Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

The TGSF 2009 Cotillion was held this past weekend, and I, along with 2 other contestants ran for Ms. Transgender San Francisco. I ran this year for a couple of reasons. TGSF has struggled to have a solid number of contestants the past few years. When I competed in 2004, there were 8 of us. In 2005, just 5. The past few years, there have only been 3 at max. Also, a number of ExCom members have been looking to retire, so I challenged them that if they ran again, I’d run for Ms. TGSF...because we need for there to be leaders in the transgender world here in San Francisco. We need people to stand up, and be proud and united.

I was contestant #1 this year, Lisa was contestant #2, and Robin was contestant #3.

Lisa is tiny. She’s way shorter than me, and only weighs around 100 pounds, if even that. She looks good, and she has a decent music background to work with.

Robin is a little older than myself and has a great spirit about her. She is very perky, and her heart is warm and true.

Both were great contestants to have for this Cotillion experience.

Breaking down the different sections, I think we were all probably pretty even in the interview...the heaviest weighted section of the Cotillion. A lot of people don’t realize that 40% of the Ms. TGSF judging actually takes place before the Cotillion even starts. There were some hard questions, and I’m sure each of us had our strong and weak points. I know one of the questions came up about financial resourcefulness, and I really have no idea how to secure more funds for TGSF. It’s actually been a running issue. I know they discontinued membership dues while there is no newsletter being produced, but they have received some funds from the Gay Pride alcohol booth they have run the past few years.

For the active wear section, I think I did pretty good. I wore this really nice blue cocktail dress along with some new pumps I bought about 3 hours before the Cotillion started. I was lucky that my write-up fit in pretty nicely with the set props. I studied some of the Paris features, and incorporated them into my little sashay. I’ve always done fairly well in this section...where I try to work the crowd into the bit. Energy, baby, it’s all about energy.

Next up was the presentation, and I knew I would be weak on this one. I haven’t taken a dance class in a few years, so I had no dance routine to work with, and I’m not a singer, but I figured I’d give it a go and just try to put a lot of energy into it. (Hey, there’s that energy word again.)

I asked CJ Khing a few months ago if she would perform with me at the Cotillion. So, she played guitar while I sang "Changing Worlds". Basically, I borrowed the music from Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars", except I changed the words a bit to fit more in line with the T world. Here are the lyrics:

"Changing Worlds"

We’ll do it all
Everywhere
As ourselves.

We just need
Equality
For everyone.

If I stand here,
If I may stand here,
Would you stand with me and help me change the world.

I don’t quite know
Why they judge
Or call us names.

Hateful words
Are said too much
But that’s enough.

If I stand here,
If I may stand here,
Would you stand with me and help me change the world

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me your hand, I’ll hold it here until the end.

Let’s spend time
Changing worlds
Around ourselves.

We need our lives
To remind us
To find our way.

If I stand here,
If I may stand here,
Would you stand with me and help me change the world

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me your hand, I’ll hold it here until the end.

All that I am
All that we ever were
Is here in our hearts where no one else can seem to see.

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will change for us, I promise you.

If I stand here
If I may stand here
Would you stand with me and help me change the world?

When I first started singing on stage, I started to have the same paranoia come over me that happened a few months back when I was out doing karaoke with some friends. The flushness filled my face and I started to feel the pressure of all the eyes looking at me while I sang horribly. And then, I said, "fuck it"...they get to listen to how bad I can sing, but they also get to listen to my message.

We were cruising along fairly well until we hit the last slow verse. CJ jumped into the chorus one verse too early, so I was caught a little off guard. Luckily, CJ played it out and we were back on course to finish strongly.

Again, I know I’m not a singer, but I wrote those modified lyrics a while back and felt they really came together for a strong song. That, and I love the original "Chasing Cars" song.

Lisa performed an original song that she wrote. That was definitely her strong point. She played guitar while singing, so, as you can obviously tell, I'm very impressed.

Robin also performed an original piece of hers, but it was more of a dramatic monologue. They are hard to do, and I’m sure there are many ways to interpret her presentation. She finished strong, though, and got a good reaction from the crowd.

For the formal wear, I think I worked it similar to the active wear section. I wore an old dress from a few years back that fits really well. OK, it’s black, but I think you can still look good in black at the Cotillion. Granted, I haven’t seen many people win while wearing black, but I guess there is always a first.

In both the active wear and formal wear write-ups, I definitely had some fun with stuff. I made up as many "designer names that I could. In the formal wear portion, I listed my fake bracelet designer as Beret LaFavre as a little side joke. I doubt anyone heard it..or got it. I thought about wearing my Green Bay Packer earrings and listing Beret as the designer, but figured that might be a little overdoing it.

After the formal wear, it was time for the final question.

The first time I ran for Ms. TGSF, I blew it on the final question. The second time I ran, I was behind in points, and the eventual winner nailed her final question.

This time, I drew a question asking about what one single thing I could do as Ms. Transgender San Francisco to...well, to something. I don’t remember the exact question. Sigh. I’m getting old.

After having dinner with Carissa and Charlotte this past Thursday, Carissa was able to play that little bit on her camera...and we made out the question to be:

"What one thing would you do as Ms. TGSF to make the community at large more aware of trans issues?"

Anyway, I said that I enjoyed talking to organizations through the different speaker’s bureaus...but that there was one thing that not only I, or the other contestants, but everyone in the audience could do...and that was to be themselves...to live their lives.

I felt Lisa’s question was a bit tougher, and Robin ended up with one that had a number of touchy ways to answer it.

Once all of the judges turned in their scores, they pulled us back on stage for the final tally. Robin ended up with Ms. Congeniality and then they gave each of us a dozen roses. It’s nice that we were all able to at least walk away with the nice flowers.

The three of us locked arms on-stage as we awaited the announcement of who was the new Ms. TGSF. They always like to draw it out and make us anxiously await the announcement of the winner.

...and then Alex announced I was the winner.

Lisa, Robin and I did a group hug and I told them they did a great job. It becomes kind of a blur of flash bulbs after that. They gave me another dozen roses along with the tiara.

Ahh...the tiara. That thing is heavy, and it’s round, and it has trouble staying on my head. I’m going to have to engineer it a little so that it doesn’t come crashing down on something in the future. Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful...I just have to get it to stay on my head.


Anyway, after that, we took a bunch of photos out in the front lobby. One of my favorites is the three of us together. One of the hardest parts at that point was getting the smile to last for so long. At some point, the muscles that hold a smile start to get numb and you can’t tell if you are smiling anymore...or, at least that’s sorta what it felt like.

And, of course, there are so many camera's going off that you have no idea where to look for the next one.

As the picture requests dwindled, we made plans to hit the city. I was hoping to drive up with Carissa, who volunteered to help me backstage, but Ally and everyone else instructed me that I had to go in their car.

So, we cruised up to Marlena’s where I was introduced around the bar. I met both the reigning Emperor and Empress of San Francisco, as well as a number of other dignitaries.

We were going to meet Lisa and her assistant, Andrea, at the Starlight Room near Union Square after that, but it appeared to be shutting down at 2am, so we all crashed at a nearby diner, where we also ran into Laci from LA who was up for a gig.

By the time we made it out of there, it was well past 3am. By the time my head hit the pillow Saturday night, I was very tired, and even more tired when I got up early Sunday to attend the morning-after-breakfast. Had it been my way, I would have slept in, but I was to attend the morning after breakfast at the host hotel by 9am, so I ended up with about 4 hours of sleep, but it concluded a very fun night.

So, I’d like to thank some people.

Everyone that planned, organized, and implemented the 2009 Cotillion did a great job throwing everything together. Wendy managed a great raffle auction, Ally and Lisa produced a wonderful program, and Alex did a great job emceeing the event. Karen, the photographer in the lobby did a fantastic job of taking post-pictures, but also pictures throughout the program.

Lisa’s back stage assistant, Andrea, was great. She was a GG that knew Lisa from many years back. She helped everyone at different times and was great spirit backstage. She was also hawt!!!

I’d also like to thank Carissa for not only helping me backstage, but also helping everyone else who needed a little assistance. Both Carissa and Andrea came through in helping repair a wardrobe malfunction as well as helping make the backstage environment really warm.

Overall, it was a nicely run Cotillion, and I had a really good time running again. I guess the third time really is a charm.