It’s not a constant problem, but it does exist to a degree. It’s sorta like the ocean tides; it comes and goes, and it eats away with the gentle pounding.
I wrote earlier this month that I was happy. I’ve come to realize that I’ll probably never be happy. I’m happier than I was, yes, but I’ll truly never be where I’d like to be. I’ll never have my fully female body, nor my youth as a girl. Sometimes I wonder if my facial hair will ever go away, and will people in my family be able to accept me (well, those that don’t already). Sure, I’m whining. I have a lot going for me – but we all have things we’d like to get past. They weigh on me. I can say, “hey, I can’t help how they feel about me” – but in reality I still care for them even though they have shut me out of their life.
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