Monday, August 11, 2003

PFLAG Meeting

Marina was down again tonite. She knew that I had been to PFLAG meetings in the area, and she was interested in the organization’s potential assistance with her own family when she comes out to them. So, her in her lesbian outfit, and I in boy mode made our way to the meeting.

I’ve been going for at least six months and have found their meetings to be invaluable. The group was established to help the parents of mainly gay and lesbian youth accept who their children are. They’ve listened to my story a few times, and they can relate so well to the reactions of my own family. The denial, the “blaming themselves for this happening to me”, and the “how can we fix you” stage are all things that relate LGBT parents to one another. One set of parents told me that it took them 5 years to come out of their own closet once their son came out of his. But they also enlightened me that it took their son twenty some years to come out, and they needed their own time to come out. So true. So, that’s when I realized that I needed to give my family their own time to “come out.” My mom didn’t take long, but the others can take as long as they like. I hope they come around at some point...and I will always be there when they do.

I’m usually the only T person or relative of a T that shows up. They have all been fairly inquisitive about me. All the times I went, I went in boy mode...except last time. Many did not initially recognize me, and in fact, one lady tonite wondered who I was but she had been at the last meeting. Anyway, the leaders of the meeting said they had a story to tell. Their lesbian daughter’s lover is now in the process of transitioning to being a man. So, there was further inquiry as to this female who was to be a man, but the reactions of others from my own perspective still seemed quite extreme. I guess I am just numb to the whole thing.

Marina and I grabbed dinner afterward. She had her shirt on properly this time. We talked about websites like Authentikate’s and Genderpeace. I told her Courtney and I had talked about it the other day. Court has genderjourney.net. I told her I was putting together a journal as well, because the experiences that are told first hand are incredibly valuable for all the different generations. I told her I had looked at Karacter or Karasma, but they just didn’t sound that good. I like positivity, but it’s already taken. Of course, there is this site, or just making one with just the name. In the meantime, this one is only costing me the price of AOL so I’ll probably stick with it for a while.

No comments: