9:45am - Janet from Dr. Meltzer's office just called and said she'd be by in about an hour. She said she was 'stopping by to dilate me.' I knew it was coming and that this Sunday dilation was not the normal day for this. (She was flying out Monday night to Vegas for her day off on Tuesday and knew it would be difficult to do three dilations in one day.)
I was having a bowel movement after breakfast this morning and felt the urge to pee even though I'd just unhooked from the foley bag. So, I relaxed my muscles that keep me from peeing knowing that the catheter plug will prevent anything from coming out. As I did, I felt urine coming out of the sutured area. I quickly activated my muscles again to keep urine from going all over.
I told the nurse out front what had happened and she said that sometimes happens. She actually made it sound like good news since things weren't swollen enough to prevent urine from escaping.
Noon - Lunch has just arrived, just as I had wrapped up my first dilation session. Janet arrived about 11am and we were able to finish inside an hour. First, she cut the sutures that held the labia together after having applied a warm washcloth to 'loosen them up.' It felt a little uncomfortable and there were a few shoots of pain. Having the packing then pulled out was very unique. She said to keep the PC (Pubococcygeus) muscle relaxed so she could get it out, but there is no way in hell someone can do that. I told her it was hard to do that, but she said I had to. I didn't, but she didn't seem to have any problems getting all of it out. It felt like a cross between taking a dump and someone putting a lot of pressure on the perineum, but with a hint/dash of pain.
Next up, she dug all the dilation stuff out: the dilators 1 (1" diameter - 25mm), 2 Tapered (1.125" - 29mm), 2, 3 (1.25" - 32mm), and 4 (1.375" - 35mm)) that were nestled in their terrycloth pocket pouch, the Surgilube, the mirror, and later, the douche kit. She dug out #1, but talked about the tapered #2 as well.
She first went over the new anatomy - CUV - Clitoris, Urethra, and Vagina. It looks damn ugly. I should send a picture back to the kids at UC Berkeley. The labia is swollen and really misshaped. The clitoris, which I can't feel, is smaller than Amber's but Janet says mine is a very decent size. The urethra still has the catheter line coming out of it, but there is this charcoal material all around the entrance. The vagina is also pretty ugly looking.
It's amazing looking at it in relation to where things used to be...especially how the penis shaft is tucked down into the vagina. (JoanB calls it genital origami.) My cleared zone of hair above the penis shaft may be too much, but we'll see how things settle after the swelling goes down.
The mons (pooch) area is still very swollen and she showed me the sutures that are attached just above the mons area that are holding things in place. Amber had two divots, but it looks like I only have one...possibly indicating that I already busted one.
As I was waiting for Janet this morning, I looked at Amber's journal from this last year and the method used to relax for dilation and entry of the dilators. I'd already dug out some jazz on the laptop, and thinking back to the Vagina Monologues, I almost wanted to play 'Let's Get It On' by Marvin Gaye when we started dilation...but I obviously didn't prepare well enough nor does this stupid internet connection in the room allow me to access iTunes on my computer. Oh well.
She checked inside my vagina with her fingers first then loaded up #1 with a bunch of Surgilube. In it went and I felt the dilator move past the PC muscle. It was definitely uncomfortable and a bit painful. We didn't keep it in very long, but she pulled it out and wiped it off. She placed some Bacitracin on the tip and had me smooth it all around. I then placed Surgilube on the bent area of the dilator and smoothed it all around. Then she had me locate the entrance of my vagina with the mirror and insert the dilator. Getting it past the PC muscle is definitely not fun. It hurt pretty good to hold it in the full '15 minutes' which actually ended up being 20 minutes since we were talking. Pulling it out is also kinda uncomfortable, until it's past the PC muscle. What's amazing, though, is that at some point, this is supposed to feel good...really good. Hmmm...that's not going to happen for a while.
We cleaned up and that was about it. She'd already gone over some of the directions but went over them again as well as the douching instructions.
10pm - Dr. Meltzer stopped by this afternoon and took a look at things. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I think he just makes sure to make an appearance in case things aren't going ok. Things are OK, pretty much, so sometimes he'll just ask if he needs to look at things or not. He looked today since the labial sutures have been removed and all of it is exposed. He said things looked pretty decent and were healing well. I also asked him about the peeing around the catheter thing, and he said about the same as Janet and the nurse. He also said that of his patients that have had that, all of them have been able to pee when they took the catheter out. Hopefully that is a good sign for this Wednesday. I'd hate to be the first that doesn't.
I also asked him about the lump I had near my right testicle. I think he said it was a verrucose lump and that I had veins running all through the area - probably from weight lifting. I told him I didn't do that much when I was younger, but I have been running and exercising for quite a while.
I'd noted my vaginal depth around 5 1/4 - 5 1/2" from the first dilation (Janet said this might decrease as the swelling went down) and asked him how deep he thought I was. He said it was hard to tell with his equipment, but after I told him the noted measurements, he said it sounded right.
The bruising on my left side is definitely more prominent, so I asked him about it. He said he had to cut a little higher in that area to release the spermatic cord.
So, I have dilated on my own twice, now. The first time with Janet hurt at least 10 minutes when first starting. The session this afternoon hurt for about the first 5 minutes, and even less on the dilation I just wrapped up. Most of the pain comes from the PC muscle and somewhere deep when I continue to push on the dilator. I dilated around 11am with Janet, and spaced out today's dilations to 4pm and 9pm. I'll dilate again at 2am (I have my phone set and a wakeup call with my nurse) and sometime in the morning...hopefully around 7am if I can get up by then. The first day they require 5 dilations, but then it reduces to 4 per day for the first month. It then reduces to twice a day for the following two months, then once a day for another three months. After that, it's just once a week for the rest of my life.
I also switched over to my own cotton panties - ones that I bought for this trip. I bought slightly larger ones - and stuff cheaper than my normal ones since I'll proably just toss these. My booty seems to prefer the cotton ones a lot better than the mesh underwear. I probably should have switched to these a few days ago.
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