When I first came out, it was a very taxing thing to do. Telling people what you are about to embark on, and experiencing their reactions was very difficult. It became so hard to do that I left some of it to my mom and family. It's been basically 3.5 years since I first came out, and almost 3 years since I stopped having to come out to people.
I suppose coming out to a good friend that I have known for the past 2 years was a little harder than I thought it would be. She's never indicated that she knew, and for the most part, I thought she would handle it OK. Unfortunately, since she is dating the friend of the girl I am seeing, I felt it was time to inform her...mainly in case word leaked after I came out to the girl I am starting to date.
"Hey Leia, I have something important to tell you and I'm not exactly sure how to say it."
"Hmm...ok. Just say it."
"Well.......I was born with both male and female parts." (Some people might consider this lying, but it's an easier way of breaking someone in to the whole transgender thing. And, yes, in this case, I am considering my mind/brain to be the female part.)
"Hmmpphh. Really?"
"Yeah. And I lived as a guy for quite a while."
We chatted longer about some of the details...including how recently I transitioned (over 3.5 years ago). She seemed to do OK with it. In the past, she's mentioned some transgender topics, and although she didn't seem to have any issues with transgender people, she had perspectives on some aspects that weren't totally favorable...although, not really negative, either. It's OK, though, because I've known some T's with the same perspectives. And, really, you can't get the T perspective until you are really aware of the full situation. She did tell me, though, that she is helping a young FTM pay for hormones...which made me think some of her views might have been more for FTM's than MTF's.
Anyway, things went well...and I explained to her why I came out...because she knows the girl I am starting to date. I also explained why I was taking things a little slow with her...so she could get to know me first. She asked when I was going to tell her, and I said it would likely be sometime late this week or into the weekend. We'll see how it goes.
1 comment:
I can't believe it's been that long,like i've said i've read your journals from the beginning and gone thru three names before making Keri legal.I'm now into the telling people part and trying to come out at work.I moved from my home in conn.to NC. and i'm trying to figure the best way to tell them,i was thinking of a Christmas card with a pic of the new me and my awesome dog ;) I bet telling people doesn't get easier,i hope things continue to go well for you,hit another grand slam for me!
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