Vendor

I was in yet another meeting with a vendor this morning, when she tells me she will be taking a trip to the company I used to work for. She's going there to discuss business and sales stuff.

Unfortunately, I'm out to my old employer...and since it's in a small town in middle America, not all of them responded well. Because my vendor knows that I used to work there, she will probably bring my name up to people that know about me. With the statewide non-discrimination policy going into effect Jan 1, and full time status looming on the horizon, I’m just not going to get this close and have it all taken away from me. Yeah, I'm being totally pessimistic about my job, but you have to walk side by side with reality.

Should I come out to her before she visits my old company, or should I tell my former company to please not mention the TS stuff? My fear is that one of my former co-workers will mention it, and then she would not have heard it directly from me, at which point I am afraid that the news will travel back to my current company.

Well, after talking to Susan this afternoon and Jamie at my old company, they both said what I was thinking....come clean to her because it's going to be harder to shut all of my old coworkers up if my name is mentioned during her visit.

So, I called her late this afternoon and told her I was a transsexual.

She laughed.

I said, "I'm serious."

She said, "You're kidding me."

I said, "no."

She apologized for laughing and then we had a short conversation on the situation. She understood and said she would keep it to herself.

I hate telling people in person, or over the phone. I just don't get good reactions. People need their space when reacting to this situation, and telling them in person just doesn’t give them the room they need to come to grips with it. I prefer telling people via a letter or email, which allows them to respond in any initial manner they choose without hurting me, or thinking that they are hurting me.

What's even worse is when they think I am kidding. I guess I am just doing the guy thing too well. It would be nice once in a while if they would say "oh, yeah, we knew...we were just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to tell us." Oh well, I guess the positive side is I'm still doing well at acting like a man.