Letting go

I thought I dealt with this when I initially started transition...when I went full time...when I had facial surgery, but now I realize I still haven't gotten over all of it.

Being T isn't easy.

It's hard accepting who you are and what you need to do in order to be...simply in order to be. It's hard giving up that "normal life", of ditching the dream of a wife, 2.3 kids, a dog, and a house in the burbs. Some will say it's not all it's cracked up to be, but all of my friends with kids say they would give anything for their kids....that they would do it all over again exactly the same.

Either way, this is that last little reminder that I'll never have that. Sure, if I really wanted to, I could come close with adoption or a surrogate mother, but the odds are quite against that. And it is nice having family as we age in this complex world of ours. As we grow older, married people are dominated by their children's lives and single people fall thru the cracks.

So, now, here I am.....letting go of that last little inhibition. I gave up the family...the possibility of having a family...long ago. Now it's just finally prying my hands off the cut rope.