Misery Loves Company

Last night, I just hung out and watched TV. I spotted one channel that had deaf families debating whether or not to have cochlear implants for their children. One family was more into preserving the deaf culture, while the other pondered giving their child a chance at a normal life. The debate then centered on what was normal, and that a deaf child could still have a normal life.

The way I see it, why not give a child a chance at a regular life. We have technology to enable some people to hear again. There are some that say that misery loves company, and that they are just trying to keep more people deaf so that they won’t be all alone.

This topic also rings true in the TS world. There are some TS out there that say transition wasn’t hard for them or that they have had remarkable physical results with their transition. They’ll say that their SRS results were wonderful, they have sex with guys, and have plenty of orgasms. In truth, though, there are some girls that have major troubles with transition, both physical and psychological. Some TS have so many troubles with their SRS that they basically can’t have sex, or the sex they do have is not pleasing. Problems range from inability to orgasm, to inability to accommodate their partner, to unpleasing aesthetics. A lot of these girls, just in general, end up alone, and thus will lie to get other girls to go through the same thing and join them in their misery.

I cannot exist as a woman with a penis. It’s not fulfilling to me. I will be pursuing SRS. I know the risks, but I follow the doctor’s guidelines on pursuing a complication free operation and recovery. I may be physically miserable afterward, but the psychological misery right now is definitely enough for me to know that SRS is the only answer.

For instance, a coworker whispered to me on Friday that a male friend of hers that came in to her desk to get something asked her who the cute girl was. He was referring to me. When she told me this, I whispered back, “Now, now...don’t cause any trouble.” Later that day, though, I queried her for more information on this guy who asked about me. But I mean, come on, I can’t do anything until after SRS...so why even tempt myself. Also, it’s probably better from a safety point that I not place myself in a situation where a pre-op transsexual gets her brain bashed in.

Speaking of being able to get out of having my brain bashed in, I made it out for a run along the bunny trail today. I ran, not hopped, most of the way, unlike this past week where I had a few short runs during my 3 mile walk. It felt good to get back out again, but I’m nowhere near where I was...but still able to outrun most would be attackers....I hope.