Fishtails

I was driving to class tonite, and I almost had a car crash in to me. I was driving the usual crowded route with the usual slow spots. I saw the cars slowing ahead of me, so I started applying the brake, pressing down hard as traffic came to a complete stand still. I have a tendency when reaching a sudden stop to then look in the mirror hoping that no one is going to crash in to me. I looked in the mirror whispering “don’t hit me, don’t hit me.” As I did, I saw a vehicle moving pretty fast slam on their brakes and suddenly fishtail. They stopped just short of me.

Typically, one, including me, would be frightened in that type of situation. I’ve been rear ended twice and had a couple of close calls, all the time watching the vehicles suddenly close in on mine.

Once the car reached a fishtailing stop, I broke out in uncontrollable laughter. I couldn’t stop. Honestly, I have no idea what exactly I was laughing at.

Was I laughing at the dumbass that almost ran into me, that I didn’t have to deal with everything that comes with car repair, or because the whole thing probably left the person shitting their pants. (I’m almost laughing again simply typing this.) Or, was it because I “cheated death” this one time? Death has always scared me, but not as much anymore. I guess I’m a lot happier finally being me, and I feel a certain completeness in a portion of my life. I’d rather not die for quite some time, but for now, I just enjoy laughing at people who need to clean out their underwear.