I invited a number of friends over for the Super Bowl yesterday, including some who had never seen me as Kara before. Pete, his wife, and their son, along with Erica, Dreu, and Debbie, had their first view of me in “girl mode.” Claire, Amy, Marina, Kathy, and Diana were all at the Cotillion last week, and over spending time with the two first place losers, as I call both Damon and myself. Damon sent me an email this past week wondering what I was doing for the Super Bowl, so I invited him over. I also received an email from Bob, an old college friend, who said he had just moved into the Bay Area. He and I participated on the same sports team what seems like so long ago. He said he was 30 now, and wow, he was like the little kid when I was the old person on the team. Anyway, I invited him over since I knew he probably didn’t have anywhere else to go. It was good to see him again.
I’ll keep it simple: we pigged out.
Afterward, a few of us watched a little Survivor All-Stars, and a Survivor video application I dug up after there were numerous inquiries into my past attempt to be on the show. So...we watched the old me speak for 3 minutes. The recording was about 8-9 months before I began reaching the beginning of my “self awareness” or initial “crisis point,” whatever you want to call that point when you start to address your GID.
Today, I had one of the guys that usually plays sports at lunch stop by my cubicle and say, “ahhhh...this is your hiding spot. We haven’t seen you the past few months. We’re all waiting for the big day.”
“The big day?” I ask thinking my rumor has escaped a few days early.
“Yeah. The time you come out again. We’re ready for you now.”
“Oh.” How symbolic, huh?....considering my letter to the company goes out this Friday.
It’s been hard to hide the breast growth the past few months, plus I have been pretty busy at work. Perhaps I will go out on Wednesday since I won’t be able to play anything for 9 months to a year after FFS, and just hope that they don’t notice the boobs.
Speaking of work again, my boss Y and I were in a bi-weekly meeting last week and via our conversation, I could tell he was going to announce that he was leaving the company for another job. He confirmed it and said he was giving his two week notice on Friday, thus making his last day at work my last day at work before FFS. Doh! That leaves Robi all by herself for almost a month. She didn’t like that news on Friday when Y told her...making it her “worst day ever.”
Finally, I was going to get in a little electro cleanup tonite, but my electro called to give me the good news and the bad news. The good news is that our friend Rachel had successful SRS this morning and was doing fine. The bad news was that her wife (more legal than an actual relationship) was freaking out. My electro said she would probably have to do some “hand holding” later on and said she couldn’t commit to working on me tonite. I told her no problem, of course, with her saying we might be able to get some time in tomorrow night...which is pushing my pre-FFS electro rule.
When talking to my electro, I asked what took so long for the wife to come to the realization that Rachel was taking what some consider to be the final step. I mean, Rachel hasn’t looked like a guy for quite a while and she’s already had a boob job and years of hormones. I guess this last step was just too much for her.
As I was making dinner tonite, I pulled a glass out of the cupboard to pour some leftover soda from the Super Bowl party. As I did, I spotted the writing on the glass. It said “#1 Brother.” The glass was a gift from my sister a long time ago. I wonder if she is going through the same thing that Rachel’s wife is going through...the loss of the male they once knew. Hopefully she will be able to see it the same way that Pete expressed it last night, “You’re still the same person...you just look a little different.”
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