About a month and a half ago, my mom was diagnosed with cancer again. Yes, it has returned. They decided to pursue a different course of chemotherapy this time, followed by a bone marrow transplant. Her first chemo was 3 weeks ago. This week is her second session. She has one more in 3 weeks, and hopefully, based on being in remission or not, heads off for the bone marrow procedure. If she’s not in remission, they say there is nothing else they can do...which is not something I really want to think about.
Because some alumni activities were being held this coming weekend as well, I decided to fly home and help take care of my mom during her session.
My mom and I were able to chat quite a bit this morning while she sat in her chair as the IV dripped into her port. She told me about her doctor, the facility, the whole gist of her bone marrow procedure...I told her I was asked out.
“Man or woman?”
“Woman. And she’s really cute, Mom. We’re supposed to set something up when I get back to town.”
After eating lunch with my dad, I helped my mom arrange her medical information similar to how I arranged all of my surgical information during my surgeries. I told her it was easier to keep it all arranged and in order so if she or anyone else had questions about her procedures, it was all right there...especially since she is going between facilities. Of course, my parents tend to forget more stuff now, so it’s best to have all of it neatly organized so that when they do forget, it is easily accessible.
My mom drifted off to sleep for the rest of the afternoon. I checked in on her once in a while. Chemotherapy is such a silent beast. As my mom lay there in the chair, her hair cropped short as it begins to fall out again, she looked so peaceful. Yet, there in that bag of clear liquid that slowly dripped into her chest port were strong chemicals attempting to bring her body
so close to death to kill the cancer, but far enough away to allow her to survive. And the pain she endures is only visible in her hair as it falls out. Sure, she becomes tired. She loses her appetite. She feels like butt.
Even going through all of that, she keeps her chin up. She's stared straight into the eyes of cancer and hasn't backed down...but it's such a huge creature to defeat. It comes at you from all sides...and the worst part, it comes at you from inside. It's your own body harboring the evil beast.
All I can do now is just try to be there when I can...maintain contact, and be a voice of positive support.
8 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I've been there with a family member myself. So I know how tough it is on everyone. I,m hoping all goes well for you and your family. I'd also like to thank you for your help and advice, I'm seeing a therepist this week for the first time.
You know the whole family is out here praying for your mom, right?
Yeah, I know, Jack. The extended family is helping out a ton with all of the stuff she has coming up. It is very much appreciated.
Since your mom has been through this before, I'm sure she will beat it again as she sounds like a fighter. You and the extended family being there for her is probably helping more than you know.
All this has really gotten me start thinking about my own life and how I really need to start HRT and see a therapist. But money is so tight I don't know how I will ever afford any of this.
I just wanted you to know how much of a positive support your blog has been for me. I think we've only emailed a couple of times a while back, but I read your blog all the time. If you're ever in AZ, please email me... I'd love to meet you.
Sorry to hear about your Mum, I know from experience how hard this is on families Your Mum sounds strong and the couple of times we met in the Cocoon House I know that you are too. Thinking of you.
My heart goes out to you, your mother and the rest of your family. I'm a nurse and I see how hard something like that can be on the patient and the family. My prayers go out to your mother.
I would also like to say how much your blog has helped buoy me in bad times and through my transition. With the strength I received through your writings on May 15th I went full-time and became the first openly transgender nurse on Cape Cod. Life has never been so great....
Chin up girl scout *sends a BIG virtual hug!*
Zoe
It seems sooo long ago,i've been reading your posts forever,and sent ya a few emails to wish you well,after your surgeries and after someone robbed you.I spent eleven years taking care of my mom,i'd do it again in a second.I'm glad you went to help your mom,i'm crying as i type this,sorry,anyway i wish your mom the best,she sounds like a very awesome and brave mom.Should have posted before this,like i said in my emails,your posts have helped me and so many others.I've accomplished alot since the last time i emailed and am so much closer being able to get my surgery,My name change should be legal in a few weeks,the paperwork and the courts are taking longer than i'd like,can you say anxious! I have an lj,it's nc_cinegirl,ya can google it and click on user if ya want,again,i wish only the best for your mom. best wishes,Keri
my thoughts are with you and your mom, Kara. every little thing you do now will just help you, your mom, and the rest of the family down the road.
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