About a month or so ago, there was a local accident involving 3 cyclists and a sheriff’s deputy patrol car. The cyclists were in a larger group pedaling in the area hills on a Sunday morning. They were going up-hill at the time. A sheriff’s deputy was on duty and driving down the hill. At some point, the deputy fell asleep and crossed over the center line, head on into 2 of the cyclists. A third rider was nearly right behind the front two and was also injured.
The first rider, a male, was instantly killed. The second rider, a female, had her foot sheared off and was barely breathing. The third rider had a broken collarbone and survived. The fourth rider, the first one upon the scene and who was not injured, basically held the woman in his arms until she died. She was an Olympic hopeful.
Besides the loss of life, the deputy will be scarred for life. He was seen immediately outside his patrol car saying he fell asleep and that his life is over. He’s probably right.
Three people lost their lives that day...the two cyclists and the deputy. Another ended up injured. Even more ended up losing their friends, lovers, and family.
And all of this happened with a tolerance likely less than 5 seconds. If the cyclists had been a few seconds slower, hanging back with the fourth rider, they would be OK. If they had been a few seconds faster, the car never would have hit them and the deputy would just be marking up his accident that he fell asleep. Or, what if the deputy had taken 5 seconds less time somewhere along his morning...or slept in one minute later or one minute earlier.
It seems so unfair. Yes, I know life is unfair, but why does it have to be both unfair and so cruel.
The whole situation reminds me of this time as a kid. My dad and I were at the military bowling alley in late winter. There were still remnants of snow in the parking lot. As we walked to our car, I made a snowball and threw it at him. He laughed, and threw some back. We had our own little impromptu snowball fight. After a few minutes, though, my bare hands were likely very cold and we called it a truce.
The route home took us along an overpass. On the other side of the overpass, a side road teed into our road at an elevated level. As we approached, we saw a car down the side embankment that hadn’t braked as it neared our road and had crashed through the guard rail. It had happened less than a minutes before we arrived. I stayed in the car, but my dad got out to check on things.
There were no cell phones or 911 then, so help would have to arrive via someone calling on a land line. Luckily, there were others who stopped just before us, so they checked to see if the guy was OK.
My dad and I continued home. I even pondered to him what would have happened if we hadn’t had that snowball fight...would we have been sideswiped by the car and forced down the embankment, too?
The deputy running over the cyclists made me remember that childhood event. It also made me realize that my fears when out riding my bicycle in the past were not so far fetched. All it took was one person to lose control of their vehicle or simply not pay attention for a few seconds and I would be road kill.
My dad said we were lucky. We were.
I worry about some of the same stuff when out running. In college, a number of runners in our group were almost hit by a car once. Well, I think it actually glanced off a few of us, but no one was really injured at all. The lead runner in our group wasn’t looking to see if the car we were running in front of actually saw us before the car turned into the road we were running along. That little event has led me to always ensure I made eye contact before I ran in front of a car that was making a turn. And even now, I still often times run out of my way to run behind the car so I don’t even have to worry about it...because sometimes I can’t tell if they see me or not.
I don’t know how any of this relates to any trans-issues. I guess it doesn’t....but it reminded me of a childhood event that made me ponder. There are numerous people that have affected my life, and there are numerous people whose lives I have affected. I have two friends that are married and have children, but I don’t know if either of them would have met their current wives if I hadn’t seen a little job posting in the newspaper a long time ago. None of us would have ended up working together for a few years.
And maybe I wouldn’t have had a friend that got married the same weekend I was in Ohio for work and the same weekend as Columbus, Ohio’s Gay Pride event where I saw my first transsexual. And maybe I wouldn’t have seen that little job posting in the newspaper about a biotech firm in California, or ever even searched for a new job. I could be plugging away at my old job trying to make things work....and driving my inner self into a place I could never escape unharmed.
Perhaps all of our little connected stories merge and provide the guidance, courage, opportunity...something...for the rest of us. All of our transitions combine to add validity to one another's paths. Take for example, a 10-year-old girl named Lucia (thanks to Becca for the link). She was born male but told her mom at a very early age that she was a girl. Her mom listened. I think more and more parents are doing that now, but the numbers are still low...but as more and more stories are told, the potential tragedies are being lessened. People are keeping their jobs more and more. People are keeping their family members and friends. More importantly, though, hopefully fewer trans-children are killing themselves.
Plus or minus five seconds. It’s amazing how all of our life’s little decisions create such a complex bigger picture mingled with one another.
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