When I think about my journey ahead, it all seems like a dream. It’s still hard to believe that I’ve made it this far and the goal is well within sight. If someone would have told me three years ago where I would be today, I never would have believed them, but inside, I would have known it’s what I wanted.
I was thinking about how I’ll be having surgery with Dr. O early next year and how things will drastically change with my face. And then coming out at work and how that whole fiasco will go. I am so numb to coming out to people that it won’t be anything unusual for me, but all of these people are probably going to be severely shocked.
I also thought about SRS in early 2005 and how I can finally get on with my life with the body that matches my mind. To not have to look down and see a penis....it’s just incredible. I can’t imagine actually being all gowned up in the OR and having it done, but yet, I know one day I will be there. I’ll be nervous as hell, but I’ll also be quite happy and probably horribly excited.
I can remember coming home from my first night of upper lip electrolysis and seeing it all swelled up. I stood there looking in the mirror and saying to myself, “You’re actually doing this.....you’re actually doing this.” I couldn’t imagine taking all the steps along this journey. Here I am a long way along the path, but just into the foothills with a large mountain still to climb.
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