Amber's SRS

1:27pm – It’s a waiting game now. Amber is in the OR undergoing vaginoplasty with Dr. Meltzer.

We left the hotel a little before 10am and arrived here at Greenbaum a little before her scheduled 10:15 appointment. She filled out some paperwork then registered at the desk. She was off to the prep area when they told me they’d let me back with her in about 30-45 minutes. I was allowed back to sit with her around 11:30 until she was wheeled off a little after noon. She was doing surprisingly well. I think I was more emotional about all of it more so than herself. (I cried after they wheeled her away – barely able to make it outside so no one would see my emotional mess.)

Besides Amber’s endless conversations about food (she was hungry after not eating anything the past day and a half), she pondered if Destiny brought us here. I don’t know. What I do know is that I knew I would be doing this for a very long time now. I’ve always wanted this, and yeah, I guess Destiny will bring me this way in the future. I'm still scared, though. I guess that’s one reason I’m so emotional with all of this. I’ve gotten to know Amber fairly well the past couple of months. Deep down, we’re very much alike. To see her going through SRS – I’m very happy for her that she has reached this point. I’m realizing I can finally grasp something that was only a dream. Can anyone remember a dream they had as a kid – something that later came true – like a baseball player getting called up from the minors to the big leagues, or an astronaut finally rocketing into space. Some dreams do come true. What happens after that dream? Life? A new beginning? Amber says that this isn’t a new beginning – going full time was the new beginning. This is like the sequel. Perhaps this is the sunset that so many sail off into.

On a lighter note, I think that tiny bit of Magnesium Citrate from last night caught up with me this afternoon.

4:30pm – Dr. Meltzer just came out into the lobby area about 5 minutes ago to tell me that things went well for Amber. He said there was minimal loss of blood and that the surgery was very routine. I had an overwhelming feeling of happiness sweep over me when I heard she was OK. Claire and JoanB had both called within 5 minutes of each other during the past half hour – before Dr. Meltzer came out to give me the good news. He also said that she’d be wheeled up to the room in probably about 45 minutes. Looks like I have another waiting game – but this one will be much shorter.

6:20pm – Amber’s been up here in her recovery room for a little over half an hour (they wheeled her in right at 5:45). She’s in remarkably good spirits, although, still slightly out of it because of the anesthesia. She’s cracked a few jokes here and there – even telling me to “go rob a bank.” I told her previously that I was here for her. She asked if I was her “slave,” but I again reiterated that I was here to help her whenever she needed it.

She’s had a few ice chips thus far and felt a bit nauseous. I think she has ice on her groin as well and the same type of blood drains that I had for FFS, except hers are obviously down below instead of coming out of her mouth. She also has to blow into this contraption called a spirometer. And no, it doesn’t measure Spironolactone. She doesn’t like blowing into it – which she says makes her nauseous.

9:36pm – Amber’s been asleep since basically the last time I wrote in here. They’d just hooked up the PCA machine so I think she’s been pretty drugged up with all of it. Hopefully she’ll get a good night’s sleep and be feeling pretty good tomorrow. I’m spending the night with her tonight – sleeping on the very stiff fold out chair that they have in the room. The nurses were very kind to provide me with sheets, blanket, and a pillow. I figure I, too, will be crashing soon.