Dreamin'

At some point this past weekend, the visiting Claire and I briefly discussed dreams. She’d had a reoccurring dream lately, and I told her that I’ve had my share over the years. Up until I finally came out to my family, I always had dreams of them catching me dressed up in female clothes. Up until I finally picked up my master’s degree, I also had dreams that I either showed up late for class or I forgot to go to class all semester long until the final exam. Anxieties. They definitely show up in my dreams once in a while.

Lately, my reoccurring dreams have involved myself at the company I was at before I moved out to San Francisco. Sometimes I am there as a guy, sometimes as a girl. Sometimes I feel unwanted, sometimes I feel like I’m just there to do a job, and sometimes I feel secure in being me in a place I never was.

Early yesterday morning, I had another of those dreams. This time I was female and ran into an old coworker that left before I did.

Last night, as I was wrapping up work (and not dreaming), I got a call from another former coworker. She has been very supportive ever since I came out to the whole lot about 2 years ago. She asked me how I was doing after having had the surgery. I told her that things have healed up fairly well.

We also chatted about boobs. I saw another pair of Dr. Gray’s work the other day...and they looked really really good. I told her I was seriously considering them, and that I had a consult already lined up for next month. She had a breast augmentation slightly before I moved away, so we chatted for a while about them. She said the one thing she regretted was not getting them sooner. It’s funny...I say the same thing about transition, and, of course, everyone I’ve met who’s gotten boobs has said that they loved them...even the genetic girls.