Well, here we are – the night before Amber’s SRS. The summary thus far: We flew in Saturday afternoon then checked into the hotel. We found a little place in ‘old town’ for dinner that night then caught Spiderman 2. Sunday, we were off to visit Amber’s friend, Chuck, for lunch. Chuck is one of those TS that has fully transitioned, but for a number of reasons, has decided to de-transition.
Amber and I then mulled around for a bit in downtown Phoenix. I found one of those small photo-booths that takes 4 pictures...and talked her into sitting through it. That was the first time I have ever done that...perhaps reliving a little of my lost youth. We grabbed dinner at Uno’s in the Arizona Center for her last solid meal as she chowed down on a large burger. We then caught a spectacular fireworks show at park north of downtown. Their music was far from the best, but the show was definitely worth it. The hard part about being out for the show was the heat. At 9:30pm, it was still pretty warm even though the sun had been down for over an hour. It was the only time I’d sweat so far. Today, I was up early for a run (at 7am with the sun well up and bringing the temperature up with it) then we went over to Dr. Meltzer’s office for her pre-surgical visit. We caught lunch at a Japanese restaurant where I had a bento box while she was able to have miso soup, but only the broth. We visited with Elisa, who I had previously met in Chicago, at Greenbaum for a few hours. She was recovering from her SRS six days earlier. When we first arrived there we had to wait as Janet, one of Dr. Meltzer’s nurses, was “showing her a new trick.” In other words, it was her first dilation.
After talking with Elisa, she said the surgery was 'basically going to sleep and waking up with a vagina'. She’d just had the packing out and said that the dilation wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. She did, however, say that the surgical site looked really bad and that it smelled even worse.
Seeing Amber going through this and visiting with Elisa, who is just recovering, has brought out some new emotions for me. I’ve dreamed about this moment for most of my life, although my moment is still to come. But this moment for Amber brings with it a sort of completion. Amber and I have had some good conversations about SRS the past few days – but it basically boils down to this summary:
SRS is currently the best available option to moving on with life.
Although some people do de-transition and find a way to live, living as a man is not an option for some of us. It was too hard not being me. I also don’t think I can live as a tweener – someone who lives between the two genders, even though, of course, some people might call me that anyway. With SRS and a new “vagina,” I can try to live a fulfilling life – to be whole – to be me.
SRS, though, is not the most fun thing to do, as I have witnessed thus far with Amber. We spent most of the day having her drink a glass of water every hour, followed by the Magnesium Citrate about 5:30pm this afternoon. She said it didn’t taste too bad, so she left a tiny amount in the bottle for me to taste. She’s right, it wasn’t that bad. She really tired of the continual water though, and dreaded tonight’s suppository. About 9:30pm, she inserted it into her anus. I knew this because she exclaimed, “Oh my God – that is the worst feeling in the world having something shoved up your ass.” About 30 minutes later, she was off to the throne for Round 1, and recently, about 1.5 hours later, was off for Round 2. Hopefully she doesn’t have a Round 3.
Amber seems to have made it through all of this in decent shape so far. She hasn’t liked the bowel evacuation and prep thus far, but she’s done well on the emotional side. In fact, I may be more emotional than her. She’s also done well with my teasing/flirting. Yeah, I flirt with a few T-friends, but they all seem to like boys. I, myself, am keeping my options open.
Anyway, I think we’re off to sleep soon for her big day tomorrow.
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