Glow in the dark boobies

I was scanning thru my roomie’s Maxim magazine today. Yes, he gets Maxim. If I see something that catches my eye, I look thru it.

After seeing the very attractive, and yet, not overly curvy woman on the cover, I figured I would see what other pictures they had of her. I’m not overly curvy either, and I wanted to see if I compared in any way to her. Plus, she was hot.

I scanned thru the index of articles only to spot an article about a man with breast implants. It appears someone bet him $100,000 seven or eight years ago that he couldn’t go a year with breast implants. He won the bet, and yet, 8 years later, he still has the implants. He says chicks dig them and he doesn’t want to go thru surgery again. If you ask me, he likes them, and he doesn’t want to give them up...but he doesn’t want to state that outright since people might think he was weird or something...as if having them in the first place isn’t weird. He seems to think that all women are lesbians, and that it gives them a chance to act out that desire (or fantasy) by pretending he is a woman yet he is actually a man. He even says he shaves them before going out on dates.

Believe it or not, I think everyone should have boobs. The world would be such a better place. Instead of men waging wars, they’d all be at home feeling themselves up. When I was just out of college, I had a male roomie tell me that if he had boobs, he’d never leave his room. The world revolves around boobs. They seriously garnish a lot of attention...I know that.

I was at a conference in LA last week, and there were definitely a lot of men trying to get their ‘hellos’ in. I know the sales guys are supposed to do that anyway, but this was a significant improvement over the appearance I made there 2 years ago...as a guy. I placed my name badge over my stomach, so I wasn’t really able to determine if they were looking at that or my cleavage, but being a woman at a conference with a high number of men makes things quite easy when trying to talk with the vendors. Of course, I have no idea if they respect what I am saying or not, but they seemed to do fairly well.

Even the guy on the plane back seemed to pay me a bit of respect...complimenting me that I was both brains and beauty after finding out we both went to the same show and that I was an engineer. We talked for a good portion of the ride home. He told me he’d had a couple of beers that afternoon after skipping out of the convention early, and had one on the flight home. As we neared our destination, he even asked me out. Why have the two people who have ever hit on me or asked me out been ‘under the influence’?

So, back to the article. When the reporter covering the story about the ‘man with boobs’ first showed up, the guy holds up two flashlights to his breasts while they stand in a darkened bathroom. “Don’t they look alien” he says as his breasts light up.

The theory sounds solid. If you hold up a light to your finger, it glows red since we’re mainly made out of water and the thickness of the finger isn’t too much. The same principle would work for breasts as long as there isn’t too much tissue between the skin and the implant. If light made it to the implant, it would refract inside, right?

So, I grabbed a flashlight and turned off all of the lights in my bathroom. I turned on the flashlight and held it up to the underside of my breast and wouldn’t you know it, the implant inside lights up with this eerie red glow (similar to this). It’s actually pretty wicked. Glow in the dark boobies. It might make one hell of a Halloween costume.