Two dreams

I had a dream last night that I still had a penis. Although some might find that disturbing, I'll admit that it makes me wonder. Not only did I have a penis, but I was using it to have sex with a woman. From what I remember of the dream, I think she was the first woman I ever had sex with. The fairly surprising thing, though, is that I didn't orgasm.

I have no idea how to interpret the dream, but after the sex, I went to the bathroom. (How people are able to dream about using the restroom and not actually pee in bed, I have no idea.) Initially, I actually grabbed it, but something in my brain realized I didn't have one, and it disappeared. I then had to sit down to pee. I think the dream ended there.

This wasn't the first time I've dreamt that I've had a penis. I had one just last week, and while I was going to write about it, the first dream did not contain as much graphical reference to the now departed appendage.

Do I miss having a penis? Well, it's hard to describe exactly how I feel about things. I was talking at a few college Human Sexuality classes yesterday, and one of the usual questions did get asked: Is there anything I miss from before? I like to answer it by asking people if they ever lived anywhere else in their life. Do they miss anything from there? Most say they miss something. I ask them if they like living where they are now. Most say yes. That's me, there are things I miss from before, but I like where I'm living now.

I mean, I don't necessarily miss having a penis, but I do miss some of the sensations that it brought. I have to admit, I'm not as sensate down below as I once was. Don't get me wrong...I'm sensate enough to reach orgasm relatively fast, but it's still not the same as it once was. Perhaps I just haven't had sex with the right person yet...who knows.

If it were truly up to me, I'd have a slightly more sensate vagina for sex with anyone with a penis, and a penis for sex with anyone with a vagina. (OK, maybe vagina on vagina for some.) So...yeah, a detachable penis. Why not?

Unfortunately, that's not going to happen. I like having a vagina, I just wish the sensation was a little better. I've been told to give it time for the nerves to heal, so my sensation may change with time. We'll see.

On a lighter note, Bob, the purchasing guy for our group, enters my cube and, with a very large grin on his face, asks if I want to hear something funny. Bob is a man's man...well, I think he's a man's man. When I came out to him, he said he knew there was something different about me. When I showed him pictures of the women on TS Successes, he tilted his head to the side and said 'Noooohhh!' in a way reminiscent to Homer Simpson at half the speed. When he saw the beautiful women, he needed them to be women...cuz he was attracted to them. When he thought he saw a transgender woman at a little shopping area, I was the first to hear his story. When he was recently toasted in a bar and chatting with an attractive woman, he said his only way to make sure she was a genetic woman was to ask her if she could have kids. (He said he was so plastered that he couldn't even see her face that well.)

This time, he pops in to see if I want to hear the story that he's going to tell me anyway. I say sure, knowing that I'm obviously going to get something along the T theme line. He moves in close and whispers, "I was talking to the new guy who was filling in for me last week. He said, 'Hey, I met Kara while you were out. She's hot!'"

"Ahhhh...and what did you say?"

"I didn't have the heart to tell him."

"Well, it really shouldn't matter...there's no reason to tell him. I talked at a Human Sexuality class yesterday, and the topic of telling a person in a relationship came up. I told the student that 'telling someone' was a big debate with transgender people. When should one tell? Personally, I prefer someone get to know me first before I tell them. When people know the truth, their interaction with me changes. Some people don't want to know...out of sight, out of mind. I asked one of the students if he wanted to know. He said, 'Hell, yeah'. I asked him why...what would it matter. He said, 'Well, I don't have an answer for that.' The main thing is society has such a big stigma for transsexuals, and anyone dating them. Most of the men I've met that are interested in transgender women want to either keep her status a secret or don't want anyone to know who they are dating. It's pretty sad that they have to be in the closet about such a thing, but, because they don't consider themselves to be gay, they just aren't ready to admit their attraction to transgender women because of the societal stigma.

Anyway, Bob is definitely a character, and since he never knew me as a guy, he treats me fairly well. He's hopefully one person, though, that being out with definitely makes a difference.