February never meant anything to me in the past. Sure, it has that occasional leap day in it every 4 years or so, but it was always the short month. It was always a cold month. It was always a dreary month. Yeah, it has Valentine's Day right in the middle, but you have to have a loved one to really make it special.
On February 14th, 2004...over 5 years ago...I went full time. Four days later, on February 18th, a proverbial truck hit me and rearranged my face. A year later, on February 22nd, 2005, I had SRS.
February has, in a way, become a new month to me...a reminder of my once lost path finally finding a way home.
And, yet, once I found my way home, my life became complacent, to a degree. The sparkle of the journey is lost by the routine pattern of a common life.
If you've watched much TV in the past 50 years, you realize that any program revolving around the journey didn't do so well once they finally made it home...in fact, the story usually ended when the journey home was complete. Lost in Space, Gilligan's Island, Star Trek: Voyager...just to name a few.
But, my story starts anew once the journey has ended. I suppose that's possibly what my life needs in order to be less complacent. I need a continual journey. I need to do new stuff and go new places all the time.
One of my first appearances as Ms. Transgender San Francisco was this past Saturday. Alexandria, who emceed the Cotillion, is part of a monthly drag show called Faux Girls. A number of the Ex-Com are familiar with this show, so they suggested I attend.
As we waited for the show to start, I noticed one girl sitting by herself just in front of me. I moved seats just slightly and asked if she was here alone. She was, and she didn't know the other person with a reserved seat at her table...who had yet to show up. She was from eastern Europe and lives in New York, but her visa was about to expire, so she was out in San Francisco to visit. She was by herself, and she was just out catching the different glitter of San Francisco. We chatted briefly before I moved back to my seat.
I ended up meeting a Russian girl at the show in a similar situation, and we chatted a bit after the show was over. She was quite fascinated by all of the transgender women at the show, and her eyes sparkled with the inquisition of a child wanting more.
Perhaps it is a youthful thing, perhaps it is an inner energy...a drive to experience and learn, a simple yearning for all there is. Might it be the sweet taste of excitement, the natural device of caffeine, and the potential to follow the rabbit around the corner? Or maybe it is a subliminal search for love, a quest for the soul that makes us whole, or a desire of that which makes us smile every time we think of them. Whatever it is, I haven't had enough of it lately.
...so I need to refill my cup.
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