feels like. Actually, I think the goatee area is the densest area of facial hair, because the rest of the face is thinning out quite nicely. Next week we’ll probably whack out the bottom lip hairs, then move to the rest of the areas. I have 10 more hours scheduled for this month on top of the 4 hours I have already had, plus at least 16 hours scheduled for January. I can have electrolysis up to two weeks before FFS, which means I have to stop right around the beginning of February. I’d really like to get an additional 10 hours in sometime before then, but I don’t know if she’ll be able to arrange time or not.

Speaking of FFS, Claire is headed under the knife this coming AM. I’ll be up in the neighborhood tomorrow night, and will swing by the hospital to check up on her. Claire is the first person I have known before FFS who I will see after as well.


Put your left foot in, put your left foot out.

Tonight, I was down at a contestant meeting for the Cotillion. We worked with Denae Doyle on feminine stance, poise, gestures, and walk. Actually, these were mainly pageant concerns, since she even admitted that gestures for a pageant are over the top. Anyway, the walking stuff is great, and although walking in heels makes it easier to walk like a woman, walking with pageant presence helps a lot when knowing the little secrets. Although I can’t quite fully describe it in words, I’ll provide a basic description of the pageant pose. Face forward, turn left foot 45 degrees left, lift right foot up so all of your weight is back on the left foot and slide it so that your right heel is pointed at the middle of your left foot, angle your right foot about 10-20 degrees off your left foot, bring your right knee in toward your left leg, but rotate the knee in about 20 degrees while doing so, then twist your upper body about as far to the right as you can while keeping your shoulders back, boobs out, and arms/hands down at your side in a relaxed position. Head up...and smile, smile, smile. I learned most of that in the play I performed in back in May, which kinda helps since I’ve done some of this before. She definitely helped with the walking and turning part, as well as the presentation right in front of the judges. Now it’s just practice, practice, practice.

Brooke and I caught some Korean BBQ after the regular TGSF board member meeting. Brooke is still able to eat a ton and not gain weight, and her development is moving along incredibly. I’m impressed. I’d hate to have seen what she could have done if she was like 23 instead of 33. I called Claire to let her know she might have met her match when it came to Korean BBQ, but I mainly called her to let her know everything would be OK. She’s taken a few Valium today....and doing a little floating in the clouds....so hopefully she’ll get a little sleep tonight before her surgery tomorrow morning.

Where do we go now

Last night I had dinner with a few of the local GPer’s and a few that were visiting. Claire, JoanB, Amy, Tyler, and I welcomed Corinne and Vivianne. Corinne was headed to surgery with Dr. O this morning while Vivianne was visiting for a consult next week. Claire is headed for zip-ah-dee-doo-dah-ville on Monday as well. I’ll be up in the city Monday evening with another planning meeting, so I’ll probably try to stop by and see how she is doing. I know she was very nervous last night, just like Corinne, who was so nervous, she didn’t even feel like eating anything. I think both of them were going to look at some Valium to help settle their nerves. Great. More drugs for me to look forward to. Just what I wanted. Please detect the sarcasm in my voice there.

I made it back to the pharmacy this afternoon, picked up the painkillers with a new script, AND remembered to check the parking meter before going inside. Yeah! Unfortunately, I’m still fighting a stupid cold...thus, I’m at home tonight instead of at electro.

The last time I went to electro with a cold, my electrologist ended up catching it from me, which was not cool. So, this time I called her and said it was her call. She moved me to Saturday so I could have one more day of rest...which should hopefully turn out for the best.

Otherwise, it’s just me and Boobers again...which reminds me, I need to take her out really fast.

Out of it

I’m still not feeling so hot today. I went to work for the first half because I needed to run my meeting. Unfortunately, only Robi showed up for it. I think the rest were either out sick or in training. Oh well.

I took off about 1pm, then decided to pick up some zinc lozenges and have my pain killer prescription filled for this Friday. As I was standing in line, I noticed that the script says it has to be filled within 14 days of being written, which was more than 14 days ago. Doh! What a bonehead. They suggested getting another one filled out and giving the old one back. Damn! I only have 2 days to do that.

When I walked to my car, I found a parking ticket on it. Bonehead forgot to feed the parking meter before she went in to the pharmacy. I am so out of it today. At least I picked up the lozenges.

Well, at least one good thing happened today. I picked up the mail after arriving home from the pharmacy, and found a note from the courts. I have a court date for my name change. So cool!!! After that, I zonkered out for 2 hours. Even tonight, I can feel I need more rest. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

I was able to IM chat with Courtney in her hotel room. She’s recovering from her breast augmentation and trachea shave from Monday. She says she’s still in some serious pain and there is some incredible swelling. That doesn’t sound like any fun.

Making it out alive

I’m back from visiting my family in the Midwest for Thanksgiving. ooooffff.

After the little Friday night spell, I was worried how we all were going to make it 2 more days until I flew back. We were able to throw a little more effort into completing her family room, as well as sitting down for some card games, in order to make it until I flew out yesterday.

Saturday, we went out for dinner, and afterward went to Lowe’s to pick up a few items to finish off her family room. As we were walking in, a guy walks up to me and shakes my hand. He’s an old high school friend. I barely recognized him as he first approached me. I told him I was surprised that he recognized me (I was in boy mode). He then said, “I guess we just don’t change that much.”

I said, “You’d be surprised” and kinda chuckled.

I flew in girl-mode again because I was meeting a T-friend in Dallas during my 1.5 hour layover there. I called Lauren when I reached the terminal, and we were able to meet up in Terminal A. We sat outside security and just talked. I was hoping we could grab a bite to eat as well, but there weren’t any restaurants outside of security, and Lauren couldn’t get past security since she didn’t have a boarding pass. This new security kinda sucks. Time went by fast, though, and I was headed back to the gate to jump on the plane back to San Francisco. Unfortunately, we sat on the tarmac in Dallas waiting for a landing spot back in San Francisco since they were having rainy weather. That wasn’t fun, especially with the tickle in my throat growing worse and worse.

Every time I’ve gone home lately, I seem to get sick. Last Thanksgiving I picked up a bug from my family that hit me hard the night before Thanksgiving leaving me an appetite-less heap of pathetic sorrow. This time, my nephew and mom were a little sick with a cold, and I think I picked it up. Sure enough, tonight, my throat is still sore. I fixed some soup and chicken tonight in the hopes of knocking it down before it gets much worse.