The DMV and Social Security

After having a little cereal for breakfast, scrambled eggs for lunch (for 14 of the last 16 days), and taking a short nap, I was off to the DMV and Social Security office to obtain a new license and SS card. Because the California DMV is so packed, I made an appointment many weeks ago...before I even went under the knife. I got in line to obtain a placement number, and when I got to the front desk, he asked me what I was there for. I said I was there for a name change...and a gender change. I then handed him form DL 328, a gender change form put out by the DMV. He says, "You need to go to Social Security first. And you’ll have to send this form to your agency."

The majority of people I’d talked to up to that time said I needed to go to the DMV first, and then go to Social Security right after that. I told this to him, but he adamantly stated I had to go to SSA first. Great! Then I asked him, "What type of agency are you talking about with that form?"

He kinda bumbled about trying to come up with an answer, and then just blankly said, "Your agency."

I answered with, "That's a DMV form."

His response, "Oh."

Basically, though, he wouldn't give me a number until after I went to SSA. At that point I basically thought, "Great, this is going to take forever...and I’ll be spending all of Tuesday in here sitting and staring at the walls waiting to get my license." So, off I went to change my name with SSA as well. After a 50 minute wait there, I was in to see one of their personnel. Both people I talked to up to that time asked me if I was just changing the middle name...but I corrected them and said it was the first and the middle names. Anyway, the lady was very professional as she asked me if everything was correct. I'd filled out the form and circled F, but there was still an M on the paper I was checking. Darn! So, I decided to ask her what was needed to change the M to an F as I pulled out the DMV form that my therapist already filled out. She took the information and was off to ask her manager. Her manager came back and said they would have to check with someone who'd already gone home to see if I could have an F instead of an M. At least they are willing to check. They kept looking at my court order, but since I just had the name change and not the gender change as well (which requires SRS), they weren’t sure what to do. I wasn't born in California, so I won't go through that side of the court stuff here, anyway. Hopefully the face presented well enough so they will issue it with an F. The only bad thing about having an M on the social security part of things is if I change employers and they see an M on the Social Security part of my information. Anyway, they said they would let me know by Wednesday.

So, after leaving there right at 4pm (and their closing time), I decided to head back over to the DMV to see if I could still get in. There was a different person at the front desk, and I explained to her that I had an earlier appointment and that I had been told I needed to go to SSA first. She gave me a number, I went to the bathroom, then sat down. Not even a few minutes later and they were calling my number. It appears that the appointment still gave me priority. The guy that helped me was very professional and quite helpful. He even gave back my male driver’s license when I requested it in order to be able to provide evidence of who I was during this name/gender change bit. His manager, who he had asked a few questions of during my little visit, told him he had to keep the driver’s license and ID card I had provided, but he still gave back the driver’s license because he could tell I preferred to have it. He saw no harm. So, after taking a new picture and signing my new name a few times, I was out of there with a temporary license that had Kara on it, along with a big fat F! I was really expecting not to finish it all today, but I did it.

Upon returning home, I decided to stop by the manager's office to say hi with the new face. I wrote them a letter about a week ago telling them about my situation. I think one or two of them might have known since I’ve seen one of them a few times while I was out as Kara. When I poked my head in the office, everything seemed pretty good. She recognized me right away and asked me how I was doing. She also requested a copy of the name change, just to keep things legal.

I went to dinner with Rachel, Claire, Tyler, Amy, and Ali who is visiting from the UK to have FFS tomorrow. It was also my first time to meet Rachel, who looks and sounds incredible. I was also glad Rachel was there after we finally decided on a little Italian place to eat...she was able to tell me what everything was. Ali was nervous the entire night as she continued to play with her hair, but hopefully we calmed her spirits knowing she has friends that will visit the Cocoon House. She also got to see a wide spectrum of Dr. O graduates. Rachel was about 1.5 years postop, Claire is at 3 months, Tyler is 6 months on the top, and 2 weeks on the bottom, and I am just shy of 3 weeks.

Tyler and I were the slow walkers on our trek to dinner. After the DMV and SSA fiasco, I was wearing out. Tyler’s feet also started hurting on our walk, but I was doing ok in my boots, even though they have a heel on them. They’re my Easy Spirit boots. OK, like I mentioned before, the store had a lot of shoes that had both comfort and style in mind. When I told Robi about my selection, she goes, "That store is for older women...like my mom!" OK, so I shop in the old women's shoe store...the shoes are much more comfy, although I only have one pair. When I was shopping in Macy’s the other day, I noticed a table of Easy Spirit shoes there as well, and one women closer to my age was looking at them. I don’t remember if a salesperson made a comment or something, but she blurts, "I don’t care...I want comfort!!!" I just smiled and thought about saying, "Oh, I hear ya...and completely understand."