Out of it

I ate lunch through a straw yesterday. I woke up just fine, but during the morning, I just seemed to move into this state of not feeling so well. I wasn't tired, I wasn't alert, I wasn't in pain...I just felt out of it. My stomach didn't feel too queasy, but something just didn't feel right.

I ran a few errands before picking up my liquid lunch, and on my way back to work, I saw someone driving the exact same car that I was driving. We caught eye of one another, and each of us waved. It was that little cosmic bond, or something, of meeting someone with your exact same taste in something. Being out of it and also feeling that cosmic bonding was kinda weird. It almost seemed like a dream, in a way.

Today, I still felt a little out of it. My mom called this afternoon, and said that the latest tests were showing some possibilities that the cancer is back. She's been running a consistent temperature and losing more weight...big indicators that something is amiss. She told me before her last session in November that she didn't want to go through any more treatments, and that the cancer usually came back sooner after each treatment if she wasn't in remission.

I talked to my dad a little afterward. Mom isn't in good spirits. I don't blame her...I'm pretty out of it again tonight. The news puts this uneasy feeling in the back of your mind. I'm worried about my mom, but there isn't much I can do but try to lend my support.