Saying good-bye to Courtney

Today has been hard. It was not a day I was looking forward to, and yet, I knew it would come.

Before I talk about it, though, I want to talk about yesterday. Courtney fixed her favorite breakfast....chocolate chip pancakes. I’ve never really been a pancake fan, but I tried them. They were pretty decent. I guess I’ve always just been too much of a cereal fan to prepare anything other than the normal. I might start making some special breakfasts on Sundays, though, since it’s an old family tradition as well.

I had to go to some TGSF meetings in the afternoon, then took off once they were complete. Court and I grabbed some pizza again. It seems that’s another of her favorites. We worked a little on my voice then picked up my roomie at the airport when he came back a little early.

Last night, as we were getting ready for bed, I sat in bed thinking about her leaving today. I started crying. I tried to hide it, but the sniffling was pretty noticeable. I grabbed a tissue and wiped away the tears. Courtney sniped, “You better knock that shit off!” as she was washing her face.

I tried to recover and said, “What?” in a nice calm manner.

“Oh, I thought you were crying,” she responded.

I was.

We woke up early this morning and I knew it was going to be extremely hard. I cried in the shower. On our way to the airport we were both fairly silent. I made a comment and looked over at her, and she was crying. I instantly started crying myself. I grabbed some tissue as we departed from the car. We checked her in then walked to the area near security. The line wasn’t short, but it also wasn’t long. I told her it would probably be best if she headed out to get through security in a timely manner.

We hugged...we cried. I hugged her again, with my arms around her midsection like a small child hugging their parent. I didn’t want to see her go. I don’t know why exactly, but I connected so well with her. We have a lot in common, yet we’re both quite distinct. I told her she’d better go. I walked back toward the garage, but hung out in the empty baggage claim area and cried some more. I waited long enough to assure myself that she was through security. I cried on my way to work, but was able to dry my eyes by the time I walked in. I almost started crying again during the morning hours. I was hoping that Court would call during her layover in Chicago, and she did. I was glad to hear her voice. I asked her to call me again when she got home. She called a few hours later to let me know she’d made it. After work, I cried on my way home.

I went most of my life bottling up my emotions, and letting them flow freely is finally so fulfilling, but why does it have to be so hard to say goodbye to someone you care about?