The days after FFS

I remember waking up in the recovery room of the hospital that Wednesday evening with Claire and my mom in the room. I can’t necessarily remember what they said or what I said, but I remember I was there...had suction a few times in my mouth, but best of all I can remember having an oxygen mask. I think my mom said that my oxygen levels were coming up low when they checked, so they had given me the mask. The mask had a flow of oxygen, along with a very light mist. That rocked. My throat never felt dry in the hospital for my two nights there. About 4 days post-op, I tried talking to Mira and Dr. O about having that there for all, but due to hospital dynamics, it’s basically only there if your oxygen levels are too low. I joked with them about how one could try to get the mask, but it’s probably something not to be joked about. Plus, Dr. O said he would actually be concerned about the nose cast and the chin strap getting wet. I made sure to check the moisture level when I put the mask on and off, and to wipe out any excess liquid. I never had any nausea those two days, nor did I ever feel the need to throw up. Mom also said that the surgery went well and that I hardly bled during the entire operation...which is why I probably didn't puke after waking up...since there wasn't that much blood that drained into my stomach. Since I had watched Claire go through all of this, I was pretty much prepared to feel like total butt that first night, but not remember much of it later on. My first night, though, wasn't that bad...in fact, it was quite tolerable.

So, anyway, those first two days are mainly marked by me knowing I was there, but only remembering certain parts of it. I remember just Claire and my mom being there the first night. I can remember Mom snoring so loudly that first night I had to get out of bed to wake her up so I could get some sleep. (I think I yelled at her to go home so I could sleep...but she stayed, and brought her Darth Vader sleeping machine the next night.) I can remember a nurse taking the catheter out on Thursday...ouch! I can remember a few nurses coming around to take vitals and empty out the blood bag drains connected to my jaw. I can remember them walking me around the ward once Thursday evening, and in doing so walked right past Marina who didn’t recognize me. I remember Marina visiting with flowers, but I don’t remember much of the conversation. I can remember having to go pee about 3 times, and seeing myself in the mirror for the first time. I remember an annoying person who came around with food and whined about me not peeing in the white retainer they had in the toilet. Hey, she said go pee. I saw this white thing there and put it on the sink since it was in the way. She didn’t tell me to physically go pee in it. I can remember Dr. O coming in one morning to remove the drains in my mouth...ouch! Anyway, I can remember my mom saying we would watch Survivor that Thursday night, but I couldn’t remember actually doing it with her. I taped it at home and watched it again last night, and like I told those in the room, I knew I’d seen certain parts of it, but I couldn’t actually remember it, nor did I know what was going to happen next. (On a little side note about reality television, with the appearance of two transsexuals on European reality TV over the past few years, I think we can expect to see a TS on a big-name reality TV show in the US inside the next year or two. I don’t know how or when, but, trust me, there will be one. Will it be the beginning of the Transsexual Revolution as the Gay Revolution materialized in the 80’s and 90’s? Who knows?)

With the morphine or Demerol pain reliever system (called a PCA) those first two days, you just press a button which delivers the pain killers. It locks you out for a certain amount of time, but basically you keep punching that and slip in and out of consciousness. It was quite fun, and I don't remember ever really feeling any pain in the hospital. The care there was excellent, except for the one annoying person with the food and peeing bit, but I only saw her for a day.

Friday rolled around, and with that in mind, we rolled out of the hospital pretty fast. They had me dress in my clothes that I arrived in, then wheeled me in a wheelchair downstairs. Mira was there with her fancy black car and whisked me over to the Cocoon House, where I was set up in the front room, but not against the window. I figured the light and street noise would be a little less from the other bed, but I definitely enjoyed the front bedroom better...just more positive. I was also able to enjoy Tricia and Mary-Lou’s bright faces as they entered the apartment first thing in the morning.

OK, I’ve written on and off all day, but I’m headed to bed. More later.